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Friday, July 8, 2005


   this sucks
im depressed as ever.....me and my best friend spent maybe about a week apart the whole summer and we're both going to chruch camp...thing is...chruch camp will probably suck....wich only adds to my depression.....i've been feeling a whole lot of pain...alot of it...even as i type right now im about to double over in pain...it feels like someone is probing my lungs and just below my rib cage with sharp pointy things....i've tried to hide the pain from my friends...but when i doupled over in pain at the youth group pool party...didn't help...my friend thinks im bleeding internally because he saw me cough up blood or something....im talking to my mom again! fun side...she is buying me a new computer and sending it to me...my brother will be pissed...but he hates her...i love her, he once said "i don't want anything else to do with her" so it's his falt that he didn't get the computer :P .... someone kinda lifted my spirits today...and then all at once made me pissed off again i really wantt to not be mad at him...because i love him...but still, for some reason i can't help but be mad at him for something.. im going insane again.. but what they said to me, although normal, just seemed to touch me O_o;; yeah that is weird huh? i have recently decided...that i want to strangle chris (yoshi)....but at the same time i want to hug him to death...i want to strangle him because is such a goofball... got in a fight with someone because he thinks that secretly i want to feel love...got kinda pissed because i would care if someone left me...that makes me sound heartless yeah...also i have been collecting peoples souls..and pants and i have slaves to those who wont lemme have their souls but will let me own them O_o..... oww the pain keeps getting worse and worse it hurts alot....>.< i just kinda want to die now...last time the pain got so bad that i passed out anyways im ganna go now before i pass out -__-; well i'll talk to you guys later ~jennifer~
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