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Tuesday, August 3, 2004


   The day of moving on
i got up today and knew tht today would suck and be depressing. i got ready and went to the memorial service/funeral thing for Matthew. it ...was plain sad. i read my poem outloud w/out stuttering. there mustve been 200+ people there. it was an open coffin...im glad i looked at him one last time, bc tht sure to god wasnt him.....he is up in the heavens looking down at us, the body was merely a shield to protect the real matt. I will miss him, and i will always remember him. But its time to realize tht mortality is real and tht hold him in remembrance, but do not grieve over him. I have never seen a stronger person other than his mom...I look up to her for tht. well nothing much happened afterwards, we took home brian/mal then just started to pack for our trip 2morrow!

TRIP TOMORROW W/ DEW SISTAH HEATHRES! i cant wait, its gonna be oh so much fun^^

~im not going to post for about 5ish days on the count of me not being here, lol.~

I want to give out special thanks to acouple of people who gave me a shoulder to lean on, or cheered me up during the past few days-

-Heather, thanks for the leaning on the shoulder thing sistah, tht helped me a lot! and u cheered me up 2!^^ the jason species slowly made their way accross the savannah to look for the prey of young women.......errr, water!^^ lol. tyas sistah, mucho love!

-Ramm- thank u soooooooooooooo much, i have never laughed so hard in my life. lol! hurrican kt is going 2 reign terror over..the exact same spot...shes' been at for a week...hurricane jason...just says fck it and stops spinning bc it is to lazy. lol. give some credit to reggie 2 man! CS! hes my hero. lol well luv yas lots!!!!

-To other people- every1 else, yall gave me shoulders to lean on and advice and comfort! TYA TO EVERY1! i love u all!

well, bye now *waves* -kt-

~He is free now, just like the spray of a wave in the ocean...yea just like the spray of a wave in the ocean...~

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whts ure language?


Japanese or Korean What Language Are You?


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   wht anime babe r u?
cute
You are an Anime Cute girl. Nobody really kows you
for your looks, infact not many people do know
you, But if they did they woudl see that you
are a true artist and that your beautiful
artwork is meerly a representation of your
inner beauty.


What Kind of Anime Babe are You?
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   (then 2nd) The day that went by fast
i woke up, i got some much needed rest.. i just laid around the house practically. Wrote a rememberance letter for matt. gonna read my poem below (few changes made to it though) tomorrow at the memorial service. i went to work, and on the way there, i saw a lot of people putting up crosses and flowers where Matt died at. Kinda got hard to drive after seeing tht...:/ i got to work, it went by soo fast, i looked at the clock one time and it said 6:00 then i looked at it and it said 8:15. i dont have to go bak to work till next monday /dances/.

well, tomorrow is going to be heart-wretching....an open coffin, every single soul from brunswick county is going to go, and every1 is going to read something all in remembrance to matthew...but im going to be strong.

~Yes, we all miss him, but just think of where he is now.....laughing down at our tears. Just remember, his spirit is not gone, it comes whenever a laugh is being brought out, or popcorn is flying, or when a soccer player scores a goal and wins a game, Matthew will always be w/ us, in our hearts, 4ever...~

ME AND HEATHER ARE GOING TO THE MOUNTAINS WED-SAT!!!!!!!!! ^^!!! weeee! we gonna terrioze some cave men! MWHA! yay sistah! lol

bye now *waves* -ktz-


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Sunday, August 1, 2004


   A Poem dedicated to Matthew
Goodbye
-Katie-Lu-

This must be a dream,
for it is to unbelieable.
But dreams can't hurt as it seems,
It hurts....right down to the soul.

Clouds, as if stuffed animals,
sent by God himself to say it's alright.
It looks as if one by one we fall,
But you'll stand and walk proud, --if you look towards the light.

A tragedy has struck,
one that many would go crazy over.
It was just a little piece of bad luck,
But now, you will soar.

A rainy night and tired young eyes,
this boy was no fool.
There he went and took his last sigh,
Hopefully he told his mom, "I love you."

Now he's gone, no more,
brave and strong as he went.
Oh this boy was different, he had a cure,
a cure, ...that God himself sent.

His mom closed the door to his room one last time,
photos theo nly language left.
The lot of Brunswick County came in a line,
it seemed, when I heard the news...everything was deaf.

You were alive, young and free,
--like how a willows' branches dance in the wind.
How can it be that you are dead? It seems insane to me,
But you had innocence and no sin.

Up there in the deep, deep blue,
a Carribean wave of color.
Oh, my friend...I hope to see you soon,
in that utopia of wonder.

I never said goodbye......
Oh man..--this is going to stick.
Everyone cared and that is no lie,
yet, this is something that cannot be fixed.

It seems that you are on a very long vacation,
to Austraila to see the crocs.
Or maybe you are asleep and can mend,
no...what has happened is in the past.......locked.

Your thread snapped--with quite a loud thud,
it was unexpected.
But the road of life is unpredicatable, even if it involves puddles of mud,
oh how much this world is unknown to you, but it happened.....it did.

I hope I kept my promise,
in wirting this sorrowful poem.
I wish to see your eyes sparkle up agagin, just like a sugar dish,
but..now--everything has gone dim.

Well, where I sit to think and where I have sat,
I will remember you always with - not a lonely sigh-- but with a knowning sigh.
So to my dearest friend- Matt,
I say goodbye one final and last time...
---Goodbye.



--nothing happened today except A LOT OF TEARS * ive never cried so much in my life...we stayed at the church practically. it's so different...i just can't get it through my head, that he's dead...i mean, him outta all people...omg i miss him so much...im tryimng to accept it, i really am, but i just dont want to...i need advice...or a hug. bye -ktz-

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   in loving memory of Matthew Dale Darnell
today started out like a normal day. me and heather went to bed at 5:30, i got home, went to work, a normal day....it was rainy, a tropical depression is sorta coming at us. i got my schedule for school...alg. II, chemistry, biology, the whole deal..i got home and i found out probably the most terriable news thts ever happened to every1 i know practically->

Matthew Dale Darnell born June 5, 1988, died July 31, 2004 in a car accident bc he skided off the road and fell from a 25 foot drop in2 some trees...he died instantly.

matt i will always rmb you, u were the best christian i will ever know! but its wht god wanted and at least ure in a utopia now. im srry i never said goodbye though :(...lots of love.i miss u sooo much, there will never be any more candy thrown or pen caps hitting me in the eye in sunday school, lol i will pray for you and ure family, esp. ure mom, she is strong and she faith. i promise u i will write the best poem i can...i always envied u...u believed in god so easliy, whereas i had questions and not a lot of faith...but now i know that you r in a better place. and now im believeing again.

"It's times like these we learn to love again.."


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Saturday, July 31, 2004


   the day of KITTIEZ!!!
today was AWESOMEZ!! i got up and went to heathers house! we got ready and left for kittie ^^ the first 3 bands pretty much SUCKED...but when kittie came it was TEH AWESOMESINESS! i didnt go crowd surfing...not enough people which was sucky and surprising...well, after drinking 7 beers, LOL JK JKJK ! or am i!?!?!?!?!!? uh oh...lol we left, and cant hear now...or move necks,...or breathe, CANCER PPLg! grawolz! >: ramm...tried to kill me, and heather and then me again. thompson was molesting heathers...hair. and...hair. THE JASON SPECIES R QUITE...EXPLORATIVE, tee hee. on our ride home, we convinetly stopped by a gas station. ..in the bathroom. of this convinute gas station...i stumbled apon a $0.75 machine of...CoNdOmS!!! ^_^ well, knowing me, if i had HAD 75 cents at the moment, i'd have gotten bout...a lot of them. THEY HAD FLAVORS LIKE VANILLA...AND...ELECTRIC STORM...AND, ETC. *squeaks* we left :(, on the way home, here twas the inside jokes-> TO THE RIGHT! U SHALL SEE...WARTS! TO THE LEF U SHALL SEE...ABSTINENCE! go right, its more fun...>:D! we returned home. now. this is where things got scary...and light switchy., heather and her god forbidden 3 FOOT ""wooden''' stick. SHES DIZZY FROM IT! i tell ya one thing...........ramm was baffled, and so i was 2...AGAIN. im looking at the stick now, it is lying INNOCENTLY on the floor -_- but it dont fool me AHA! i kno its plot to...do s....scary...stuff. EVERY MANS DREAM...KEEP DREAMING! elephants! ^^ oh quote of da day->

Life is full of risks...Life is short. Take the risks.!

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Friday, July 30, 2004


   woots!
You got a perfect score on the 'Are you an InuYasha fan' quiz!
100%


Are you an InuYasha fan?
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Thursday, July 29, 2004


   The day tht was the 3rd best day at hellplace!
i woke up at noon...thanks to my trusty ramm alarm clock...-_- i got ready and drove to wally world (aka wal mart) and then around downtown southport! weee. i had quite a headache all day. :/ i then went to work..

today was a REALLY good day! i actual had fun...0.o i think ive gone insane...-er. i accidentally threw some butter on somebody...heh. ppl were nice there today, i gots some tips (only 3 bucks..) i got a lot of inside jokes, i almost kicked somebody in the nuts ^^ etc.! i drove home...lol almost ran off the road 2.. TOMORROW= KITTIE CONCERT+HEATHER AND KT!!! i cant wait man...tht math equation made no sense...but OH WELL! lol i cant waiiiiit! tell ure mommys tx for the ride down there dew sistah!

Question of the day-> How do ppl go insane? lol i have the solution! when they start to flop around like a chicken and call each other a GD apple head...lol and /or they blow latex (hehe latex) rubber gloves over their heads...yes, tht is where u go quite insane, i am insane. but i am a ''crazy''insane, not ''quite'' insane. lol i luv it!

Random song of the day-> ITS STUCK IN ME HEAD...NOOO!-

"u r my sunshine, my only sunshine, u make me happy, when skies are grey, blah blah blah blaaaah, blahh! i'll always love you, something another, SUNSHINEY!"
SOME1 SHOOT ME NOW...THT SONG IS...CHEERFUL /dies/ lol.

welps! ima outtiiiiiie! -ktz-

I HAVETA DEDICATE THIS POST TO - JOHN KERRY! ROCK ON MAN! if i was 18, i'd vote for u! ^^ KICK THT SUCKAH OUTTA OFFICE!

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   The day at hellplace tht was pretty good! 0.o
well i woke up, got ready, did some archory (gotten worse-er, lol) then drove to my piano lessons! i did ehh on em', she says im getting to be ''''excellent''' and im like...lol if i'd practice more than twice a week...then we'll talk. i then left and went to hellplace (aka work) it wasnt bad, the girl i hate turns out tht every1 else hates her, so i dont haveta biotch at her. lol, i made 2 bux in tips ^__^ /dies/ i swear ppl must come to work drunk...scary iness . blah blah blah, got home! talked on AIM and i played Kingdom Hearts, (ive beat this game twice, i just love it 2 much!) i beat sephroitis (sp?) again, lol took me awhile to get use to his attacks again! afterwards, im just as bored as a monkey on crack!

Quote of tha days->
When your stuck in the rain and it doesnt seem likely to end, there is always going to be a little break in the clouds to show the sun, so keep hope in your heart.

gimme advice thing of the day (lol this one is fun)->
wht do u do when u reeeeeealy like some1, and they seem to reaaaaaaaaaly like u, but u have doubts? hell, y do u haveta realllllllly like somebody at all?! some1 throw snuff at me.../dies/ love....can die. ! lol



ahh, i feel as if im trapped...like i kno there's a bigger and more interesting world out there..but here i am, in my room, in this house, in this isolated place in the middle of nowhere, while my life is passing by and im force to just sit here and look at the same old scenery and places. i want to go...away from this life, and just see these fantasy like images on my own...i want an adventure.

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