Sunday, February 27, 2005

Your thoughts betray you. Your fears will be your downfall.
I was watching Digimon this morning, it was the episode where Culumon and Beezlemon [eh did I spell that right?] get inside the D-Reaper where Juri is. Juri reminds me of me ... but, unlike me, Juri has people around her who love her and will do anything for her. Who're always thinking about her and.. well, Culumon was like, "Aw Juri, I wish you knew how much we love you." It's sort of haunting me...
Anyway, apparently 3 days wasn't enough to recover. I think I've gone into a relapse cause.. my lymph nodes are so swollen, I was trying to look at something on my shoulder but had to stop cause it was hurting my neck where my lymph nodes are. That has never happened before.
I got my Evanescence "hoodie" yesterday. What a lame excuse for a hoodie it is. I paid $22 for something that isn't gonna keep me warm worth shit. No wonder it was relatively inexpensive. I'm disappointed but not really angry. It's wierd.. I can sound like I'm angry or upset but hardly ever actually feel it. Emptiness much.
I think I'm going through a hypomanic phase right now. I've only slept for 3 hours the past 3 nights and I've got the racing thoughts thing going on. I'm concerned about my Algebra III grade and how I'm gonna bring it up. My last attempt will be to ask if I can sit in during first period, so I'll be hearing the lesson twice, maybe then it'll be better. That's the plan.. I have to ask permission from my painting teacher and math teacher first though. That's what I plan to do tomorrow but.. I don't know how up I am to do it. Feeling the way I still am. I don't even know if I want to go to school... I got up earlier and nearly fell cause I'm so congested. I'd hate to calapse in the middle of the hallway in between classes. But I really don't wanna miss anymore school. People say missing school isn't really that big of a deal, but when you're me, it is. Just because I'm not the brightest crayon in the crayon box and when I miss a lesson I just totally get lost. Then again, I think I already am totally lost among the lessons in Chemistry and Algebra III anyway, so what harm will getting lost even more be? That'd be stupid though.. just digging myself into a hole pretty much. Suppose I should mull over what I'm going to do for a while. Not like I haven't done enough of that already though...

Comments (4)