myOtaku.com: DemonMessiah

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1983-09-11
Gender
• Male
Location
• i moved out of the physics lab...now i live at work
Member Since
• 2004-06-27
Occupation
• surviving
Real Name
• matt, chris, amanda, oz

Personal

Achievements
• nothin' all that impressive
Anime Fan Since
• not sure. it's fairly recent though
Favorite Anime
• full metal alchemist is the best i've seen. i also like hellsing, ghost in the shell, big o, trigun, cowboy bebop, samurai champloo
Goals
• scuba dive in the great barrier reef
Hobbies
• texas hold 'em poker, movies
Talents
• does procrastinating count?

myOtaku.com: DemonMessiah

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

*spreads my arms* welcome to the land of the dead. please, make yourselves comfortable
anyone ever wonder why they continue living? i've been doing a lotta thinking lately about that. with all this pain and being unable to see any hope in the future, it's no wonder the suicide rate for 15 - 24 year olds is the highest of any age group. don't get me wrong here, i won't kill myself. i couldn't do that to you guys. i know you care about me and i don't wanna hurt you anymore than seeing me in so much pain does already. it just doesn't seem like i'm living anymore. i'm an empty shell just wandering around the world with no purpose...at least none i can talk about here in the open because there's a certain someone not allowed to know of it. anyway, don't ask what that purpose is or who's not allowed to know because i won't tell you nor will i confirm or deny anything. well other than that one thing, i have no reason for being here. my heart is gone as is my soul. i've become an empty husk.

My Only Love

I never stopped loving you
for a second or even a moment.
I never breathed without you on my lips,
I never smiled without your face on my mind.
Every face I saw was yours..
Since you've gone, I've looked at no other,
your lips as soft as silk, are the only thing left on my lips.
Photos, are vague reminders of our love.
Your smile shows the love you once held for me.
Letters of yours I clutch tightly running my fingers over "I love you"
trying to smile as I remember how much I love you, but all I can do is cry.
I sit here and clutch the things you have given me,
things I should've thrown out, but that I couldn't bear to part with.
Your memories live on in my heart.
Hard to forget your face, your touch.
I sit here and try to remember what happened..
I take my feelings and shove them back in my heart until you are locked away.
I stare at the key in my hand,
and I throw the key away hoping for it to never be found.
Your love is something I'll never get again.
I've lost the key.

ps. i love you rebecca.
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