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Thursday, January 29, 2004


   Yawn

Morning Everyone, first hour @ school in the library, wow i really cant spell prolly cuz i'm not awake. Anywho, just thought i'd post to say hello, and that my morning has been really slow. Went to the library instead of watching the rape video today... Figured i didnt want to see it, after dealing with it myself all this time. My damaged psyche cant take it anymore. *small smile* They played a tape yesterday morning with a real wmaon calling the cops because a stranger was breaking into her house. Right up at the end she was so scared, begging this guy to leave, until he was right outside her door, and she kept asking why, why would he come there, he didn't even know her. Then she screamed, and it was a real scream, the kind that youd only hear in horror movies, except real. No voice tracks, no special effects. then the line went dead. Yeah, obviously i was kind of upset when i left. i wasnt gonna watch the video today. Like i said, my psyche... Anyway, I struggled thru my morning after that, was really happy to see Lee, felt safe with him. Luke wanted to talk to me, He's on ryan's track team, so i dont know what he wants, but i'm a litle worried about that convo. i wish it were yesterday, back in Lee's room with the happiness and random talking and the comfortable warmth and sleepiness. i just... i dunno, suddenly looking back isn't good for your heart. When you look back into yourself, all those things that broke your heart are still there, like glass that glued bck together, but you can still see the cracks. And the cracks for me are sharp and cutting. I have an empty feeling sketched into my chest. Ugh. Anyway, before I depress more of you, i'm gonna go, get Lee and go to my next class. Anyway, talk to you all later!
Love,
Heather


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