Thursday, September 30, 2004

   Wow.. I did it.
Today was the first day I ate meat since February or so. I figured out why I lost the inspiration to be a vegetarian. Patrick is too outspoken and pushy about being a vegetarian now, and being an Aquarius, I hate people trying to push their beliefs on me, so I rebel. And that's what I did. I rebelled. Besides, with the medicine I'm taking and my very limited intake of food, I need something to get nutrients from. I can't eat that much dairy unless I wanna ingest 6 lactose pills a day [yeah right].
Aahh, life is tough sometimes.. No, it's tough always. I never get a break, it seems. Everything, every little thing, becomes a chore, and I eventually get emotionally ill because of it. Being caged up is not good for any Aquarian, and that's exactly what I am, caged up. By everything. By my parents, by my health, by myself even ! I can't run away from any of it, not even from myself. Which is the worst part because, well, I have to live with myself [haha, that sucks the most]. Once I get to Texas though, it'll all change. I'll be living by myself, alone, finally. Free to go out when I want and free of the pressure I feel, because as soon as I'm gone, I refuse to allow my parents to have any authority over me. Not to say I'm gonna go do wreckless, stupid things, I'm far too cautious for that, which is why I don't understand why I'm held on such a tight leash all the time, it practically chokes me. I've made it this far, surely I can make it less than a year and a half longer.
Speaking of which, senior pictures are this summer. I don't want senior pictures... I hate pictures. What's worse is buying the pictures. The only people getting any are those who my parents send them to [because I don't get a say in it]. Typical.

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