Friday, December 8, 2006

   Let the madness begin...

DS Time - 10:34 AM Rockin' to the sounds of - 'Want To' by Sugarland JUST SHOOT ME NOW! I have a French Oral exam in about an hour and I am not prepared. And this is just the start of a week of finals. Yeah, expect my brain to melt on the spot because I am not prepared for all of this. On the plus side, the sooner I get these stupid finals done with the sooner I can enjoy my winter break. PS. I wish attending college wasn't so damn hard. -huggums- I love Ren & Hao. What about you?

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Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Remembering the Past...

DS Time - 7:15 AM Rockin' to the sounds of - 'Beautiful Disaster' by Kelly Clarkson Early morning ponderings are so wonderful aren't they? No worries it'll be over quickly...I think. *** [Hey, anyone recognize the significance of the subject title? -hint, hint-] *** So we just got done discussing the Vietnam war in my American History II class. Now those of you who know me well or that have bothered to ask will know that I am of Vietnamese decent (if you didn't know before, I guess you know now). So this particular discussion sort of hit close to home, always does when the war is discussed in my history classes. So forgive me but the majority of this post, if not all of it, will be about my feelings towards the Vietnam war. I don't think I'll be all that long. My emotions are a bit fleeting most of the time, but we'll see. I may be wrong. As a whole, I really don't think much about what happened between the north and the south. I mean it began and ended long before I was even crawling about on this earth and in actuality I've only spent a total of two months in the country since I was born. So why would I think about it at all aside for school-related studying? But when I see images of Buddhist monks setting themselves on fire for their beliefs, and when I see images of US soldiers shooting innocent civilians because they couldn't tell the difference between a villager and a Viet Cong, I can't help but get somber and fatalistic about the whole ordeal. US involvement interference was unnecessary and ultimately was pointless. In the end, the still south fell into communist rule and thousands of lives were lost. And when I think about how one of those innocent civilians unnecessarily killed because they were thought to be a VC, I can't help but think "What if it had been my mom or dad? Then where would I be right now? What kind of person would I had become if Buddha had put me with another family?" I don't know. I kept thinking those kinds of things during the lecture and I'll admit I had tears building up in the corners of my eyes at the thoughts and images. But...there's no point wondering those things now. I'm just glad things turned out the way they did. Buddha was looking out for my family then, and for that I'm glad. ...Some events that happened a few years after my family came to America, I'll leave for another time... I love Ren & Hao. What about you?

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Saturday, November 11, 2006

   Let the madness begin!... -laughs hysterically-

DS Time - 8:18 AM Rockin' to the sounds of - silence Bless me father for I have sinned. It has been three weeks since my last confession. I have committed the unforgivable act of not updating as often as I should on MyOtaku. Am I going to hell? Lol, apologies if I offended anyone with that, but for some reason when I sat down to type out this post, that was the first thing that came to mind. Ironic seeing as how I'm a Buddhist and not a Catholic or any denomination of Christianity. Go figure. :P So it's that time of year. Had midterms a few weeks ago and then I had to go thru the pain-staking ordeal of figuring out my schedule for next semester. Now with about a month left until finals, my professors decide to cram all the work that they can into these last few weeks so they can watch our brains explode from the pressure. Good times, huh? And if that weren't enough, I was having a truckload of problems last week. First my car started leaking transmission fluid so I had to wait until the weekend before someone came to fix it. And then for some odd reason my internet connection stopped working. That problem has since been solved as you can tell. It just wasn't a good week for me I guess. Anyways, currently I'm just taking a break from doing my Take Home Exam in Shakespearean Drama. Four wonderful short essay questions on comparing and contrasting Shakespearean literature, each one needing to be one or two pages typed. If I did the math on that correctly, that's about 8 typed pages analyzing Shakespeare within a matter of 4 days...oh joy. -_-' Well, at least I think I'm halfway there [I wasn't really paying attention to how much I had when I stopped working on it last night]. Now I just need to get thru the other half of it. PS. -sighs- Let the countdown to finals begin! -huggums- I love Ren & Hao. What about you?

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Friday, October 20, 2006

I just wanna sleep...

DS Time - 10:33 AM Rockin' to the sounds of - "Dying of a Broken Heart" by Brooke Valentine Just a quick stop here folks! Well I have a busy weekend ahead of me [as if school didn't keep me busy enough], right after I take this stupid history exam. Ugh, I hate midterms. -_-' Meanwhile, another poem for your viewing pleasures. Inspired by my own experiences with my father. Forewarning, me and my father aren't on good terms right now...and I don't think we ever will be again. Daddy's Little Girl Daddy’s little girl loves to smile Flashing her teeth with endless glee In the meadow where the flowers grow Hair blowing about so joyous and free She dances around with the fairy maids Her giggles ring clear and true in the air Her soul shines as bright as the sun Letting her love out for all to share But daddy wants to ruin his girl’s world Tear it apart from the inside out Until she is nothing more than an empty shell With no voice left to scream and shout Daddy’s little girl wants a hug To soothe away all her fears Getting in return his comforting touch To stay with her through the years But the warmth was a fleeting thought Easily disappearing into the night Leaving her nothing to cling on to Though she reaches out with all her might Daddy’s little girl holds her tongue Turning away from the violent scene While he lays his hands on mother dear As she blends into the shadows, unseen Daddy’s little girl is now saddened Her grin replaced by a solemn frown No longer the princess she once was Forever relinquishing her golden crown Daddy’s little girl cries her tears Silently falling from eyes so red She clenches her fists and calls out Because daddy’s girl wants him dead Her heart is dying more every day Slowly burying itself into the ground Trying hard to forget the pain he’s caused Because, daddy, you let your little girl down ...and yeah...I'm off to class now. PS. Really, I think the professors here secretly want to see our brains explode from the big workloads. -huggums- I love Ren & Hao. What about you?

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Tuesday, September 26, 2006

break time...

DS Time - 1:36 PM Rockin' to the sounds of - Silence So I have a paper due tomorrow and I've been working on it all morning [with the occasional distraction that always happens when I'm on the computer]. No worries, I have one more page to type up...and a work cited. Dern I almost forgot about that. :P What is the source of my distraction this time? Screencaps, from Avatar: the Last Airbender and Sin City, more specifically the Deadly Miho [oh how I love her ^-^]. I've finally managed to find good screencaps of Miho which makes me squeal with glee as now I am able to make lovely icons of her [because there's just not enough Miho out there]. But anyways, that's enough of my ramblings. Back to the reason why I started this post. Here is one of the poems I told you about in the last post. It's called 'China Doll' and the concept actually came about after I saw Memoirs of a Geisha, though I suspect I was pondering something along these lines for a while. Enjoy my lovelies! China Doll Brown eyes glowing in the morning light Head tilted off to the side just right A hand poised to the chest delicately The other resting in the lap relatively Skin dusted strongly in an ivory shade Accenting jewels of beautiful jade Mouth set tight in a passive grin Hair tied back with a simple pin Lips blazing out in a hue of red Drawing you in to every word she said Cheeks painted pink in a heavy blush Stunning all into a quiet hush Draped in the finest of silk clothes Chasing away everyone’s woes With an umbrella safe in hand As timeless as the shifting sands Placed on a pedestal of pure gold Forced to do all that she is told Caged in a prison of beauty and grace Bound and shackled with ribbons and lace Following behind like a dog on a leash Knowing her freedom is just out of reach Remaining loyally by her owner’s side Standing tall and erect with false pride Meant to serve as candy for the eye Bound to you until the day I die There to come whenever you call Now and forever, I am your China doll PS. I've got an exam tomorrow too. -_-' -huggums- I love Ren & Hao. What about you?

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Thursday, September 21, 2006

   With rain comes...actually, I'm not sure...

DS Time - 12:25 PM Rockin' to the sounds of - The rain outside my window So I did something I hadn't done in a long while: I finished composing a poem...two actually. I think the last one I wrote was back in March. And that one was a revision of one I had written before (the original was crap, trust me). But I managed to accomplish the writing of two well developed poems (at least they are in my opinion). I had been struggling with them for a long while simply because...well I've just had no inspiration for it. But it's like I always say: inspiration hits you at the oddest times. When did it hit me? When I was in American Literature 2 listening to a class discussion about a movie I hadn't watched. And I guess I owe part of my inspiration to Shakespeare cuz I started thinking about couplets and how they work. With that in mind I got thru the first poem easily. The second one proved to be a little bit more stubborn but I churned that one out in the same day. Heh, I showed my friend and she said that I 'got bitchsmacked good' by my muse. And I'd have to agree with her. Well that's all I really have to say. Remind me to show the poems to you one day. For now I have homework to do. PS. I just got back from passing my driving test. ^-^ -monster huggums- I love Ren & Hao. What about you?

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Sunday, September 17, 2006

one of those things...

DS Time - 11:28 PM Rockin' to the sounds of - "Toy Soldiers" by Eminem Some people are just...so adorably cheesy sometimes. I saw that guy, whom I'll call JR [because I'm tired of calling him 'the/that guy'], again in the computer lab. Seeing as how that's where I spend the majority of my time on campus when I'm not in class, I'll most likely see him there from now on. Anyways, the dork sent me an email while sitting right next to me. And trust me, I say dork in an endearing sort of way. Heh. It was one of those things that's cheesy but cute. He sounds so great, no? -blushes a little- But, I don't know. We both seem a bit too shy [not to mention busy] to really do anything serious. He has a double major to deal with and me...well, let's me honest. I can be a bit anti-social at times. My friends have told me that I've got charm. Now if only I knew how to use it more often. I've been trying to work on that as you can tell with my efforts concerning this guy. But Rome wasn't built in a day and trying to change my mannerisms after a decade will be hard. But I'm hopeful about it. Cuz he seems nice [and am I just imagining things or does he seem interested as well?]. Things on the school front seem to be doing well though I hate the fact that all of my classes decided to have their exams in the same week. Not to mention all their papers are practically due at the same time. They must really want to see the brains of an Asian girl explode. :P Personal stuff still getting in the way of life, but what do you expect? It happens that way sometimes. Lately I've found myself in the mood to hit something, something hard [so those of you who were going to suggest I hit a pillow, sorry no]. I'm not sure why. I'm not angry or anything, nothing emotional like that. I think more than anything it's the stress. Father drama, school crap, and personal issues are kind of all adding up I suppose. But I'm hanging on there, because I'm a trooper. PS. I'm still smiling. -huggums to everyone who needs the love- ^-^ I love Ren & Hao. What about you?

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Tuesday, September 12, 2006

   Memories...

DS Time - 7:22 PM Rockin' to the sounds of - 'Heartbreak Lullaby' by Dreamnote Things from the past seem to be haunting me as of late. It's nearing that time a few years back where things got a little scary in my life for one weekend. I don't want to go into detail because...truthfully I never really told anyone about it. Maybe another time. I'll just continue to let everyone else believe that it has to do with this 9/11 deal. It happened within a week of each other so why not? Ugh, enough of the sad dramatics. Time to put on a happy face. Because smiles are contagious! And well...meh. Things have been a bit boring. After the first week or so of school things pretty much fall into a routine. I'm not sure if I've said that before or not but it's true. Maybe I'll make plans with my cousin for her birthday. She's turning 18 and it's her first year of college. I haven't had time to hang out with her at all on campus because our schedules allows us little to no time to just chill. Leave it to school to take all the fun out of life. Well I've got two exams tomorrow so I'll be off. PS. -huggums to whoever cares to recieve one- I love Ren & Hao. What about you?

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Sunday, September 3, 2006

-is too shocked to think of a snazzy subjet line-

DS Time - 9:50 PM Rockin' to the sounds of - 'Far Away From Home' by Groove Coverage -clears throat- Well as you remember from last time I mentioned a guy I met at school. I do believe I said that I would go into detail of how I met him and got his email address. So sit down and get comfy, loves. I'll do my best to make this as brief as possible. It was about the third day of the school year and my second day of school since I only have classes three days a week. I was waiting in line to buy some books for class when the guy in front of me turns around and starts a conversation about the prices of books and stuff. We eventually start discussing about the changes made around campus and such things (this is all while we're still standing in line waiting to buy books mind you). I find out that his name is Jael and that he's a senior. Then his turn comes to pay for his things and I say my goodbyes, thinking I'll never see him again. Come two days later while I'm in one of the computer labs at school, the same guy walks in, sees me, and proceeds to sit down next to me. We have another nice conversation where I find out that he mixes techno music and he offers to make me a CD of his songs. And thanks to a chat I had with my friend before hand, I ask the guy for his email and he gives it to me. He made a MySpace page and added me as his first friend. Now let's say it together, people: 'Aww!' But that's not the end of it. I just got a message on MySpace from him...and the guy gave me his number! -squees- I'm such a girl sometimes. XP How awesome is that though? I'm chatting with my friend right now and she's telling me to call him tomorrow. I'm nervous though. -bites nails- PS. This is all so exciting, no? -huggums- I love Ren & Hao. What about you?

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Monday, August 28, 2006

The trouble of getting books...

DS Time - 12:58 PM Rockin' to the sounds of - "Broken" by Seether with Amy Lee This will be a short rant I swear. Well that was a waste of my time. How does this stupid university expect me to be prepared for class when they don't have the proper books for me to get? I've been checking everyday I'm at school and they still don't have the book I need for my Amer Lit 2 class. And the professor said that we had a quiz on Wednesday. I haven't done any of the readings yet because I haven't been able to do any of it. Now isn't that just screwed up? On a positive note, I met a cute guy last week. He seemed like he liked me in that way but you can never be too sure. Maybe he was being extra nice and sweet. Either way I got the boy's email. Awesome, no? I'll go into detail how I met him and got his email another time. Trust me it's someone interesting and, I do believe, fate oriented. PS. Some things do happen for a reason. -huggums- I love Ren & Hao. What about you?

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