Monday, January 3, 2005

   Evanescence: Tourniquet
Evanescence: Tourniquet

"I tried to kill the pain,
But only brought more.
(so much more)
I'm dying,
And I'm pouring, crimson regret, and betrayal.

I'm dying,
Praying,
Bleeding,
Screaming.
Am I too lost to be saved?
Am I too lost?
My god! my tourniquet,
Return to me salvation.
My god! my tourniquet,
Return to me salvation.

Do you remember me?
Lost for so long.
Will you be on the other side?
Will you forgive me?

I'm dying,
Praying,
Bleeding,
Screaming.

Am I too lost to be saved?
Am I too lost?

My god! my tourniquet,
Return to me salvation.
My god! my tourniquet,
Return to me salvation.

(return to me salvation)
(I want to die!)

My god! my tourniquet,
Return to me salvation.
My god! my tourniquet,
Return to me salvation.

My wounds cry for the grave.
My soul cries, for deliverance.
Will I be denied?
Christ! tourniquet! my suicide."
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Saturday, January 1, 2005

   new year shzzt
HAPPY 2005!!!

well this new year was pretty good, went to acouple of parties, got drunk (jk), hung out w/ ramm, and yea. Got a kiss right on midnight on 05' from my rammie ^^.

I'm not really that big on new years so....woohooo new year, new drama ^____^... lol

resolution things->
1- to make these high school years rememberable by taking risks/thrills, getting into some trouble, and just having fun!
2- do good in my studies at school...i hope this year will be a good year so i can have good grades to a good college....GOOD! lol
3-to survive through this year, literally.

so weee, my goal things /\ ponder them. hope yall had a good new years, about half an hour after the clock said 'holy shit its 05...' drama already hit...but oh well, cuz time continues to tick so i'm not worried about it and will live my life, which i only have one of, to the fullest. >:)
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Friday, December 31, 2004

   Images of the disguised -Kt- (random poem i wrote)
Images of the disguised
-Kt-

A cracked shield,
protecting the skeleton of a tree.
Broken in all patterns,
as high as the eyes can see.

The ugly child of the village,
walking a path with shoes of mud.
Taking in all of the grey,
ripped to the skin with memories.

A lover with desperation,
shaking to keep the light.
Night has fallen upon him,
A mighty keep-sake has gone.

No soul in the eyes of the lost,
powered only by an outer force.
Come follow the celtic path,
regain consciousness.

Guardian angel to some,
twilight in her heavenly skin.
Silent with her blue aura,
kisses give faint deaths.

Ripples in a Carribean sky,
showing the feeling of lust.
Clear and see-through,
just like a child's smile.

Ears pretained to lies,
masked by a past mold.
Singing to hide some thoughts,
everything will soon be alright.
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Thursday, December 30, 2004

   PMS.
well today is now officially named the 'PMSing day from HELL."




1- got pissy at ramm a lot, lol for little things. and heather hates ppl.
2- i just ain't a people person 2day. lol
3- padre and madre pissing me off.
4- stuff.

yea, those were my ehh >.< moments.

i hung out w/ ze dew sistah 2day! ^_^ felt good to get outta ze house! saw meet the folkers again! it's still halirious!

well, heather is weak. Dropped a 10 friggin lb. weight thing at wally world right on the floor and it went BAMMMMMMM! lol sorta ran from that ^_^; lol

so here we r now, high on dew and hangovers from chocolate! lol today was good except for the drama from pmsin', which was in it's own way, funny once looked over. heh, teenage years *shrugs* @(!.!)@

~*Moby: Porcelain*~

"In my dreams I'm dying all the time,
As I wake its kaleidoscopic mind.
I never meant to hurt you,
I never meant to lie.
So this is goodbye,
This is goodbye.

Tell the truth you never wanted me,
Tell me.

In my dreams I'm jealous all the time,
As I wake I'm going out of my mind.
Going out of my mind..."

/\looking for that song for friggin 2 months! ^^
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Wednesday, December 29, 2004

   Random stuff




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Tuesday, December 28, 2004

   The 'outgoing minded' one
-You know, one of my biggest fears is not controlling my emotions. Because in the end that leads to the fact that I cannot control reality.-

Think me as a person who thinks too much and therefore, develops these little probelms where they make reality seem out of reach... Basically, think of me as 'the outgoing minded'.


------------------------------------
well, in happier news, i went to wilmington w/ Ramm!

i bought stuff->
2 bumper stickers-
-IMPEACH BUSH-
-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!-

and little button things!

and an air freshner that's suppose to smell like pine but instead.. smells like the shit of a pine tree....im not joking...-_-

well today was pretty fun, except those little poetic moods...i really wish i could find someone to tell them too...i'm just afraid that they are just to darn crazy sounding....:/ -Lu-




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Monday, December 27, 2004

   The reason I <3 the Goo Goo Dolls..
It's 2:26 a.m. in the morning and there is absolutely no way i can get sleep tonight.

1-I can't get warm...i'm am literally shaking from cold...lol
2-Something big is bothering me.....and it really is killing me from the inside out...i sorta know what it is, but I try to hide from it...this might sound very weird and sorta immature, but hell idc,->

i watched "Goo Goo Dolls live in Buffalo for July 4th 2004" just now. It was one of the bestest shows I've ever seen..even though i wasn't actually there (which i would've gave up anything i had to see it) and it was DVD and all. The songs made me cry, seriously. I was bawling during songs like Name, Slide, Broadway, and Iris (def. this one). The lyrics touched my soul i think...idk, but w/e it did, it sure did make me realize that memories are what make a life-time. so make good choices through your life, and you'll have something to look back on and cry happy tears and smile that you lived through that moment...
-You don't know when your time will come..Why waste your time sitting around...you're basically wasting life...LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST.-




~Goo Goo Dolls: Don't Change~

"I'm standing here on the ground,
The sky above won't fall down.
See no evil, in all direction,
Resolution of happiness.
Things have been dark for too long.

Don't change for you,
Don't change a thing,
For me.

Don't change for you,
Don't change a thing,
For me.

I'm found in love I had lost,
It had been gone for too long.
Hear no evil, in all directions,
Execution of bitterness.
Message received loud and clear.

Don't change for you,
Don't change a thing,
For me.

Don't change for you,
Don't change a thing,
For me.

I'm standing here on the ground,
The sky above won't fall down.
See no evil, in all directions,
Resolution of happiness.
Things have been dark for too long.

Don't change for you,
Don't change a thing,
For me.

Don't change for you,
Don't change a thing,
For me.

Don't change,
Don't change, yeah, yeah.."
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Sunday, December 26, 2004

   ANOTHER survey! lol i'm piss u ppl off eh?

extremely long survey
Created by xfallingforyoux and taken 50445 times on bzoink!
ABOUT YOU
Your full name:	Katie-Leigh Virginia Lubinsky
Age:	16
Height:	5'8''
Natural hair colour:	blonde
Eye colour:	blue
Number of siblings:	1
Glasses/contacts?:	nope
Piercings:	nope
Tattoos:	nope
Braces?:	use to have em' in 7th
FAVOURITE
Colour:	black and dark purple
Band:	goo goo dolls
Song:	Iris
Stuffed animal:	my snow white cat ive had since i was 4
Video game:	kingdom hearts
TV show:	fuse i guess
Movie:	lotr
Book:	fires of the Faithful
Food:	sugar
Game on a cell phone:	lol race car game
CD cover:	errr, i juts have a cd case
Flower:	rose or iris
Scent:	curve
Animal:	birds
Comic book:	i like a comic strip from the newspaper, lol, garfield! ^_^
Cereal:	coco puffs!
Website:	otaku.com
Cartoon:	inu yasha
DO YOU
Play an instrument?:	yup piano
Watch TV more than 60 hours a week?:	lol wht do you think?
Like to sing?:	by myself
Have a job?:	lol hell no
Have a cell phone?:	yup
Like to play sports?:	soccer and archory
Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?:	yup ^^
Have a crush on someone?:	lol well yea
Live somewhere NOT in the united states?:	nope
Have more than 5 TVs in your house?:	i have 4 lol
Have any special talents/skills?:	yea, writing i guess
Excercise daily?:	lol i walk usually
Like school?:	hell no..
CAN YOU
Sing the alphabet backwards?:	i can verrrrrrrry slowly
Stand on your tip toes without wearing shoes?:	yea...but i easily trip..
Speak any other languages?:	PFF, no fluently...
Go a day without food?:	ive gone 4 days w/out food...
Stay up for more than 24 hours?:	done that once, lol
Read music, not just tabs?:	yup
Roll your tongue?:	yup
Eat a whole pizza?:	lol half of one
HAVE YOU EVER
Snuck out of the house?:	lol yeeea, outta karas house to go skinny dipping..
Cried to get out of trouble?:	ima girl, therefore u can use this motive to get outta trouble easily
Gotten lost in your city?:	lol yeeea...sadly
Seen a shooting star?:	oh yes! i love em', they r pretty
Been to any other countries besides the united states?:	lol yea bahamas
Had a serious surgery?:	not really, a bone fracture once..
Stolen something important to someone else?:	moms' $? lol
Solved a rubiks cube?:	YES!!!!! i kicked it afterwards!
Gone out in public in your pajamas?:	we have pj day at school, so yes
Cried over a girl?:	my sister sometimes...
Cried over a boy?:	oh yes...-_-
Kissed a random stranger?:	hell no...stds...and ehh..
Hugged a random stranger?:	lol sorta
Been in a fist fight?:	w/ sister/dew sistah!
Been arrested?:	lol ive been stopped/chased by the cops acouple of times..
Done drugs?:	nope
Had alcohol?:	yeea...2-3 times..not a lot though
Laughed and had milk come out of your nose?:	lol not milk, mt. dew, pepsi, and water..
Pushed all the buttons on an elevator?:	LOL!!!!!!! oh yes and heath and i broke the celiling too!
Gone to school only to find you had the day off because of a holiday/etc?:	lol almost..
Swore at your parents?:	oh yes...got semi in trouble
Been to warped tour?:	no :(
Kicked a guy where it hurts?:	LMAO, ive done that twice and kneed em' countless times...
Been in love?:	yea (in it now ^^)
Been close to love?:	lol puppy love in the past
Been to a casino?:	lol me/greg/mark/amanda ran through it trying to find the pimp on a cruise boat once
Ran over an animal and killed it?:	almost, but i stopped to let the stupid squirrel go
Broken a bone?:	almost
Gotten stitches?:	yup on my face...
Had a waterballoon fight in winter?:	yup..gotten thrown in a lake 2...
Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour?:	nope, i'd get a tummy ache
Made homemade muffins?:	lol i burn water..
Bitten someone?:	OH YES. ima vamp
Been to disneyland/disneyworld?:	yup, lol funny stuff
More than 5 times?:	nope...gonan do it though >:D
Been to niagra falls?:	nope
Burped in someones face?:	yuuuup
Gotten the chicken pox?:	yup...damn chickens.
WHENS THE LAST TIME YOU
Brushed your teeth:	this morning
Went to the bathroom:	lol an hour ago
Saw a movie in theaters:	like 3 days ago or something- meet the foulkers- go and c it!
Read a book:	lol oh god, i finished one 2 wks ago...stupid school..
Had a snow day:	pfffffff, 2 years ago...
Had a party:	Halloween
Had a slumber party:	errr, carla was the last one that spent the night, lol
Made fun of someone:	lol like 2 min. ago >:D
Tripped in front of someone:	yesterday
Went to the grocery store:	2 days ago..wally world
Got sick:	a month ago probably..gay flu
Cursed:	/does it now/ err 4 sec. ago ^_^
PICK ONE
Fruit/vegetables:	fruit
Black/white:	black
Lights on/lights off:	off
TV/movie:	movie
Car/truck:	car
Body spray/lotion:	body spray
Cash/check:	cash
Pillows/blankets:	both. lol
Headache/stomach ache:	headache
Paint/charcoal:	paint
Chinese food/mexican food:	mexi food
Summer/winter:	winter
Snow/rain:	snow
Fog/misty:	fog
Rock/rap:	rock
Meat/vegetarian:	meat
Boy/girl:	boy
Chocolate/vanilla:	chocolate
Sprinkles/icing:	icing!
Cake/pie:	cake
French toast/french fries:	french fries
Strawberries/blueberries:	strawberries
Ocean/swimming pool:	ocean
Hugs/kisses:	hugs
Cookies/muffins:	cookies
p33n/bewbz:	...sure
Wallet/pocket:	pocket
Window/door:	window
Emo/goth:	goth
Pink/purple:	purple
Cat/dog:	cat
Long sleeve/short sleeve:	long sleeve
Pants/shorts:	pants
Winter break/spring break:	winter break
Spring/autumn:	autumn
Clouds/clear sky:	clouds
Moon/mars:	moon
FRIENDSHIP
How many friends do you have?:	lol idk...a lot i guess, but like 6 good ones
What are their names?:	Heath, Ramm, Gene, Broiles, Mal, Holly, Carla...etc etc. if i 4got u, err u r in there 2! ^__^
Do you have a best friend?:	yup! ddd powah!
Have you ever liked one of your friends?:	yea... once...bad mistake.. lol
Do you have more guy friends or more girl friends?:	hmm, i guess i have more guy friends cuz guys have more fun and are less gossip
Have you ever lost a friend?:	yea...they moved away and one passed away
Have you ever gone to an amusement park with a friend?:	yup! alot of times
Whats an inside joke between you and a friend?:	oh god, lol, YOSHI / YODA!
Have you ever gotten in a big arguement with a friend?:	in 8th grade...stupid shzzt
Whats the nicest thing youve ever done for a friend?:	taken em' on a trip lol
Whats the nicest thing a friend has ever done for you?:	told me that i am practically their sister
Do you miss any of your old friends?:	yea, bc we've grown apart, but *shrugs* ppl change
What friend have you known the longest?:	oh god, lol Gene
Do you regret anything youve done to a friend?:	yea..but hell, time goes on
If so, what is it?:	white lies and such.. :/
How often do you spend time with your friends?:	usually all the time at school and once or twice over the weekend
Do any of your friends drive?:	oh yes! lol /drives/
Has a friend of yours ever died?:	yea..
Whats the dumbest thing youve done with a friend?:	lololol! well, Heath and I went up the down esclator but it was fun!
What do you think your friends think of you?:	immature, crazy, fun loving, and reckless, oh yes reckless, lol
LOVE AND ALL THAT CRAP
Have you ever been in love?:	yea /still am/
If you have, with who?:	ramm
Are you single?:	nope
Are you in a relationship?:	yup
If so, for how long?:	3 1/2 months
Do you believe there is someone for everyone?:	if they open up to them, then if its right, then yea
What is your idea of the best date?:	lol just being with that person, maybe go take a walk on the beach, pizza hut, movie, etc
What was your first kiss like?:	.../shudders/...
How old were you when you got your first kiss?:	14
Do you think love is a load of shit?:	well if its' a stupid relationship then yes, but if its a true relatinoship, then hell no
Whats the best experiance youve ever had with the opposite sex?:	...lol oh the kinks and dinks, lol ~_+
If you are single, have you had any boyfriends/girlfriends before?:	---
Have you ever been dumped?:	yup
Have you ever dumped someone?:	lol yea and it was fun ^_^
Whats the most sexual thing youve done with the opposite sex?:	HARDCORE SEX!!!!! >D! lol jk
WORD ASSOCIATION
Slippers:	warm
Hat:	high
Hard:	wood
Free:	fly
Space:	beautiful
Taste:	hunger
Good charlotte:	rock
Red:	blood
Deep:	fantasy
Heart:	love
Cord:	eletricity
Cheese:	french!
Rain:	poetry
Work:	stupid
Pedal:	exercise
Head:	hair
Bed:	sleep
Fluff:	cute
Hardcore:	sex!
Race:	fast
Knife:	suicide
Jump:	bungee jump
I....
am:	crazy
want:	to travel
need:	sugah
crave:	sugah!
love:	ramm!
hate:	bush
did:	YOU! lol nah
feel:	tired
miss:	memories
am annoyed by:	people
would rather:	sleep
am tired of:	school
will always:	be a poet
SILLY STUFF
What is your favourite genre of music?:	rock mainly
What time is it now?:	9:34 p.m.
What day is it?:	god..err i think sunday
Whens the last time you called someone?:	like 10 min. ago, lol
How much money do you have right now?:	PFFF, 20...
Are you hungry?:	yup!
Whatcha doin?:	typing...
Do you like parades?:	candy from em'!
Do you like the moon?:	yea its purdy
What are you going to do when youre done with this?:	sleep.
Isnt cup a funny word when you repeat it over and over?:	0o in my mind..yes ...yes it is
If you could have any magical power what would it be?:	to fly
Have you ever had a picnic?:	YES!
Did you ever have one of those skip-its when you were young?:	hell no, i tried one and fell on my arse...
What about sock em boppers?:	lol i've gotten smacked w/ em'..
Are you wearing any socks right now?:	yup!
DO YOU THINK YOU ARE
funny?:	lol in some weird perverted ways..
pretty?:	ehh...sure
sarcastic?:	lol when ppl piss me off
lazy?:	oh yes
hyper?:	when i eat sugar
friendly?:	yea, i tolerate new ppl
evil?:	lol when u piss me off....i want blood.
smart?:	when i have to be
strong?:	pff, strong in spirit yes, strong in brawn, ...i'll run away instead, lol
talented?:	yea in writing mainly
dorky?:	YUP! moreoverly immature and crazy though..
ASSOCIATE THESE WORDS WITH SOMEONE YOU KNOW (or dont know)
high:	lol tyler
skip:	holly
dance:	carla
lonely:	idk.. lol
pen:	lynn
flower:	kelsie
window:	heather
psycho:	" " lol
brain freeze:	graham
orange:	RAMM! lol
sassy:	beth
jelly:	Mallory! ^^ idk y, lol
FOR OR AGAINST
suicide:	against
love:	for
drunk drivers:	against
airplanes:	for
war:	against
canada:	...FOR! lol
united states:	ehh...not including bush. for
rock music:	for!
gay marriage:	hell, if they don't bother me, for
school:	for...i guess..
surveys:	for, y not? lol
parents:	ehh..for, they give u stuff..lol
cars:	for!
killing:	against.
britney spears:	AGAINST.
coffee:	for
pants:	for!
WOULD YOU EVER
Sky dive?:	yeeea, lol heath gonna drag me along
Play strip poker?:	done it...its odd lol
Run away?:	if i was a bit crazy in the head and was pissy yes.
Curse at a teacher?:	lol under my breath or if they piss me off a lot
Not take a shower for a week?:	no..
Ask someone out?:	yea, y not? lol
Lie to someone to make them think better of you?:	no, if they don't like the truth, let em' die.
Visit a foreign country for more than a month?:	/wants to/ yes
Go scuba diving?:	yea!
Write a book?:	yea! ive started like 5..
Become a rockstar?:	lol i wouldnt be the singer
Have casual sex?:	hell no
LAST QUESTIONS
What shampoo do you use?:	suave 2 in 1
Whens the last time you did something sexual with the opposite sex?:	lol wellll, lol
What kind of computer do you have?:	errr sony, dell, something that pisses me off
What grade are you in?:	10th
Do you like to throw popcorn at people in the movies?:	LOL oh yes, got in trouble
Or just make out?:	both? ~_+
How many posters do you have in your room?:	...more than 15
How many cds do you have?:	about 56 (all of em' burnt practically)
What time is it now?:	9:41 p.m.!
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   nother surrrvey!

What is your stand on.....
Created by spyndakitrose and taken 17392 times on bzoink!
Abortion?	Pro-choice, if they wanna do it, let em'
Death Penalty?	unless that person did something extremely bad, then no.
Prostitution?	terriable and disgusting.
Alcohol?	maybe a night out to drink, but kids just doing it to watch each other get drunk is mean.
Marijuana?	if it wasn't illegal, I'd try it!
Other drugs?	the rest suck, lol
Gay marriage?	they're not harming me, and if its true love, then w/e floats your boat
Illegal immigrants?	this nation is crowded enough as it is...
Smoking?	less people in the world /shrugs/ kill yourself early!
Drunk driving?	ehh...no. if you killed some1 like that, it would really suck..
Cloning?	umm, if i were the clone, i'd feel preeeetty shitty cuz i was born in some odd way...
Racism?	we're all the same on the inside! y does the outside haveta matter?
Premarital sex?	well if ure engaged...go bang the hell outta each other ~_+
Religion?	it's your free thought and people shouldn't judge you if you believe in god or not....its a friggin free country...
The war in Iraq?	F---ED UP! why the hell are we over there?!
Bush?	/snickers/ here we go ^_^ -> stupid, crazy, overly powerful, thinks poor people suck, destroys the economy, America is basically screwed now.., and no more health care!...
Downloading music?	lol hey, if you can get away w/ it, and its free, do it!
The legal drinking age?	alcohol is worse than Marijuana, y not just make marijuana legal at 21 2?
Porn?	wonder why people become more sexually active at a younger age and all of these teenage pregancies come from..?
Suicide?	you don't know whats beyond life, could be absolute blackness...y end something a special gift?
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