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• gothicelfgirl004
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Birthday
• 1988-12-07
Gender
• Female
Location
• Abyss
Member Since
• 2004-07-05
Occupation
• day dreamer, soccer player, pianoist, poet
Real Name
• Katie (KT)

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Achievements
• sports (soccer/running)& writing (poetry basically)
Anime Fan Since
• somtime about 2 yrs. ago or so
Favorite Anime
• Inu yasha, Trigun, .hack//sign, witch hungter robin, salior moon, wolfs' reign,
Goals
• to become a famous poet one day and travel the world
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• writing/drawing/listening to music/imaginating/hanging w/ my buds
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• socca, piano, writing, being nice to ppl(thts harder than it sounds...lol)




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myOtaku.com: DisTant ProPhecy


Wednesday, October 6, 2004

   last thoughts about matthew...
yea yea....i kno its been over 2 months since Matthew died....wow, not that long at all, when you really think about it, it feels like it only happened a week ago. i hope this is the last time ill have those lil' 'saddened'' times about it...i feel sorta pathetic,being all depressed still and such ...esp. when telling it out like out to the world, but hell this is a journal right?

i guess i started thinking about him again 2day while i was walking up my road...i was thinking about other smaller probelms like w/ ramm and my parents and shzzt, then i looked on my street sign, and there was the old silly string i strung up there July 22, 2004..the very last time i ever saw matt...i stared at it for what seemed for hours...then i just leaned against the street sign and just looked up at the sky and said "God...may he be in the stars." I didnt cry, nor was i sad...just...letting go. At that moment, i realized i had let go of the fact that he is gone...i can say it now aloud w/out being bothered by it...
But it hurts, mrs. teresa espically, god i look up to her so much...shes so strong, i want to be like her. If you can get through ure own child's death, while the next day, giving off an aura of smiles and laughs, showing people that it was god's will...that is the strongest karma i have ever witnessed...god bless her.
if only i stayed for that lulou(sp?) party......argh, i need to stop saying that, but yea, if i only took the time to look him in the face and say good bye one final time...noone thought of it, that he would be gone in a little bit more than a week from that day...no one. guilt is a resigned and most strongest emotion...it'll never dissappear...never. I miss him, oh lordie i do, ill always miss the austrailian pipe sounds he would make w/ very random water pipes at church 0.o(/still doesnt kno where he got a hold of em'), and whenever he would attack ppl w/ water balloons, lol hose nozzles aren't efficent at all w/ blowing up balloons...thts why i always lost...-_-, damn balloon would break on myself instead of other ppl...bah humbug. lol, i luve remembering the happy times moreoever than the sad times, feels way much better... like this quote says: "Dont cry because bad stuff happen, smile because it happened in the first place." :)

so, ill keep the pictures, the memories, the mixed cd, the advice, the laughs, the mistakes, the coffee spills in sunday school, and the pirate party, and the young boy who made such positive changes in not only his life, but everyone elses' life around him, he was certainly an angel sent by god, and he is up there now being as free as the innocent child that is in his eyes, surfing with the angels in an Austrialian carribean blue.

~*Living it Up for MD!~*
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