Monday, April 11, 2005

   im so confused right now
lot has happened to me since last time i wrote....my life just seems to be falling in around me as i type, i have been getting bitchier and bitchier to. i try to have a good attitude and tolerence for stuff, but i just can't do that. the simplist of stuff has been sending me over the edge latley.... like all my friends have suddenly turned on me for being "heartless" torwards them or something but i valued my friend above family.... theres alot of other stuff....i started crying at school im so pissed at myself for crying in public....hell i pissed for crying strait out i hate showing any sign on weakness and crying is considered a weakness in my book....alot of other stuff has been happining...like my dad thinks he can control what i feel and what i like....he thinks he can get away with just letting some of my needs fly....i know that sounds like im a spoiled brat but im not...my brother is....he got a new flat screen TV for his birthday..then my dad said i could get a cell phone for my birthday then he turns and says that i can't get one till i can pay for it myself...and when brian got his new flat screen TV they took away the xbox and gave it to him...they told me i could still go in his room and play it and i was like what the fucking hell? i know it sounds like something nice and like they didn't really take it from me...but they did they did: it's in his room im not even allowed in there unless it's to play the game now....and even though i hate him i don't go into his room because i NEVER let him in mine it just isn't fair. there more he put a hole in my wall the same weekend a BIG hole and he can see into my room now and im PISSED about it then later that night my best friend took me and my brother and his friend to the skateing ring and spent about 50 dollars on them and they got us kicked out then they turned around disrespected her alot....tey shot eachother with needles and shiskabob sticks with my brothers b-b gun and then they bought him a new one because the one they where shooting eachother will broke..


that was such a bad day that when i called my dad to tell him my dad ended up getting mad at me so i hung up on him...then when he called back and i anwered i threw the phone at the wall.....

then something nice happens the mini-con comes and i get to do more then go but i am acturally in charge of gaming! i was so happy that i got tp spend almost 42 whole hours around anime! then i had to go home.....then second i walked through the front door i wanted to cry again

also when i said my dad and his girlfriend didn't even meet my needs i ment ACTURAL needs not like i need this to be done now i mean i NEEDED something and they told me to deal with it...wich made most of the mini-con hell for me.....because i needed something...so when my dad went to take me to the set up of the mini con he got me what i needed but didn't give it to me...if you don't know what it was i needed then your probably better off not asking......

but something funny did happen to me today when i was in line waiting to get my picture taken ( it was picture day) i grabbed my stomach because i had a cramp...( i don't usuallycare aout cramos because they don't bother me much but i was really tired and i had been standing awhile and i didn't have as much tollerence for pain and i know what your think you think " how could she put that" or " how is that funny?" nwell read on) then my ex-boyfriend who was still my friend turned around and saw me holding my stomach and he asked me why and i said " because it hurt?" he then asked " did you eat" and i thought for a moment because i really didn't eat much and i eventually said " yeah" he then turned and said " ohh i get pains like that sometimes"

it was the funniest thing ever i cracked up because he said that he got cramps like me sometimes...if you don't get that your an idiot...think for a moment im a girl...and i had a cramp....( if you still don't get what that means you need to IM me or something)


i thought it was funny....but my friend who has a big crush on me emmbaressed the hell out of my today...today it was really hot on the bus so i took of my caot and my over shirt (( im used to wearing two shirts because i play soccer so it feels natural to me)) well i was wearing a purple spegetti strap and a white under shirtr (( i had three shirts on a blue one a puple spegetti strap and a whit on that covered part of my shoulder)) anywho a few moments later he told me i was bouncing.....i slaped him and put my coat back on and continued to yell at him for a number of reasons because i don't like him like that AND i really can't stand people staring at my breast....or any part of me for that matter it just grosses me out >.< i was so fucking pissed and im pissed right now i feel awful to like im ganna acry again but who gives a damn? not me because it i cry i'll shoot my self ( not literally) anyways u have to go now bye!


~doko din: did you know that my school now has manga?!~
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