Thursday, April 7, 2005

i still exist
sorry i haven't been here in a while. i'm busy at school and when i get home i don't feel like doing much of anything. right now i'm sitting in the physics lab waiting for my partners to get here to start my lab. i'm finally starting to figure out some of my circuits stuff, but math is starting to give me a bit of a headache...i'm beginning to dislike multivariate differentials...and now we're using them in three (or more) dimensions and attempting to draw space curves and lines and planes tangent to those curves...*takes exedrin*...ouch. ah well, at least physics is pretty easy right now...we're studying electrical circuits (i've already done two quarters of a circuits class, so that's easy). now we're starting to move into magnetism and the force it exerts on an electrical current or charge...*twirls finger in the air* yippee (sarcasm...as if you couldn't tell).

i got paid this morning, but as soon as i got my check, it disappeared...deposited in bank, then wrote a check to visa...avoid getting credit cards as long as you can kiddies...next step is to get next pay check, reimburse parents for car insurance. by the time i have money of my own again, it'll be next month and i'll be stuck with more bills...ah well, summer will be here soon enough and i'll be able to work more and have more money. and hopefully that scholarship and tax refund will show up soon. the scholarship was supposed to pay for the current quarter, but it didn't show up in time, so i hadda pay out of my own pocket...hence the reason i'm broke now. =/

i keep getting calls to play poker and having to turn them down...technically i can afford to play, but i'd rather save the money i do have until all my bills are paid off (seems the smart thing to do), then play again when i'm back outta debt.

as for life outside of school and matters not pertaining to money...actually there really aren't any. my life gets to revolve around school now. :( i miss the good ol' days when i could just screw around and have fun all the time...responsibility sucks. oh well, if i ever wanna get outta this place, i s'pose i should take some.

i have a bit of advice for anyone out there that's in love with someone that doesn't love you in return...just because you love them, does not mean they have to love you back. let them go. i've learned that the hard way, and now the girl i love thinks i'm an ass. last time i talked to her, she said all she wanted was for me to quit being an ass. when i asked what she meant, she said that me pitying myself and moping around because she'd left was very ass-like...so take it from me kids, if someone leaves you, do not show them you hurt. it only makes things worse.
and on that note, here's a song that has become one of my favorite songs ever.

"Sitting, Waiting, Wishing"

Now I was sitting waiting wishing
That you believed in superstitions
Then maybe you'd see the signs
But Lord knows that this world is cruel
And I ain't the Lord, no I'm just a fool
And in loving somebody don't make them love you

Must I always be waiting waiting on you?
Must I always be playing playing the fool?

I sing ya songs I dance a dance
I gave ya friends all a chance
Putting up with them wasn't worth never having you
And maybe you been through this before
But its my first time
So please ignore
The next few lines cause they're directed at you

I cant always be waiting waiting on you
I cant always be playing playing your fool
I keep playing your cards
But its not my scene
Wont this plot not twist?
I have no place to read?
Keep building me up, then shooting me down
Well im already down
Just wait a minute
Just sitting waiting
Just wait a minute
Just sitting waiting

Well if I was in your position
Id put down all my ammunition
I'd wondered why'd it taken me so long
But Lord knows that I'm not you
And If I was I wouldn't be so cruel
Cause waiting on love ain't so easy to do

Must I always be waiting waiting on you?
Must I always be playing playing the fool?
No I cant always be waiting waiting on you
I cant always be playing playing your fool, foool

-Jack Johnson
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