myOtaku.com: destra

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1989-09-11
Gender
• Female
Location
• Philippines >w<
Member Since
• 2004-05-02
Occupation
• HS student...I'm starting to feel moldy old
Real Name
• just call me Destra, even if my names Gillian o_O

Personal

Achievements
• Kinda blurry...but at least I reached 3rd year...darn it I feel so old already XD
Anime Fan Since
• since I was a kid ^^
Favorite Anime
• Fruits Basket, (so cute) Chobits, ccs, and ragnarok! ^^
Goals
• to live my life properly....a manga artist!!!!!!!! >_> if not a photographer and if not a gamedesigner, if not again.
Hobbies
• drawing...and..uhm dooddling ^^
Talents
• drawing...I guess and just being a plain boring person ^ ^

myOtaku.com: destra

Friday, May 19, 2006

strange
everything is
strange

I lost my passion in drawing. I have not yet started drawing or even doodling for a month and a half now...I cant even write properly...cant even type properly...I tried drawing, sketching, doodling today but all I did was stare at some blank paper and nothing came into mind.

It was like time stopped and my mind ceased. I stayed like that for an hour without letting a single scratch of line on the paper.

Im loosing it.

Ive lost my remaining patience in studying, reading. I havent started reading any of the books that was recommended...not even Hamlet. I can even think Ive lost my reason for living but unfortunately I am scared of death. Suicidal attempts for me are so hard to perform.

Damnation befalls me.

Ive lost my interest for doing the things Ive been doing all these years.

My mind is a complete wreck. Everything is in shambles. I cant think right. My mind wanders to one thought to the other and Im starting to forget things...things that I once thought would be hard to forget. Ive forgotten some of my friends name...or did I even considered them as my friends? hah...at least most of them are male.

...hah...

funny how things are working for me now...

Schools going to start in less than a month and here I am being useless tool that seemed to be discarded suddenly from Gods doll house. What a cruel headache for these thoughts.

So what now?

hah...all I can do is stare at the pictures I made weeks ago. Helpless.

Useless.

Maybe I should just sleep it off, then everything I said will go away...

hah...

Ive had enough sleep...13 hours a day...what crap...I should try drawing again today...hopefully I will get back what I lost.

no...this is not a suicidal note. Thinking of 'that' that crossed my mind made me smile.

BAH! I'll be fine...I feel better already...being a bit vulgar has its rewards...I feel like eating tomights dinner...

every thought is funny
Im starting to lose
my sanity

or maybe not...

haha...Sasuke...he's drop dead gorgeous...He looks better under a tombstone...heh...he looks sexy that way.

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