Monday, March 21, 2005

Flawed
I have an obsession with perfection, I'd say almost to the point of being obsessive-compulsive. It's that bad. Today I wrote a note to somebody .. I was so worried about my writing looking perfect for them and folding it perfectly and signing my name perfectly and everything. It's been getting worse ever since I started socializing more, which I think I mentioned before. It's like I feel like people expect me to be perfect, I expect me to be perfect, so I strive so hard for perfection it's psychotic. It will drive me to insanity.
Today Natalie went home early. She felt really bad. She had a fever and really bad cramping and stuff... I felt so bad for her and wanted to help so much but there wasn't much I could do except keep her company while she waited. I stayed in the Art room during second period because we were supposed to go to a drunk driving program for second, I didn't want to go though. I finished my painting. Well, sort of. I need to add a background. Natalie said it looked really good and that I was talented with acrylics. It made me really happy and stuff. I hope she gets online today so I can ask her how she's doing. I hope she'll be there tomorrow. I need guidence in making the background.
I don't have much to say. I really don't want to go to prom.. Natalie really does though. I don't want to disappoint her. Ben got really mad at me this morning. I won't explain why but, Cim said he's been really snappy lately. Nobody knows why, apparently.
I got a migraine in fourth today. What a great way to end the day. Oh well. I hasn't gone away and I don't feel like saying much. I kinda didn't feel like saying anything at all but I have no homework and wanted to do something. So yeah. Tada.
Oh yeah, Ami called me on Sunday. We text now, after like a year of not speaking. She lost her internet but I'm so glad she called. She told me how Ash was doing and stuff and heh.. Yeah. That was fun I guess. It's great how you can't stop thinking about somethings even when it's on your priority list to stop thinking about it ... guess that doesn't make sense either though. [sigh]

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