Saturday, November 13, 2004

Underhandedly Sneaky...
Well, my plans didn't work out. I came home early yesterday because the cough syrup I took made me sick. But today I'm going to Barnes and Noble to buy Penny one of these adorable little stuffed toys for her birthday. I want to get one for Brittney but I don't know what she'd like. ^_^;; So after I get a chance to ask her, I'll go back to get one for Brittney. While I'm there though [snicker] I'm gonna get my Zodiac book. Cim will never know. And if she asks for the money I didn't spend back I'm gonna ask to just keep it since I'll be going back sometime soon to get Brittney and Eric's presents. Then, I'm gonna buy something at school and I'll ask for a couple more bucks cause I used some of the money at school, so then I'll have enough money to buy something decent for both Brittney and Eric. All I really need is an idea of what sort of stuffed toy Brittney would want. I'm thinking I might get her this Harry Potter thing I saw there that was only $5. Then I wouldn't have to worry about not having enough money for all three of them to pay for tax cause I'd have like $10 left for tax paying. I kill myself sometimes. [shakes head]

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Friday, November 12, 2004

Plans
I talked to Brittney online yesterday and we decided we'd go to the mall this afternoon, go see a movie and then she'd spend the night at my house. I hope this goes off well.. I don't usually like people spending the night at my house. Guess we'll see. We're supposed to meet at like 5? I don't know how or where though, heh.
While we're at the mall I plan to get the Dark Side of Astrology book. Since I ordered that watch instead the other week so Cim wouldn't throw a freakin' fit [rolls eyes] ... I plan to not let her see that I have it. If I find this other book called A-Z Horoscope Maker by Llewellyn George then I'll probably get that instead though. Depends though.
My cough is still murderously persistant and I'm really tired. So I'm gonna go now.

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Thursday, November 11, 2004

Odd Day..
Well. The most surprising thing today was that at the end of 3rd, Natalie came over to talk to me but San was with her, chatting and everything. I just listened and then he asked me if the scarf I was wearing had cows on it, and yeah it does, he said that was awesome and I was like "eheh..." Everybody loves my scarf ... Then me and Natalie went to her locker as usual and she sort of nudged me she was like "San's nice, don't you think?" I was like "Uh, sure." I knew where that was going. Luckily the subject dropped real fast when Alyssa nearly tackled me and I was just like "!!!" reaction. Then I somehow met San again on my way to the back doors and we sort of talked a little. He had little weapon things talking in his backpack that he had used for a Latin project. Josh came over and asked if I knew where Ben was and I was like "I have no idea.." Brittany was able to tell him though. I gave Brittany my screen name and ... yeah that's about it. Like I said, strange day.

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Ooo. Pissy.
Ok, I've been awake all night. I glanced at the clock like every 10-20 minutes, ALL NIGHT. I wanted to drive to piano so bad today! Finally getting to drive alone! But NO. I had to have a bad night and I told Cim to cancel piano. I'm gonna have a hard time getting into the swing at school today.
As for the boyfriend thing, haha, I read DeathT-2's comment. I wouldn't go out with Seto just cause he's an asshole among asses [don't take that offensively, you can't tell me you don't think he's a complete jerk]. But since he'll never materialize in this plane of reality... Might not bother to wait for him. I don't see how people fall in love. I just don't. Even anime characters don't really appeal to me... Guess I'm just super cold. Hah, in that Darkside of the Zodiac book I'm gonna buy I read up about Aquarius with Pisces Rising and all it said was "Cold fish." Hahah. All it says in there about Aquarius is how much of a self-centered, heartless jerk Aquarius is and it says how they're really loners and all that jazz. I was like huh. Guess it's not so unusual for me to always being going solo. That might not be happening for long though. I'm thinking about trying the whole boyfriend thing just to be opened-minded. Just for the experience, just to be able to identify a little more with others. How can you counsel someone if you can't even identify with them? Sure, you can counsel, but it really helps a lot more if you know what it is they're talking about, right? But I don't know. Dating is pointless when you're not planning to get married. While I still very much want my own children [adopted, obviously] I don't want to be so attached to be vulnerable to anyone [I've always had this extreme defense machenism, I don't know why] so staying away is just to keep me safe.
Well, I must be going. I've started coughing as if I have bronchitis again. Egh.. I never get a break...

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Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Hm.
Well. Natalie asked me today if I still wasn't up for having a boyfriend and I was just like "Um .... [arches eyebrow] why?" She said she has a lot of quiet friends that want a girlfriend and that she got to thinking. I was like "Uh oh.." Found out Joey got in a wreck and broke his collar bone. And Sara, well, cheated on him sort of. She broke up with him. I feel so sorry for him. He's really nice! I feel so bad for him. [frown]
Found out Ben's officially going out with Hannah. I was .. surprised. Honestly. I was talking to Brittany about it and I was like "Yeah, it's not fair. Hannah's so pretty, I'm jealous." And she was like "Aww but I think you're adorable!" I was like, "Heh thanks, can't say that I agree but.." "Nobody ever think they're pretty." "Yeah, it's like an unwritten law or something." She wants me to go get an industrial piercing or whatever in my upper ear. I said I would if I was allowed, I wanted one a while ago but never got one. She said her grandma could take us so I said if I was allowed I'd go with her. She's really excited now.
I need a present for Penny and Eric. Both their birthdays are coming up and I don't know what to get. I'll probably go to the mall this weekend to find something. Gah. Least I'll have something to do.

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Tuesday, November 9, 2004

Bad With Names
Haha oops. Jordan is actually a Josh, I don't know how I mixed the two up. Anyway, I've come to realize Natalie is a lot of talk. Just like most people I know. It's sort of a disappointment, but in this case I'm relieved. She hasn't said anything about the Senior Dinner Dance or her friend so I'm assuming I'm in the clear. Whew.

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Corrupted
Ok, it's official. My mind has been corrupted... and by two of those who I'd considered my closest .... How betrayed do I feel? Kamiko not so much as the other, whose name I won't mention. Kamiko just flaps her jaw in good humour [and she flapped it a lot last night, oh my gosh]. The other was just ... perverted to the extreme. She had Scorpio Rising, which made her very obvious about her sexual fantasies and.. [shudder]. God, why'd you let this happen? [sigh] I'd never had a tainted thought in my life before I met that girl and now I'm permanently scarred. Maybe that's one of the reasons I avoid having anything to do with a personal romantic relationship, I don't like all that stuff and I don't want to have anything to do with it. I hope Natalie doesn't tell her friend about anything .... If she brings it up today I'm going to plea her with to reason. Reason differently at least. I couldn't go to the dinner dance with anybody, I couldn't go to any dinner dance with anybody, and I don't want to be in a position where somebody might actually like me like that! That's why not meeting people to begin with is safer, if nobody knows you they can't justifiabley like you. And even if they did, they'd never approach you... Man how'd I get into this situation again? Oh yeah, I spent too much time thinking on my answer. Why did I know that someday would bite me in the ass? Man!! I'm so upset now. Curses.

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Monday, November 8, 2004

Cross your fingers, hold your breath and say a prayer.
I screwed up big time! I'm so stupid, gah! Natalie was telling me about how she's looking forward to going to the Senior Dinner Dance and I was like "That'll be cool." And she was like yeah, I can't wait. She misunderstood something I said and I cleared it up and she thought I said I was going. I told her I didn't really do those kind of things and she asked why not. I explained that no one ever invites me to those kind of things and... She started to tell me about a friend she has who just broke up with his girlfriend and she won't go with him, so she asked me if I'd go if someone asked me and I was just kind of like I don't know ... uhh... trying to come up with a good answer. Before one came she started skipping away, "Ok well I have to go talk to some people!" She looked as guilty as a kid with his hand in the cookie jar, I have a bad feeling she went to talk to her friend. I wanted to slam my head against my locker when I got there. There wasn't anyone around either, so I don't know why I didn't. [sigh] And even if she did introduce us I seriously don't think he would like going with me, I'm just not the type of person guys like. I'm ... just not... argghh. How do I make such an idiot of myself?!

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Monday Morning...
Well. For once the alarm clock actually woke me up. Guess that means I slept pretty good, even though I did wake up last night. Must of not stayed awake for very long though. [yawn] I still feel very sick though. I'm pretty achey and still congested and coughing as much as I am is really wearing me down. I could go for a milkshake this morning though.. Don't have time to make one and don't have the ice cream to make one either.
Ohh I wonder about today. I watched Alexander the Great last night on History. I couldn't finish all of it though cause it ended at 11. I was too tired to continue watching at 10. I'll finish it next time they show it. I'd been looking forward to it for 2 weeks now too! And I couldn't even finish it. Well. It started at 8, so that's still 2 hours of a 3 hour movie.
You know, I feel so dumb. I've been studying Astrology for a long time now and I know so much about it and I didn't realize 'til recently that I'm on the Aquarius//Pisces cusp. [shakes head at self] That's sad. Guess it was just something I overlooked, but it does explain a lot why Pisces has such an influence on me even with Pisces Rising. I do wish I could personally talk to a proffessional Astrologer though just to talk about Astrology with and ask some questions and stuff. Like, when you use exaltation and fall, like having Aquarius in Sun gives you a fall, because Aquarius is the polar opposite of Leo [the Sun rules over Leo], making Aquarius Sun a lesser influence on you. If you're born on the Aquarius//Pisces cusp or even the Capricorn//Aquarius cusp, does that give Capricorn or Pisces a greater influence on you ? I need to stop thinking before I hurt myself~ ...

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Sunday, November 7, 2004

Milkshake and Muffins for Breakfast
That would make a great book title. I'm watching a movie right now. It's cute, it's called The Pebble and the Penguin.
I woke up thinking of everything I need to do today and got so stressed out I decided to do nothing. That's how I deal with stress. Hey it works.
Well Pim just called me down for like an hour and I missed most of my movie. [sigh] Everything is always according to his watch. It sometimes gets annoying. Oh well. Nothing left to say.

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