Watch out, 'cause it may just be coming for your punk ass next.
Step 1
First, get a saucepan with a diameter just bigger than that of the block of instant ramen. The size is important, so make sure it isn't too big, or else your ramen won't end up being fit to kick anyone's ass. Fill it with water roughly twice the depth of the height of the ramen block (about three inches) and bring it to a boil.
Step 2
Put the ramen in to boil for 3-3½ minutes, and leave the heat setting the same. Now, disregard what the packaging says, and add the flavor packet. Dump it out on top of the ramen, then use a fork to push the ramen down into the water so it's completely submerged -- this helps the ramen to cook evenly -- and try to mix the contents of the flavor packet evenly throughout the water.
After the first minute has elapsed, the ramen should be soft enough to start being broken apart. Use the fork to gently pull the ramen apart while stirring to distribute the heat evenly. The ramen should be completely broken up by the time the first two minutes have elapsed.
The third minute and a half or so is the most important stage of the cooking. By this time, the water should have heated back to a complete boil, so keep stirring in order to keep the ramen cooking evenly. After the full time of cooking has elapsed, remove the saucepan from the stove.
Step 3
Strain the ramen out of the pan and into a bowl. (Real men don't drink the broth.) Now, though close, the ramen isn't quite done. As you should see, it's still glistening with moisture. To truly be able to kick any ass, that extra moisture needs to be gotten rid of. (This is a balance between being cool and being hot; a form of The Subtlety.) Stir the ramen around with the fork and blow on it until it no longer looks wet.
Finally, upon successful completion of all three steps, you should now have a bowl of ramen that will kick your ass.
