Tuesday, September 28, 2004

   Fresh Air Anybody?
Like any typical Aquarian, I need my fresh air too. I spent about an hour outside. It's so gorgeous. 71*F, north winds at 12MPH. I played with Patch in the backyard 'til he decided barking at the neighbors was a lot more fun. Thanks Patch, I love you too. [rolls eyes]
I sometimes wish people wouldn't say things so loosely. A lot of people will say things and they just say them because they think it was true or wish it was true. I put everything at upfront quality. I say what I mean and I mean what I say. If I tell you I'm good at something, I am, if I say I'm bad at something, I can guarentee you I suck at it. Yet sometimes living in the logicality of my mind is a sad thing. Intuition mixed with logic doesn't normally come out very good, but it seems I can find a logical reasoning for even the most unlogical human behavior. Usually it only makes sense in my head though. [shrug]
The seaweed I mentioned earlier is good. It's like spinach chips. It's very salty. But it's good. And sugar free. Double plus ... I guess.

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   Complaints
Ok, so, I'm sitting there enjoying my cheese pizza... sorta.. 'cept for the two people in the room who're bugging me because they're there, then one of them is a complete ninkompoop and has to start something. "Oh! Will you make milkshakes tonight?" Rachel asks. "I don't know, maybe you should wait another day, I don't want you getting another stomache ache." Rachel cries whenever she's hurting just the smidgiest bit. A big cry baby. And she's like, "Aww but I want milkshakes." I was like, "Ok, how about this. You make milkshakes tonight but if she gets a stomache ache you make her go to school anyway." "Gosh Rebekka you're such a jerk." "No, you're the one who wants the milkshakes." "How would you like to be sent to school feeling miserable?!" "You know what? I've been living off 3 hours of sleep, you don't think I don't feel miserable? But you didn't hear me complaining!" That shut her up real fast. The last thing she said isn't even worth repeating because it's a self-defeating comment. [rolls eyes] Ever heard that phrase, "I'm surrounded by idiots" ? Well, that's how I feel right now.

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   Not this again . . .
Does it never cease to sadden one how graphic novels, manga, are beginning to be created by those who lack Japanese background? It seems to rob the culture of its inheritance.
None the less, I have come up with an original name and plot that I'm hoping to turn into a graphic novel, but I refuse to ever call it a manga because I feel that would be wrong. Here's a little summary I wrote up so far about it.

Kokoro no Hogosha Matataku
When an ancient porclein statue disappears from the small village that had protected it for thousands of years, an orphan boy from the village will be sent to find it.
His troubles will be over when he finds he can see the spirit of the statue, or so he thinks. When he goes to tell the leader of the village, he discovers he is the only one who can see the spirit, and is sent away to find the porclein statue.
A rival village is said to have stolen the statue, but do they really have it? What really happened to the statue and will the orphan boy manage to recover it so that he may return home?
Matataku is a Kokoro no Hogosha [guardian spirit] of the peace and well-being of the age old village. Matataku means "glisten". The village depended on the Kokoro no Hogosha to provide plentiful rain and a bountiful harvest. The shrine of the village [dedicated to Matataku] was visited daily by the head of the village, the Shidôsha, in order to pray for a blessing from the Hogosha.

I've yet to decide what the main character's name will even be, but I want a character named Cherubino in there for sure. It's the name of a pageboy from Le Nozze di Figaro, the Marriage of Figaro, one of Mozart's most famous works. The way the name sounds is just great, which is why I'm gonna make someone have the honor of holding such a name. The main character of the story is going to be a very serious person, and I guess down the road he can meet someone to tag along with him and Matataku. Probably someone from a neighboring village sent to aid in finding the statue. That's all my ideas for now.
You know, earlier Patrick got upset with me when we were talking about vegetarianism and all sorts of statistics he's found. When he couldn't find anything else to say, he goes, "You're supposed to be on my side!!" Such an Arien thing to say. I told him that I don't take sides and analyze both sides fairly. I have to say, the arguement for the "meat side" is winning the debate. Even though, supposedly, 80% of our grains are used to feed our meat farms or whatever you'd rather call them, they wouldn't be very good to use to feed all the people starving. Sure, it'd be better than nothing, but if we used the meat that gets wasted and spoiled every year instead, the hungry would get better quality meals. Even if we didn't use the grain to feed the cattle on meat farms, I don't see us giving it to the poor. If we would do that, we'd be giving them the meat that we have right now, wouldn't we?

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   Ugh ...
Right, so I come home starving and search desporately for something I can put in my stomache. There is nothing in the pantry nor the fridge which I can eat! I can't even have a bowl of cereal unless I wanna risk dying from whatever it was that happened on Friday! Heaven forebid things be easy for a change. I settled for the bag of sugar-free Animal Crackers. Not much of a lunch but it's keeping me from starving.
Patrick bought me some dried seaweed from the Japanese store down the road, I can't wait to try it. I'd like to go there and see what else they might have. Sushi would be good. I like fish. Especially orange ruffey fillets. Unfortunetly, fish is expensive. Always something, huh.
I got a 98% on the ADV. Government test. I got points taken off for something I never thought I would get points taken off for. Something about courts trade ?
I'm now sick of these animal crackers ... I'm ready to try that seaweed. However, I'm pondering the possibility of making a comic after Natalie made the suggestion. I'm actually considering it. It'd be neat, if I only had the comic layout papers... I don't have any money to get them but just one I could copy using my scanner and printer. That would save me money. Then again what money do I have to save ?
You know, for the first time ever, I got a note in class. Natalie wrote to me and asked if I read manga and everything. That was the first note I've ever gotten in my life.. except a stupid prank note I got in freshman year. That was mean... but I won't get into that.
I don't know what else to write about. I have some reading I need to do for homework, so I'll probably go do that now ... or something. I'll probably do it later.
Oh yes, in first period today a bee came flying in the window. I'm petrified of bees. I have a bad history with things that sting. When I was a little girl and we lived in Germany, there was a dead something or another, bee or wasp, on the swing on the backyard and I sat on it [I was a dumb little kid]. I can still remember crying.. and the onion ... [shudder]. So, I asked to go to the restroom, haha, just to get out of the classroom. Some of the dumb people in the class pissed the bee off so it was on a rampage, which is when I asked to go to the restroom. When I got back it was dead, thank God. He has spared me.
But you know, other than having a pounding headache, even with only 3 hours of sleep, I feel alright. I'd probably fall asleep if given the chance but I'm trying not to give myself the chance or I'll want to sleep until 3 tomorrow morning, and well, that wouldn't be very good. What's all this taught me ? ...Something I already knew. Life just sucks ... and for no particular reason at all.

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   Somebody please kill me now ...
I went to bed at 10. 9:45. Something like that. I woke up at 1. I haven't slept since. Today is going to be very miserable. I am not looking forward to a 21 hour day. I might have to sleep during class but I've never fallen asleep in any class ever, even with my insomnia history. Argh, life sucks. I always thought things happen for a reason, maybe this is God's way of punishing me for something I did ?
Another homocide victim was found last night at midnight ... Tech. The people around here are barbaric. Why'd we have to move here? I dunno if I should worry about a random person climbing in through my window and deciding they don't like me because I sleep on my stomache and then brutally murder me. It's probably more dangerous up in Cincinnatti than down here but you never knew with these hillbillies. They're everywhere.
I'm still going back to the thought of how much school is going to suck. I might have a hard time keeping my eyes open. Maybe there's something I can bring to at least keep myself awake if I can't pay attention to the lesson. Why do I have to struggle with everything so ? No mercy, I tell you. It'd be easier if I just didn't go to school but I'll probably need my sick days for later this year.
Oh blah, they've already got a Halloween fundraising event planning for the 15th. I hate Halloween. It's so ... pointless. And all the candy lying around will taunt me to come eat it, and if I do I'll get sick as a dog. Why can't they let Halloween alone? It's not really a holiday at all ! So ridiculous.
Great news ! Dallas Cowboys won 21-18! I love the Cowboys, they make me think of home. I wanted a Cowboys jersey while we were visiting in Texas but since it was the beginning of football season they were $40-some. I'm not paying $40-some for a football jersey. I can wait til they sell 'em for $5. Heck, at JCPenney they sold me my Bengels jersey to me for $5! It pays to wait.

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Monday, September 27, 2004

   Last entry for the day.
I can't decide. Go to bed at 10 and wake up at 3 and be up the rest of the night, go to bed at 11 and wake up at 4 and be up the rest of the night, go to bed at 12 and wake up at 5... I can't stay up that late. It's been a 17 hour day, I'm pretty exhausted.
I was looking through some Yami no Malik images after Kamiko was saying how smart he is [she doesn't watch Yu-Gi-Oh! much but happened to see an episode today] and he's really ... he needs to get a grip. When you can't keep your tongue in your mouth anymore and it's just hanging there limply it's kind of a good sign you need help. Though, if given the oppurtunity, I'd agree to be his accomplice. I wish I could, it'd be very interesting. To be part of a big plan. With a purpose.
When I was watching today's episode on CN though, I realize how big of a chicken-boy Yugi really is. Worried that Seto would let himself fall off the castle if Yugi attacked? Seto's not stupid. He'd find a way out because he knows he's the only one who could save Mokuba. Yugi's so gullible, Seto knew he wouldn't attack and I guess knew Yugi wasn't smart enough to realize Seto wouldn't actually let himself fall. [sigh] How pathetic.
Looks like my other fan art has been posted. I really don't have anything else to post. I really only doodle anymore in my notebook rather than actually draw. Oh yes and I put a bagillion more quizzes in my quiz manager. What a sad life... Living just because you have to. Having a bigger goal in mind that I can work toward would be nice, but everything I plan is still so far away, it's like it's not there at all. How can one go on lacking the inspiration to keep living ? If I saw some episodes of Yami no Malik or Yami no Bakura I'm sure they'd inspire me again, but CN is stuck on those Duelist Kingdom episodes, and the only person you see there amongst the two is Ryu mostly. Yami no Bakura hasn't really appeared much ... or at all even. If he has I missed those episodes.
Uhm. I don't have much else to say ... but I have nothing to do.. If I just sit here and stare at the ceiling like I do so often I'll just fall asleep.
Oh. This week should be short. Without a Monday it always is. Oh, I was thinking earlier how I've never written any true confessions down on paper before. Not in any diary, journal or anything I've ever owned. Kind of defeats the purpose, doesn't it. Oh well.

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   "I think he [Kerry] can spend 90 minutes debating himself."
I watched the Bush rally I wanted to attend. 50,000 people. I couldn't be in a crowd that big, especially if only expecting 30,000. It was a half an hour away but we would have had to leave at 12:30 and Bush didn't speak until 4:30 or so. What a long time to wait, huh.
I submitted more fan art, in case I haven't mentioned. I ... don't remember what all I submitted. There was an original.. and a Gundam SEED.. and I think that was it. Guess we'll see once it's been reviewed.
Bush mentioned the social security issues. We discussed them in Government class Wednesday or Thursday. I worry now. I shouldn't have to think that far ahead, but it is a growing concern. Maybe if I'm lucky I won't live to be old enough to have to depend on social security.. or even retire I guess. I don't think I'd want to live that long. People who want to live to be 100 ... I don't understand them. This world isn't so great that I'd want to spend 100 years on it ... But, some people have a reason or something to prove I guess. I have nothing to prove. I live merely because I have to pretty much. Depressing, isn't it?

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   Don't stop now...
You'd think after 4 posts I'd be done, wouldn't you.
Today's my one week anneversary as a member of theOtaku.com. So to celebrate, I ate 4 sugar-free chocolate truffles [they were good too] and am having a diet Coke. That's my idea of celebrating.

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   Uhm, early ...
My Shonen Jump came today. It's more than a week early... I don't mind but I find it kind of odd. The Yu-Gi-Oh! "episode" was great. The only other one I read though was the Yuu Yuu Hakusho. I need to read last month's Hikaru no Go before I read this month's. Actually, I don't think I read the month before last's Hikaru no Go either ...
Well, I deeply regret whatever I ingested today that has made me sick. It was either the Milk Chocolate [not chocolate milk cause it's made with water. That's ... so clever.] or the chicken pot pie. I'd go finish doing my chores but I'm obviously not feeling up to it.
I saw an advertisement for an Inuyasha RPG in Shonen Jump called "The Secret of the Cursed Mask" where you get to play as an original male or female character. I don't know how I'd ever buy it though. I never have money.
On a plus side, I went to the store today with Cim and got some sugar free vanilla ice cream and some sugar free chocolate. And.. some kind of diebetic cake mix... I should have grabbed some chocolate syrup while I was at it. Tch.

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   Ranting . . .
Ok, I decided to quit being a vegetarian as a favor to my parents. Pim keeps getting annoyed that I won't eat meat and Cim is always complaining about how expensive soy meat is. [shrug] Oh well. I'll eat it conservatively. I never was a big meat fan anyway.
Moving on. I re-submitted my drawing of Pharoah Atem. I put in the original and blurred it a bit to blend the colors better. I miss my PSP program but after my computer crashed there's no way of getting it back. I don't even remember how I got it to begin with. Microsoft PhotoDraw is great and all but it's not good for editting ... Ah.
Rachel was complaining that Cim wouldn't take her to the mall. I snapped on her when she said that Cim takes me places all the time. Where the hell has she been? Rachel goes to the YMCA at least once a week. If I want to go somewhere, Cim usually won't take me because she has to help Rachel with her school work. If Cim didn't help Rachel with her school work, which she is obviously not smart enough to do on her own, she wouldn't be getting A's. Rachel is such an ungrateful, spoiled, little brat, and she's getting on my last nerve. She obviously has no need for an online journal to tell everyone how unfair she is treated because the whole world already knows. I bet she'd find a way to get it put on the news if she was old enough. [rolls eyes]
I made my CAD project. It.. didn't quite turn out the way I made the sketch but ... then again, nothing ever does. I still don't think it'll keep a raw egg safe from a 28 foot drop though.

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