myOtaku.com: DemonicAssassin

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1991-04-21
Gender
• Female
Location
• Down Under, A.K.A: Australia
Member Since
• 2006-09-19
Occupation
• um...kid?
Real Name
• Ally

Personal

Achievements
• Plenty of Horseriding ribbons, a Gymnastics medal...stuff like that.
Anime Fan Since
• Since back in yee olde days when me was a youngin...two years ago.
Favorite Anime
• Beyblade, Saiyuki, Fruits Basket, Yu-Gi-Oh, and I only just got madly into Naruto!
Goals
• To become a cartoonist. But what else?
Hobbies
• Drawing...lying in bed pondering on why we all exist...etc.
Talents
• Art...writing stories...nothing much else.

myOtaku.com: DemonicAssassin

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Suicidal...
*sigh* mum yelled at me again this morning.

she forced me out of bed and made me go to school...but, u kno, goin into the school grounds doesnt mean im goin to CLASS does it? hehehe i wagged from the second i stepped into the grounds XD but hey, i was too damn upset to go to class. and u kno wut? i got to thinkin about why the heck i cry every single time i get yelled at.
its not weakness or sensitivity. its pain and anger all building up inside me. lets just take a flashback shall we...
when i posted 'I've become so Numb' i had gone completely numb on the outside after she yelled at me and i'd wanted to hit her. and before that, as we go back in a timeline of me being hit and screamed at and offended my anger just dimms out nearer to when it all started off.
iv been getting angrier every time im abused in any way. i realised that this morning when i pushed her off my arm for the first time in my life. i felt so much anger inside. and it came so close to bursting out in screams of 'I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!!!' and a good hit or two across the face.
at school i was just wandering around and came so close to just walking up to one of the fences and punching the hell out of it. i wanted to commit suicide. iv wanted to do that since last night actually...and before that. just one good stab to the throat. and its not only to end my suffering, its to end the suffering of others as much as possible too.
iv watched one boy in particular do so much damage to so many people, including myself. he calls the girls gossips when he's like ten times worse, and feels them up. if he doesnt cut it out i can bet you ten bucks he'll become a rapist. if i ever commit suicide, i not just going to be killing myself, i wont rest untill i drag him to hell with me. plus im protecting everybody else from more damage from that anger i was talking about...its retarded.

i know...my posts are getting way too deep into my thoughts and mind to be normal and wotevur...but im just weird anyways XD my next post wont be a deep, promise!

and OOOOOOOOOO isnt my new bg the BEST or wut???

catch yaz all!
Comments (2)

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