Saturday, October 30, 2004

all my poetry and a little explanation about each
hey, i don't really have much to say today, so i thought i'd post all the poems i've written so far...for those of you that're newer to my site and missed the first couple of 'em. before anyone wonders, yes every poem i've ever written (outside of a school assignment - those were before i met her) is about rebecca or my own feelings about her, or since she left me. tell me which is your favorite...

this was the first poem i'd ever written. it was back when i first met rebecca. we only had one computer in my parents' room at the time and my mom wanted to go to bed, so she kicked me off. this was about the time when rebecca thought i'd left and forgotten about her. truth is i was busy with school and work for two days and was unable to get on at the same time she was. i also used the time to figure out how i felt for her. i thought i was falling in love, but i needed to make sure i wasn't just feeling protective and fooling myself. i'm sure you guys can figure out which conclusion i came to. while i was gone, she'd gotten a new screen name (my aim was set up so only people on my buddy list could see me), so i had no way to contact her...or so i thought. i thought she'd abandoned me or run away or killed herself. i don't think i'm supposed to go into detail, so suffice it to say when i first met her, she had really low self esteem (still does at times), but i've been working with her for nearly two years, and she's made incredible progress. i'm so proud of her for that. anyway i was so worried sick about her that i couldn't think straight. i didn't think to contact her through neopets (that's how we met). one day i went in there and hadda message from her saying she hadda new sn. i was worried about rebecca and i wanted to help her, but i was forcibly removed from her so while i was angry at my mother for taking me away from any means of contacting her, i wrote this...

"Helpless"

My love
Sweet kitten
So far away
Frightened and alone
So helpless
I need to save you
I’m going insane
Separated from my love
Depressed and afraid
So helpless
I haven’t slept in weeks
Thinking only of her
My sweet kitten
There’s no escape
So helpless
Their beautiful death
Set you free
No longer afraid
No longer helpless

i don't remember when i wrote this next one. i was just trying to find a way to express what i felt about rebecca at the time...

"I Need You"

I need you
I need your touch

your sweet, gentle kiss
to smell your hair
to hold you close and
to look deep into your eyes and say

I love you
I love the way you whisper my name

the way you cling to my waist
the way you comfort me everyday
the way you make me feel
when you look deep into my eyes and say

I love you

i wrote this next poem about the same time i wrote "i need you." it was trying to show what rebecca is to me. of course she's far more to me than i could ever put into words and i hope she realizes that. anyway, here's the poem...

"You Are"

You are

my love
my life
my best friend
my reason for being
my everything

You are

my darling
my fishie
my biggest fan
my reason to go on
my everything

You are

my soulmate
my smile
my sweet kitten
my reason for laughing
my everything

as many of you may know in my dreams, i have large angelic wings. they used to be of the purest white, but when rebecca left me, they were torn off. with her love and darke angel's excellent bandaging skills, they were healed. however, they are now the darkest black imaginable. rebecca says they're still soft when i wrap them around her to protect her from bad dreams and the like. this next poem is about my wings...

"Angel's Wings"

You long to escape
To be free from all this pain and suffering
I will take you away
I will fly you to a place where you can be free
On angel's wings

You long to feel safe
To know that you're loved and protected
I will love you forever
I will keep you safe from the world wrapped
In angel's wings

You long to be accepted
To feel that you're honored and respected
I will honor you always
I will lift you up and support you
With angel's wings

I long to hold you
To make you feel safe and warm
I will protect you forever
I would like to thank you for giving me
My angel's wings

this next poem i think all of you have seen already. it was me trying to figure out what went wrong and why she left...

"Questions"

Where did i go wrong
What should i have done for love
Was it even me

and finally, the last poem i wrote shows what i've been feeling since she left...

"It's Not Her Love"

All alone in this world
Dwelling in my cold, lonely heart
Existing without life

People all around
Tell me that they care
But it's not the same
It's not her love
Comments (4)