Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Social Retard
Pardon my use of the word 'retard', I don't like to use it but it seems to suit my cause better than any other word I can think of. Unfortunetly, I know that's what I am. People will say something and I won't understand... I don't know why. It's not like I'm stupid. I answer the best I can and then they just laugh at me. This is why it's better to just keep my mouth shut.
I do want to say thanks to Zene for sympathizing with me. I don't think 99% of people truly know what it means to be a loner, but from what Zene says, at least some have it down pat.
This morning, for the first time in a long time, I woke up with the alarm clock. That put me off and put me behind about 10 minutes. Not that it's a big deal but I feel like I haven't slept. I honestly don't know when I woke up before that. I think sometime around 2 ? [scratches head] Eh, it's so cold. 45* wind chill and my window is open, I like to sleep with it cracked. It's freezing in here though, even with the door shut. So much so, my hand is actually starting to hurt from typing. Seems strange.
I still can't think straight. I do wanna say though it's getting old seeing John Kerry commercials talking about he served in Vietnam. Just because you served in the military doesn't mean you're gonna make a good president. And as for patriotism, sure, being a patriot is great if you're a president and all, but I really don't care how much of a patriot you are either. This country doesn't need a patriot, it needs a leader.
My arm is really bothering me... Might be carpul tunnel.. or however you wish to spell that. Today is going to be ... indifferent. Nothing has happened yet this morning to convince me it'll be particularly bad. Good days are hard to come by, though.

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Monday, October 11, 2004

Uhm. Hm.
A lot of people visited my site today ... [raises an eyebrow] Uhm. Must of been the new fanart I posted.
Nothing great happened today. Not that it ever does. I started a YGO quiz on Quizilla. Worked on it for like.. 4.. 4 1/2 hours... it's still not done. It's gonna be... eh, tedious work. I put 16 or so possible results. Now why did I do that to myself...?
Tomorrow I'll be back in school... I'm not looking forward to the socializing that I'll be forced to confront. But like I've said before, I'm not gonna tell people off if they want to talk. I'm not in a position to be making enemies. [twitch]
I can't think of anything else to write. I've lost focus... and it's very irritating. It only happens when I converse with this one person.. who I haven't talked to in several months because they betrayed me. I won't get into detail but Cim got me to talk to them again and now I'm going mad. Nothing new, but, the process has been... accelerated..
I have a good idea for a quiz ... Which Astrological House Do You Belong In? Yes. That would be a good one. I know where I'd fall. The 12th. I think it's cursed... I don't know how all my personal planets ended up in there. It surely is a self-defeating place to dwell... Blech.

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Bad morning...
I got up relatively late. It was almost 8, not that it was a big deal since I have the day off. I went and took my shower and all that jazz. Right when I got out I decided to clean the bathroom since I needed to do it anyway. Well, cleaning the shower is a pain because the showerhead doesn't come off the wall. Cheap, I know. When I was cleaning the sink, the washrag got caught and I ripped the silver ring that's around the plug off. Great. Can't wait to see what Pim says when he gets home. Then when I bent over to look under the sink to check if it was leaking because of that, I hit my head on the corner of the wooden cabinet. Why the hell did Pim put that there again?!
Funny, though. Even though I was muttering curses to myself all morning, I'm in a fairly decent mood. I fed Patch this morning and cut up his half of a hotdog and put his medicine in it. Uncooked hotdogs are pretty gross to play with. Oh yeah, the medicine is for his back. He has arthritis and yesterday he fell off Rachel's bed. Poor Patch, Cim and Pim took him to the vet and he was really stiff yesterday. He's doing a lot better today but I'm sure it still hurts.
I have my own little agenda to do today. I have to finish my morning routine still and then fix my hair so it doesn't dry a frizzball. I have to dry the dishes for Cim while she's gone, I have to clean Ben's bathroom [I'm dreading that. It's gotten so dirty before, I've gagged and nearly lost my lunch, it's gotten that bad.] and, of course, my trip to Hobby Lobby. I was supposed to have the day off to work on my Malik doll! Hopefully I'll have most of his clothes done today. I also wanna sew on the button eyes.. so it doesn't look so much like a voodoo doll. By the way, the button eyes are lilac colored, so don't think I was being cheap by just using any old buttons. I decided to do the button eyes though because if I tried anything else, I'd be more likely to mess up. The smallest mess up and I'd find the whole thing ruined. So, since I've never done this before, I decided to do the simplest, easy thing. Besides, button eyes are cute. I don't know if I'll do the kohl, eye-liner stuff though. I don't know how I could pull that off... Unless I manually drew it on there with a fabric marker. But like I said, if I messed up there's no way I could fix it, and then the whole thing would be ruined. I'd get pretty mad about that. Seems I have no mercy on myself for error.

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Sunday, October 10, 2004

Uh, Voodoo Malik ...
Since people wanted to see I took a picture of the doll so far. It's just ... a doll body. Tomorrow I'm going to Hobby Lobby to get some material that got stolen [somebody took the chain for his cape ...] and some that.. I just didn't get.
Here's the doll body

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My Malik Voodoo Doll
Well, I made my doll today. At least the body, I still have to dress it, sew on the button eyes and give him hair, but it looks like a voodoo doll. [arches eyebrow] Nice. I'm very proud of it though. Whether it looks the way I wanted it to or not, it looks better than some of the fan-made dolls I've seen online. For anyone who's curious, he'll be sporting Yami no Malik's favorite attire: a silk, purple cape, cotton khaki pants and a silk muscle shirt. I even have something to make his gold bands with. And a belt for his pants too. It'll be interesting to see how it comes out in the end.

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Conspiracy ... theory..
I got up at 7 to watch Beyblade like I do every weekend morning, even though I've been awake since 3, which is just routine. Well, I didn't hear once ABC Family announce that they were replacing Beyblade with Power Rangers this morning. [mumble] Can't believe I got up for this crap...
On another note, my fan fic is progressing quite nicely. I still don't know in which direction it's going, but, at least it's somewhat interesting so far. Because it's in first person, there's a lot of stuff you don't know, which I find makes it very intriguing.
I was munching on Reese Bites yesterday. I noticed it really doesn't have that much sugar in it. 16 pieces only has 20 grams. Most candies have 20+ in one piece. [shrug]
A persistant somebody is still trying to get me to talk to them. When I felt that they betrayed me I cut myself off completely... but unfortunetly they got a hold of Rachel and talk to her and send messages through her to me. I've come close to sending them an e-mail for a decent explaination of why they won't leave me alone, but then I feel like I'm giving in. I will not yield.
I'm downloading some Naruto episodes in order to make a music video with some of my eurodance songs. They're great.. the songs I mean. The Naruto episodes are in the process of downloading still. Might go faster if people were smart enough to put them into .zip files. [rolls eyes] Oh well, the longest one right now is going to take approximately ... 30 hours. Well. The other two aren't quite that bad .. That sucks. One was only gonna take about a half an hour then it shot up to 4. Wonder what happened. [blink]
I think I might have touched on this a while ago, but.. I went back and read a little about it in my Astrology book. I only have one. They're $20 each and it's not like I ever even have $5. Anyway. I got most of my knowledge on Astrology online. So, I went and read about placements in Houses. My two dominant Houses are the 10th [House of Career and Public Standing, according to Joanna Martine Woolfolk] and the 12th [House of Secrets, Sorrows and Self-Undoing]. I do recall having written this up before. Well. I don't remember exactly what I wrote, so I'll keep going on my own little track. For those of you who know little to nothing about Astrology, it really is more complex than just your Sun//Star sign. If you looked at a birth chart, here, I'll show you mine.
Click here to see.
I'd of shown an easier one to read, this one's a little tough, but the other one was bigger and I'm running out of storage space on my personal site. So, click there and see if you can read that. I doubt most of you can. I can read it for the most part. I'm not as knowledgeable about the particular effects certain aspects can have [trine, sextile, square] but I know which ones are stressful, neutral or not stressful [they don't like using the terms "good" or "bad" because there is no "good" or "bad" influence, just stressful and difficult or stressless and easy. Let me analyze this for you before you think, why can't they just call it bad and good? Well, stressless and easy makes it, well, an easy situation. For those who have too many of those in their chart, they'll tend to be very lazy and get nothing accomplished, like having no self-discapline. That is why there is no "good" or "bad", because in the big picture, stressful can be good or bad, stressless can also be good or bad. Hope you're following.] I can take what I know about the planets and aspects and compare them and come up with an educated guess, but I've read about studies that show certain signs to mean certain things. For example, one that I remember somewhat clearly, I believe it was... Sun in a stressful aspect to the Moon. The Moon represents emotional and nurturing nature, and it also symbolizes the mother in everyone. There was a stressful aspect with my Moon, again I think it was the Sun but I'm not sure, and it said that my mother might be jealous of me [I don't see why Cim would be but I'm just telling you what I read] and will act accordingly. That's just an example though. Sure, you can come up with that on your own if you analyzed the aspect enough. Sometimes it's better to go out and find the information though rather than come up with it on your own, because sometimes we slip up and miss something that could be important. I wasn't considering when I looked at the aspect that it would have anything to do with my mom, even though I know the Moon represents the mother. Anyway. That's way off subject of what I meant to talk about. Learn something new everyday, huh. What I wanted to say was, I have my personal planets... Ok well. [scratches head] Trying to talk about such a complex subject takes a long time because when most people don't know anything about it ... [rolls eyes] you can't just rant on about it and expect people to follow you. So, let me say this, your Sun, Moon and Mercury are your personal planets and are considered to be the most important and influential. Your Ascendant or Rising Sign is also in that personal planets category, some Astrologers consider it the most important influence in your chart. Now, your Ascendant is not a planet. It's the sign that was on the horizon at the time of your birth and is located in the First House. To summerize it quickly, your Ascendant is basically your personality and how you come across to others, it also influences your physical appearance and your health [something I can vouch for]. So, anyway. My personal planets are all in the 12th House [look at the chart, it should be labeled. If not, it should be between Aquarius and Pisces... the 12th House rules over Pisces, by the way.] which makes the 12th House is very large influence on my chart.
Need a new paragraph... I'd like to mention, to those who aren't informed, Mars and Venus are considered relationship planets. Mars, also however, represents energy. In the 10th House is my Mars, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune. Jupiter fell into the 2nd House. Poor Jupiter. Anyway, so, even though Saturn, Uranus and Neptune are considered to be more minor influences, they're all located in the 10th House with my Mars, making the 10th House also a large influence.
I'm done bantering, although I never actually got to my whole point in all that ... Oh well. Maybe later.

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Saturday, October 9, 2004

the Palace
I've decided I'm going to start going to Palace again. If you don't know what that is, it's a visual chat. With avaters and stuff. If you're interested in downloading it, go here: http://practice.chatserve.com/. It will be interesting to see how it is after not having gone for about 2 years.

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Amusing enough
Kamiko read my fanfiction I started and got spooked. That's pretty great. I have to say it's a strange little story but it's interesting. I'll post it on my site once it's done and put the link up here. For anyone who wants a sample of it, you can PM me and I'll give you what I have. I could use somemore opinions.

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Friday, October 8, 2004

Inquiries will take you far ...
Pim was a jerk and had to ask why I interpretted something the way I did. Maybe just because that the way I am. So we had to sit down and discuss it which got us no where. Then I went upstairs to see Cim in a skirt she got from Kathleen who was in Israel for a while. It's so pretty. Then we heard Rachel stomping up the stairs after arguing with Pim. Cim said she wished there wasn't so much fighting in this house, I told her Pim doesn't help much by the things he says and does. Then Rachel argues about everything and doesn't listen ever. I asked Cim if Ben was ever like that and she said yeah but he knew when to quit. Then I asked her if I was ever like that and she said I never argued. [I never realized until now how different from Ben and Rachel I've always been...] Then Cim had to go scold Rachel for calling Pim names behind his back. When she got downstairs I asked if I could make a suggestion. "Sure." I told her she needs to be more strict on punishment, because I know for a fact, if Ben or I had ever done what she does, we'd get whipped or grounded with the snap of a finger. Cim agreed that it was true. Why won't they inforce it then?? I told Cim Rachel's kind of the juvenile delinquent and she got all upset, "Don't say things like that! Don't put words like that upon us." and all that crazy stuff like I just put a curse on us all. I know she's worried that they'll have problems with Rachel when she's a teenager, I asked her and she said she hoped not, but judging from the appearance on her face, I know she's doubtful. Sad. Glad I won't be in the house when it crumbles to the ground, in a matter of speaking.

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New Fanfic
I'm starting a new Yu-Gi-Oh! fanfic which is coming out to be kinda... off the wall. Strange. I'm just going with the flow. But it's interesting and I've had to put some research into it. I don't know when it'll be done though.

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