Sunday, February 22, 2004

   Dance, and so on....
Hey all, thought I’d post mid- homework... ~yawn~ Had an awesome time last night, managed to flop into bed right at midnite... It was great, had an awesome time, with a low moment or two but the rest of the night was great. Started out by calling about every single person I know to make plans or get a number (mandy’s, cuz I don’t have it), and Crystal and I made up. So around 4:30 I ended up getting picked up to go to her place and grab our stuff and go to the bowling alley, where we both met Lee... Cory had wanted to hang out with Crystal, so she ended up finding us and hung out with us for a while. We bowled a game with the bumpers, poor Lee, and Crystal and I both lost... I suck at bowling. Then we thought it would be a good idea to play pool, which Lee kicked my ass... Crystal played Cory too, and since Crystal and I both suck, we both lost horribly. I blame it on Lee, who was trying real hard to distract me. No fair. That and Cory plays at Shooter’s all the time. I mentioned that maybe we should go up to Shooter’s next Saturday with Mandy, Nette, Lee, and me... It would be awesome. Anyway, around 6:45 we got a ride with Cory, who drives like a maniac btw, who dropped us off at the school for the dance. Well, Crystal and I went to get ready, (we were still wearing clothes from bowling) and we thought we didn’t have a lot of time. The school calendar said seven, the website said 7:30, and we end up finding out that it starts at 8:30. So we had to wait for an hour and a half. Anyway, Crystal and Lee got along at the bowling alley, but that went rapidly downhill at the school... As that whole conflict pushed itself along, Mandy was getting pissed at Crystal, and Crystal was bitching at me and Lee, and no matter what I did IT WOULD NOT STOP. I just kinda gave up... Mandy bit me too for fun, and I have a huge bruise on my arm with her teeth marks on it. You can even see where her piercing is. Anyway, we finally got into the dance... There weren’t too many people there, but everyone else was the super prep people... It was hilarious, because our group (Dale, Mandy, Lydia, Jeanette, Crystal, Lee, and myself) were either all in black, or wearing spikes or sharp jewelry... We were getting the evil eye all night. Crystal got upset about something and left early. Poor Mandy was all upset because of the bad music, every time a new some came on she laid on the floor and pouted. We requested Simple Plan, Linkin Park, ACDC, Mettalica, ANYTHING but Nelly and Justin Timberlake. The poor girl left before the guy started to play the good stuff, which he played Enter the Sandman, Last Resort... etc... It was great, because with the rock music, all the preps stopped dancing and looked around into the back where we were, trying to figure out what to do.... We were all dancing crazily, and they were like lost.... It was hilarious. Then it was just Dale, Lydia, Lee and I, and we started talking about music that was better than sex... Another hilarious conversation, which led to the discussion of music to have sex by... It was great, considering the fact we all went home and put together a list of loud rock music to have sex to... Too bad Mandy missed that convo, that would be something she would love... A little Metallica, Linkin Park, Marilyn Manson... Whoo baby... lol. Anyway, Lee and I left at 11, my mom took him home (very good, considering my DAD was supposed to) and stopped at McDonald’s so I could get something to eat for the first time that day. Got home, flopped into bed, and was fairly unconscious until about 10 this morning. I am SO SORE... all the dancing and running and bruises... Lee was being cruel too... I don’t know what I’m gonna do as far as that’s concerned, but I have an idea. *evil grin* Anyway, I better get off this thing and get some work done... Talk to you all later! Love you Lee!
Love
~heather
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Thursday, February 19, 2004

Hey, back again... it's pretty sad when all you think you have to talk to is an invisible net audience. Whatever, maybe it's just the fact that I can create this mental image of people caring. who the fuck knows. Anyway, on top of my best friend and I haveing this lovely war, I'm scared I could lose my b/f over this... Which is bad enough, except that my grandmother is sick again... she has cancer, and was doing really well, and... guess what? she isnt anymore. Maybe it's in my head, but when it rains it pours... Pepfest... yay hoorah go school ect ect ect. The only thing I have to look forward to in the near future is the dance. Maybe I can go over to mandy's and spend my weekend doing something reckless and stupid. 24 hour drinking binge *small smile* I'm gonna get yelled at for this post too.... Nice to know at least a few people care. I'm not doing the pity whore thing, I'm just tired of everything. I don't get like this often, but when I do I get scary... and for whomever it may concern, I dont plan on cutting, so dont ask. I just... *sigh* I dont know. I feel like I'm drowning and suffocating and burning and bleeding all at one. Someone just put me out of my misery....

Oh well...

Life goes on




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   Ouch

Now my hands hurt... Damn post....
~heather


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   WHAT THE FUCK?!!?!?

WILL SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON??????? okay... breathe... *deep breaths* For all of you who are looking at this going "What the hell is wrong with her?" let me update you to my lovely plight. While it has been seemingly forever since I have posted, I will skip the pleasantries until I am done ranting. Skip right up to yesterday after school. I stayed after school, for one reason and one reason only... to spend time with my boyfriend. I made this point to my best friend, Crystal, and I thought all would be well. Everything was kool right up to the point that I had gotten settled into talking with Lee downstairs, and my name was called over the PA. Thinking it was my mom calling to check up on me, I went to go see what was up. Surprise surprise, it was my ex, Dale, who I had seen b4, and even tho he knew I stayed after to spend time w/ my b/f , he thought it would be kool to have me paged so he could follow me around like a lost puppy. Well that wasn't the best thing, but I was nice, then got cornered by Crystal so I could give her back something she had stuck in my bag. So we went down the hall, and I got my bag and gave it to Crystal, and Lee stood back and had a one on one convo with Dale about how him holding my hand and trying to hit on me and be cuddly was starting to freak me out. Dale said Lee was like Ryan, then cornered me and started talking to me about how, even tho it affects me its not my fault, and that he really wants my permission to let the two of them beat the crap out of each other. Right, thats gonna happen. So I talked to him till I got pissed over the serious immaturity, then went and got some water, and Lee came and talked to me. While Dale was on my case, Crystal (who has been a bitch to lee since day one, cuz she doesn't "know" him) and Amy were lecturing Lee. Well, Lee and I talked about the whole thing, and we decided to go back and figure this out. We went back over to where Crystal and Amy were listening to Dale.... Well Dale had finished his sentence, and I didn't hear part of it, so I asked HIM what was going on. Crystal just gave me this nasty look and said, "It's none of your business." ooooooooh angry Heather..... So I looked her straight in the eye, said "Fine then, I guess I don't need to stay." grabbed my bag, and Lee and I left. I was SO pissed. Still am, which led to this afternoons bitching match after choir today. She wants to be nasty, fine with me, but the thing was WAY more my business than hers, and if she really wanted to help, she could have done it in so many better ways than treating me like shit. So yeah, I'm upset-sad, but SO ANGRY... GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!! *pants* I ran over b4 7th hour and got a hug.. I needed it, or someone was gonna get hurt. Lee was great, he handled the whole thing really maturely, and lemme tell you, he was the only one. Oh, and Dale apologized, so I'm OK with him. But even though I left, and hadn't talked to her most of the afternoon, she was all like, "Are you mad at me?" NOOOO REALLY? again... GRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!! But anywho, on the plus side of things, I had an incredible Vday, roses and a dagger and candy... *blush* Lee is such a sweetheart... One month aniversay last friday, so tommorow is a month and a week. It was a crazy-beautiful-amazing night... one that I wish to repeat as often as possible lol. Also I have been getting along better with Ryan, and I'm done being mad at him for now... I just needed a break from being close to him... if that makes any sense... and this weekend (parents permitting) is the dance and hopefully bowling. I'm kinda praying that I can stay over at Mandy's if my parents are gone, cuz if I get close to Crystal right now I'll freak... hey I hae boundaries, and she crossed them..... but not getting upset again *deep breaths* Anyway, thank you all for your time.... whew I needed that. Talk to you all Later!!! I love you Lee!!!!
Love always
~heather



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