Monday, November 1, 2004

Medical mishaps seems to be my lot in life...
So, we went to the doctor today for the stomache problems. I got some medicine to temporarily keep the pain away, but I have to go to the hospital for more tests. Goodie. The doctor says she thinks it might be either Acid Reflux [bad] or an ulcer [worse], but I think it might be one of those unexplainable things you can't treat [worst]. While we were there I got something for my cold, flu, whatever it is. She asked if I'd be able to take care of it myself and I said no, it'd only get worse and then turn into a sinus infection, so I got a prescription for that. I also got a stronger allergy medication prescription. So, for the next several days, I'll be taking six pills a day. I'm so lucky.

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System Crash
Seems everything is catching up with me and I'm getting pretty sick... and really fast. It starts with a sore throat Saturday morning and by Sunday I'm taking four teaspoons of liquid medicine [I don't like pills] and I go to sleep at 11 and wake up sometime between 1 and 2 in a cold sweat like I had a fever ... Can't get my sore throat to go away even after drinking like 10 cups of warm tea. [shakes head] I have a doctor's appointment today which was originally made to check on my stomache issues, but guess we'll be looking into something to get me out of this before it gets worse. I've gotten sick so often over the past couple years that my lymph nodes are permanently enlarged, you can conclude from that that when I get sick with something it's usually pretty bad. What's worse is that it happens often. Last year was pretty good though, didn't get strep throat once which was like a miracle but I guess I won't be so lucky this year. While I don't like taking medicine [when I have a headache or migraine I don't usually take anything for it] I don't want this turning into something that'll keep me out of school. So, I've got one day to recooperate.
I was supposed to go to the mall today. Get some more long sleeved shirts. I really need them, so I'll probably go anyway. If Cim still has a migraine I said I'd go alone, because I also wanted to look for some perfume and some lavendar scented oil. Don't know if I mentioned it yet but the scent of lavendar is supposed to soothe your brainwaves so it's easier to sleep, or so Kamiko tells me she's read. I really need to try it. The perfume is an identity thing. I want to be able to be identified by scent, so if somebody decides to steal my sweater or something they can smell it and be like "Oh yeah, this is Rebekka's" sort of deal. I don't think it's super girly or anything like that. Brittany wears perfume and it always gives me this "I'm in good company" feeling whenever I smell it, because I like Brittany. She's very nice, and one of the few people who like to talk to me and are considerate when I'm away from Catherine's prep crowd. Brittany doesn't particularly like Catherine's prep crowd either so, we keep eachother company 'til she's done talking to them.
I found this dating service site that pairs you with people according to your Astrology chart. I'd like to try it just to see how it works and how well it works. I always wanted to break some of the Astrology stereotypes, but sometimes I think there's always a justification for it. For example, I get along really well with Water signs. It can be justified by saying A: I have a Water Ascendant and B: my Sun is only 3* away from Pisces, which means Pisces will greatly influence my Sun as well. I can't think of any other examples... I've never been in a relationship, but it almost doesn't make sense to try this online just because.. I can be very different in person. Um, a lot less open probably. Another problem with that is, I find it a lot easier to talk online [who doesn't?] but to the point that in person I sometimes can't talk at all. It's sort of awkward, because I get caught without knowing what to say a lot. So. I don't know. I'm mulling it over.

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Saturday, October 30, 2004

Early Problems
Today I told Cim I might go to the library tomorrow ... I told her just to read and have something to do. I have a feeling people are going to be very nosey about where I go and why, and I don't like that. We're going to be having problems ... I just know it. I keep things like what I do personal, nobody needs to know what I'm doing, and I don't like people always keeping tabs on me. I don't mind checking in, but if they always insist on knowing exactly what I'm doing, I don't like that. The next year and a half is going to be long and gruesome.

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New Achievement
I have conquered the back roads of Kentucky. And that means.. yes, I can drive by myself now... that is, if Cim tells me I drive good enough on the main roads to. She obviously doesn't like making decisions, and I could tell by her twisted face she didn't want to answer yet. I'm pretty much saying good-bye to those backroads. I'd rather take an interstate highway than go on the backroads. Anyway, that's all.

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Once Upon a Sleepless Night
Last night I only got 2 hours of sleep. I'm not really tired, but my body is ... feeling strange. Kind of.. achey and sore but... not. I dunno.
It's raining this morning. It's nice. Later sometime today Pim's gonna take me out in the Nissan to see if I can pass his little backroads "test" so I can finally go out driving by myself. If I pass, I might go to the mall today. Or Barnes and Noble, to sit in the café area they have there and just read. Yes, that would be nice. Once I can drive I'll probably be doing that a lot. Then everyone can complain how I'm never home, because it's just always something.
Didn't see much of Natalie on Friday, but at the end of school she gave me a DVD to watch about the Savannah College of Art and Design. I think I'd rather go there than to the University of Cincinatti just because they have smaller class sizes. Small class sizes are important to me, as you should know by now, I'm not much of a people person. You can get a Master in Architecture there, so it has what I need. And if I go there and decide not to be an architect, I still have every other art subject to consider. Everybody else wants me to do something that involved art but ... I don't really want to. I'm not going to waste my artistic inclinement or anything like that but I'd rather use it as a hobby than a career. Truth is, I don't know what I want to do anymore ... Architecture is still what I'm planning to do and will be what I do unless I can find another career and plan it as neatly as this one and still get the benefits I need.
My fingers are sore. They've been kind of sore lately. I don't really have much to say. Life is very uneventful. Except yesterday evening I was arguing with someone I talk to ... somewhat often, about a stupid thing they brought up. I don't know how we got to it, but he's just hell bent that somebody at school has a crush on me. I argue, that's impossible. A: I'm practically invisible, B: I never talk, again I'm invisible, C: There few people you can go to to learn about me because nobody really knows about me and D: I'm just not the type of person people "like". I'm just not. You can't drill that into his head though. Just doesn't sink in. Blah blah blah. Yeah, I think I'm done.

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Thursday, October 28, 2004

What If ...
You know, if hatred could eat you alive, I'd be dead. So, Ms. Wilson is engaged, I'm glad for her I guess. Her husband died a couple years ago and she's been living in a rather large house all by her lonesome, so now she won't be solitary all the time.
Figured out why I lost my patience with Patrick. He's a hypocrit. He wrote an article for the school newspaper about how some kids make fun of other kids just because they're more individualistic than the aggressor. Patrick does the same thing, and he talks about people behind their backs. It's like he has more bad things to say about people than good. I'm glad we got a seating arrangement in Geometry, I don't sit beside him anymore. What about lunch though ? I'm usually around Alison anyway. Makes me wonder how this happened. But Patrick's gonna have to go find a new chum, because I'm not putting up with him anymore.
I got my new schedule today. I got into Painting I for next semester, first period. I almost regret going in there now because Patrick will be in there, but I think Natalie will be too. They're both much more talkative than I am, so maybe I can get away with keeping to myself...

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Digital Camera
I'm hope for Christmas [or sooner] I'll be able to get a Digital Camera. I already know which one I want. The Fujifilm FinePix E550. The cheapest I've found it is $301, but it's an amazing little gadget. I'd like to get it before Christmas, so I can take pictures of how things are now, but I don't know if Pim will get it for me early. I'm gonna tell him that I'll put all my Christmas money towards it, I get at least $20 every year. Sure it's not much but it's still something. Cim was supposed to have asked about it, I'm gonna see what she says now since I need to go downstairs anyway.

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Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Bad Choice?
I decided not to take my US History book home to do a worksheet that was assigned for tomorrow because it's a 500+ page book and the answers cover only a few pages. It's ridiculous. So I'm gonna do it tomorrow during second period, when we won't be doing anything anyway. I hope that wasn't a bad choice ...
Mr. Yelton was telling us today about his bad experience with his first wife, how he basically left her, but that was a lesser of two evils, because he thought it was either that or literally kill her. He said today he's the happiest man on the planet though, there's no one on earth that gets along better than him and his wife. They've never fought and he's never said a harsh word to her. I have to say it's great, admireable, even ... I may be a bit envious. I don't imagine I could ever live with anyone for years without getting annoyed with them regularly... to the point where I'd want them to die even. I used to be tolerable but I've lost some of my patience, at least with some people. I don't lose my temper and explode at them but in my mind I get irritated.
Lauren decided to tell me about how she may be suspended. She got so angry she scream-explained what happened, so it looked like I had done something and she was angry with me. [sweatdrop] I told her to stop yelling and to calm down but she just kept screaming. I felt my face turning red from the attention I knew she was drawing. [sigh] What're you gonna do though?
*Deleted*

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Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Strange Thought.
I was thinking about Valentine's Day... Yeah it's strange. Well, what brought it to mind was the Saint Valentine's Day Massacre in 1929, which we discussed today in class. Wonder how we got to having Valentine's Day. Why can't we call it Winter Thanksgiving like in Harvest Moon? 'Cept, Winter Thanksgiving I believe it's the girl giving the guy a gift, then the Spring Thanksgiving the guy gives the girl something. I think there's a custom simular to that in Japan as well.
Mr. Yelton said his Farmer's Almanac predicts the winter to be record-breakingly cold but the moisture to be below normal. So, we'll just freeze our asses off without the snow. Damn.

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Monday, October 25, 2004

And... now... all I wish is to die with you. Do not deny me this last request.
I need to pay better attention to what I type. I'm going through a phase of poor spelling with typos plentiful.
Found out the other day I belong in the second decan, but I'm sticking with my story, the third decan suits me better. Much better.
I'm writing this to pass the last 5 minutes of the day in a conscious state. I'm saying a final prayer for the day and it's ending on a drowsy note. I'm barely awake.
I still lack anything to write about. I read an article about Scorpio in Venus. Ben has Scorpio in Venus. For a while I thought it'd be interesting to meet someone with Scorpio in Venus [besides Ben obviously] because I have Aries in Venus. How would Mars interact with the same position in Venus even by different signs. It would be interesting to observe, especially in a personal relationship, or romantic even. Family doesn't count. You'll tire of family before you tire of dealing with any other person ... unless you, well, live with them. Then I decided I don't want to do that ... I don't want to be around people like anyone in my family. Ever. I couldn't live through that without returning a total mess.. not that I'm not already. Life ... what one word can you use to describe it. Ironic, I guess.

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