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Female
Member Since
• 2005-03-28
Personal
Achievements
• I guess the fact that I actually submitted wallpapers to this site. I can be quite the shy one and I don't usually show anyone work that I do.
Anime Fan Since
• I'd give a number, but it makes me feel too old....
Favorite Anime
• One Piece (not the monstrosity 4Kids created mind you), Yu Yu Hakusho, Inuyasha, Tenchi Muyo!, Trigun, Fruits Basket, Rurouni Kenshin, Bleach, Naruto, Tsubasa, Fullmetal Alchemist, and more
Goals
• to buy enough manga to break my bookself (its getting there)
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myOtaku.com: DreamsOfReality
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Sunday, June 25, 2006
So what's up everyone? It's been a while since I've posted. I don't know how many people will really read this and no one knows me too well, but I really felt the need to just write to make myself feel better. If you read, great, if not, its all good. Guess just writing will make me feel at ease.
In any case, as of today I became single. It’s a big hit, seeing that we were only two weeks shy of our four year anniversary. We started dating when I was 19, I’m now 23…
He’s not a bad person, but I wouldn’t necessarily call the relationship healthy. I’ve felt for so long that I’ve lost myself in order to make him happy and keep him around. I’ve had to down play things like my love of anime and not talk about it, I’ve almost felt like I’ve been hiding certain things I like for fear that I would loose what I had. I started to become blind to what was happening and I began to close out some of my closest friends feeling that he would be unhappy if I focused on them rather than him. I always felt like I had to be there for him – like I couldn’t do anything but wait and be there for whenever he was looking…
Wow, this is so hard to sum up so it makes sense, but, for example, he didn’t like the music I listened to, he felt it was too depressing, so rather than say “well if you don’t like it, tough, its who I am” I was weak and tried to force myself into other things. I’ve seen it all falling apart for a while, but I was in denial. I didn’t want to admit that it was coming to an end…that our interests were too different…but its come to that point…
Right now I’m feeling ok, I’ll probably have my moments, but that’s life. I’ll be thankful 5 years from now when I find someone who I can completely be myself in front of and be totally accepted.
I went out today and treated myself to the remaining Furuba volumes I didn’t own (which was 6-9) and the new A.F.I. CD, so yeah, I’m already doing what I want to…
In closing (and on a lighter note) I’ll leave you with a picture of Robin, Chopper, and Zoro staring at an imprint of Sanji on the wall…
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