Tuesday, June 27, 2006

   The Whole Abercrombie Story
Part 1
me and Kay-::walk into Abercrombie and Fitch::
preppy guy-::swings around in a dramatic way to look at us and tosses his hair:: Like how may I help u?
Kay-Ummm...do u have any Vans?
preppy guy-Hello we're not a car store and vans are just icky...god get some class.::goes back to staring at himself in the mirror and applies more blush::
Kay-OMG...is he wearing makeup?!?!
me-That might explain his really pink lips.
Kay-I'm scared.
me-He's very...::lights go out and the doors are closed and locked::
Kay-OMG...we're stuck in Abercrombie and Fitch for the night!!!!!!!!!!!!
me and Kay-::scream::
me-We're gonna die!!!!!!!
Kay-OMG...someone's coming.
Katherine-::walks in::
me-Oh great. First we're stuck in Abercrombie and Fitch and then the 8th grade whore shows up...this can't get worse.
Michael Jackson-::walks in::
Kay-Hey it got worse!!!
me-Great.
MJ-Lets just make the best of it. Group hug!!!! ::everyone slowly backs up::
me-This definately can't get worse. ::George Bush enters::
Kay-You just had to say that.
me and Kay, and Katherine, and MJ, and Bush-::sit around a plug in fire singing camp songs::
Katherine-I'm hungry.
George Bush-Let's roast the moose head on the wall.
MJ and Katherine-YAY!!!
me and Kay-::look at each other and try and break down the door but sadly doesn't work.

Part 2
Kay-NOOOOOOO!!!! The door won't open!!!
me-So...we're stuck in here...with these creepy people.
Katherine-::comes out of a dressing run:: Do these jeans make me look fat?
MJ-OMG...there soooooo perfect on u.
Katherine-Oh Michael you're like my best friend ever. ::jumps up and hugs MJ::
me and Kay-::eyes grow wide and back up slowly::
Kay-This is like a horror movie and I don't think we're gonna like the ending to it either.
Bush-Hey...this moose head is hollow!!!
me-No duh u monkey...like they'd put a REAL moose head on the wall.
Salad Fingers-::walks in::
everyone-::looks creeped out and backs away::
Salad Fingers-I like rusty spoons. ::evil laugh::
everyone-::screams out in horror::
me-OMG...it so did get worse.
Salad Fingers-::starts walking towards everyone breathing deeply::
everyone-::looks at him in horror::
Salad Fingers-Helloooo...my name is...Salad Fingers. I like rusty spoons. May I ask where u keep your spoons.
Katherine-We don't have any spoons u olive headed green freak.
Salad Fingers-::screams a shrilling cry::
Kay-OMG make it stop!!!!!

Part 3
Kay-Why won't he shut up?
me-I think the 8th grade whore hurt his feelings.
Salad Fingers-::crawls into a clothes rack and starts rocking back and forth::
Katherine-HEY I'm NOT AN 8TH GRADE WHORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kay-Odd.
MJ-Hey Salad Fingers come join us around the camp fire.
me-If u could call it a camp fire.
Salad Fingers-::slowly crawls out of clothes rack over to plug in camp fire::
MJ-Now isn't this nice...6 friends sitting around a camp fire roasting a plastic moose head.
me-I hardly call us friends.
MJ-Sure we're all friends. This calls for a sleepover at my place.
everyone-NO!!!!!!!
Katherine-OMG!!!! I know what we should do!!!!! Lets tell scary stories. Salad Fingers u go first.
Salad Fingers-Well...I was walking around my house...and I noticed...that I no longer...had...ANY RUSTY SPOONS!!!! ::starts screaming his head off::
everyone-::looks at Salad Fingers in an odd way::
Katherine-Ok Adrienne...u go next.
me-Well this may be the scariest story you've ever heard. So me and my friend Kay go into Abercrombie and Fitch and meet this gay sales guy. Then we get locked in. Then comes in the 8th grade whore. Then it gets worse and a child freak guy comes in. Then a monkey has to make things worse. Then some salad guy enters. And i'm stuck in Abercrombie and Fitch with a bunch of freaks.
Kay-I agree.
everyone-::looks at me and Kay with red in their eyes and they attack::

Part 4
This part of the story however is being written by Kay. So anyways here it is...



MEANWHILE-

security cop jack stalks food court- i love carrots! ::starts singing the mr. rogers theme song::
security cop mack- i love fire! ::skips to theme song buddy jack is singing::

back in abercrombie, katherine contents herself with a shirt that sports "abercrombie bitch"

me-that shirt looks good on you
mj- omg, i want you! i mean it! ::looks around frantically::can i try it on?
me- uhh....i don't think you fit that catagory- try this one on-::grabs shirt sporting "i love little kids!! let me baby sit yours!"
adrienne-omg, that just fits you mj!!
salad fingers-.......spoons.... stalking... walls!!!! closing in!!!!!!!!!!! AIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEGHHHH!!!!
::runs into nearby mirror::
clerk guy- hey that was MY mirror!!! ::mirror shatters::
adrienne-....hahahaha...you broke that mirror
president- i declare war on this cologne!!
::breaks cologne bottle and cuts hand and everyone stares::
me-uhh... who did you vote for salad fingers?
salad fingers- ::lies twitching on carpet floor::
kath- i can't breathe!! ::faints dramatically::
adrienne- WOOO!! there goes one problem! ha! and i didn't have to bring out Bird Girl!!
me-........omg.... did you hear that?
Bird Girl- yes i did
me- ::turns around and sees Bird Girl stalking shadows:: you Fiend!!!
adrienne- i thought you were allergic to salad ::points to man with salad fingers with foam seeping out mouth and nose::
Bird Girl- for everything there's Claritin, for everything else, use MasterCard
me- that doesn't make sense
adrienne- i want salad
me- i have spoons.
salad fingers-::flips into air:: SPOOONSSSSSS
President- COOOOOOOOOOOOOKIE! CRISP....
me- .... i love that cereal.
adrienne- i love Trix..... because they were for kids.
::secruity cops mack and jack walk in:: security cop mack- i love CoCoa Pebbles
me- you like rocks?
::spots fire::OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! OPEN FIRE!! I"M TELLING SMOKEY BEAR(tm) ON YOU!!! ::throws self in the fake plug-in fire and begins to smoke::
adrienne-omg you are so hot
security cop jack-NOOOO!!! man down!!! man down!!
Bird Girl- squak.... i love crackers!
katherine-i love anchovies and garlic
me- you mean florida crackers?
Bird Girl- duh, why else would i live here?
salad fingers- i love ranch dressing ::starts holding conversations with mirror::
president- i love glasses ::takes out huge spectacles:: blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblha...
::everyone execpt salad fingers stares::
security cop Jack pulls security cop Mack out of fire-WHY, MACK, WHY?!?!?!
security cop Mack- i love fire. do you have a horse?
me-to adrienne- let's dig ourselves out with my spoo....sporks.
security cop Mack- i love fire. do you have a horse?
adrienne-okay
Salad fingers- I. HATE. SPORKS!!! ::detonates on mj and katherine::
::me and adrienne stare::
unknown source- do you need help with your foons?
adrienne- sporks. not foons, sporks.
me-......is that you larry?
larry- why yes it is, but you can call me walter if you wish.
president- i wish i had a balloon. oh wait, i already have one. blah blahblahblah, hey.
walter/larry- i see the future.
me- i'm cold. move, mack, i want fire.
mack- MINE!!! my glasses!!! my fire!! my.....Jack? where am i?
Jack- ::tear::..... sniff* we're at work...
president-... hello, boys. are you new here? i didn't recall seeing any one worthy of second glance ::everyone glares::
larry-who in bob's name are you? for my name is bob, you know
president-why i'm the president of the United States, thank u very much.
bob- did...you call me?
katherine- i may be covered in mr. late salad fingers, but that doesn't mean you have to shy away from me, you hot store clerk you....
store clerk- i have some band-aids
katherine- i love you too
mj- i thought what we had was special!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is why i prefer little boys.
::everyone stares::
larry- wow.
me-How do you talk?
walter- i don't know. who are you?
me- uhh, i disremember.
store clerk- this kid is rabid
larry walter-::foams at unopened plastic mouth::
me-OMG!!! NOT YOU TOOO!!
::store clerk walks over and strips larry/walter of marlyn manson shirt:: no more punk shirts for you!! you..sexy... maniquan *twisted grin overcomes innoccent prep face*
larry/walter- i regret not having legs right now
me-i'll save yo-
katherine- you man whore!!! i hate you!!! ::runs up and slaps store clerk with slimed-green hand::.....hey big man... ::sneaks up to president::
president- as the prez of the Uunited states i COMMAND you to get away from my personal manaquin!!!
larry/walter- i should have forseen this.
me-why didn't you?
larry- i can only see what's gonna happen at random times and the last thing i saw was a walking celery sti-OMG!!!!!!!!!
::Gumby comes in riding Pokey::
Gumby- how ya'll doing?
me- omg you sound so funny.... like a nerd.
Gumby-.... well i don't think you can be called a walking celery stick.
adrienne- he's right, kay.
me-.....president, get off the plastic talking future seeing manaquin!!! he is not for sale!! ....and if you can not tell by his "rock against bush" shirt, he fancies you in no shape, form, or fashion.
adrienne- ....wha? ::looks:: o my gah i'm gonna hurl
Bird Girl- o my god, i'm allergic to affection!!! EEEKKK!!! ::throws self in a dressing room and starts rocking back and forth curled in a ball::
gumby- i came to see how ya'll were doing.
me- omg, wishes DO come true!!! ::throws self at gumby's stubby foot-thing::
::Pokey commences to lick the departed-salad man's guts off the horrified Kath::
pokey- is this ranch?
adrienne- omg you can talk!
me- omg you sound like a mexican!!
pokey-si, senorita.
larry- i'm about to fall off my stand.
me- omg i think i'm gonna toss my cookies. ::tosses president out nearest window::
pokey- that tasted interesting.
adrienne-where's the fire?
::everybody looks::
store clerk- where did those two cute security cops get off too? ::jealous::
me- MACK!!!
Jack- Mack's not here.
adrienne- where are you two?
Mack- we don't know
::Bird Girl shrieks:: WHERE DID YOU GUYS COME FROM!!!! GHOSTS!!!
::Bird Girl falls running away and mask falls off::
everyone- GASP!!!


Who lies behind the Bird Girl's mask? And where did security cop Mack and security cop Jack appear from? last of all, how will Kay and Adrienne get out this weird and terrifying store? stay tuned next time, for the new adventures of "who the heck are you?! and where am i?"

Part 5
So we last left off where Bird Girl's mask falls off and Security Cops Mack and Jack are missing or w/e. Most importantly how will Kay and Adrienne ever get out of this horrible store? On to the next part in the story!!!



Bird Girl-::falls while running away and mask falls off::

Everyone-GASP!!

Bird Girl-::looks up to reveal that she is indeed Paris Hilton::

Everyone-That's hot!!!!

Paris Hilton-Ok...I'm Bird Girl.

Kay-Ummm...we kinda figured that out by now!!!

Katherine-Omg...you're like my most favorite person EVER!!!!! I try my best to be like your twin. I've even become a walking slut like u!!!

Me-No kidding.

Paris Hilton-Hello...no one can ever be as slutty as me.

Katherine-Watch this. ::walks up and tries to kiss the store clerk::

Store Clerk-Omg...ewwwwww!!!!

Katherine-He's so cute when he says ewww. Come here hot stuff!!!

Store Clerk-::runs and hides behind the big moose head ::

MJ-::walks up to Gumby and starts fluttering his eyelashes::

Gumby-Hi...do I know u?

MJ-U should. I've been all over the news. ::starts doing the moon walk::

Kay-Now that's just creepy.

Larry the Manaquin-Hide me!!!

Store Clerk-Hey ya’ll…I got some REALLY bad news to tell ya’ll.

Kay-What is it?!?! Is the sky falling?!?!

Store Clerk-NO…even worse!!!!

Everyone-Well what is it?!?!?!?!

Store Clerk-My hair has lost it’s prettiness!!!!

Everyone-::looks at him like he’s crazy::

Store Clerk-Oh yeah…an another thing. Hurricane Billy Joe Piccolo is headed our way…therefore the mall will be closed up to a week…maybe more.

Kay and Me-NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kay-We’re gonna die in here.

Me-I didn’t plan to go like this.

MJ-::chases after Gumby::

Gumby-Get him away from me…he’s scary!!!!

MJ-Ready or not here I come my precious celery buddy.

Pokey-::kicks MJ in the face and MJ’s nose falls off::

Katherine-Ewwwwww!!!!!

MJ-My nose!!!!

Paris Hilton-That’s hot!!! Noses falling off of a guy are a big turn on.

Kay and Me-WTF?!?!?!

Larry the Manaquin-Hey…did ya’ll know that Security Cops Mack and Jack just left with all the fried rice from the food court.

Katherine-Yum…I love fried rice and celery. ::eyes Gumby in a hungry way::

Store Clerk-Well…there goes my chances with those hot cops. ::crawls to a corner and starts to cry::

Kay-How pathetic!!!

Larry the Manaquin-We better just make the best of this. For now let us sleep.

Paris Hilton-He’s odd.

Kay-::goes off and makes a tent out of all the clothes::

Katherine-::sneaks up to sales clerk and ties him up so he won’t run away from her::

MJ-::crawls over to a sleeping Gumby and kisses him::

Gumby-::wakes up and punches MJ and MJ’s hair falls off his head::

Paris Hilton-I didn’t know u were bald.

MJ-I’d rather not talk about it.

Everyone-::falls asleep ::

Kay-::wakes up from a deep sleep and looks beside her to see a king with a huge plastic head::

Unknown Voice-NEW…the double croissanwich!!

Kay-::looks very scared::

The King-::sits there with that big plastic smile::

Unknown Voice-Egg and meat and cheese and meat and cheese.

The King-::hands Kay the double croissanwich::

Kay-::looks at it in an odd way::

Unknown Voice-That’s right….the double croissanwich.

The King-::puts his hand on Kay’s knee and throws back his huge plastic head laughing::

Kay-::looks sickened::

Unknown Voice-WAKE UP WITH THE KING!!!!!

Kay-::runs out of the clothes tent carrying the double croissanwich::

Paris Hilton-Yum…I love the double croissanwich!!!

Kay-Here take it.

Paris Hilton-That’s hot!!!!

The King-::sticks his giant plastic head out of the tent::

Paris Hilton-::drops the croissanwich:: Omg…you’re sooooo hot. ::runs up and kisses The King on his huge plastic mouth::

Meanwhile...Kay manages to get the rest of the people up to tell her horrifying story.

Kay-Omg…it was horrible!!! He was half man…half plastic!!!!!!!!!!!!

me-Kinda like Britney Spears.

Kay-Exactly…only he had a huge head and there was this voice….

MJ-What kinda voice?

Kay-A creepy voice. ::shudder::

Gumby-What was it saying?

Kay-Egg and meat and cheese and meat and cheese.

Everyone except Kay-Egg and meat and cheese and meat and cheese?!?!

Kay-::pulls on her hair:: STOP SAYING IT!!!!!!

Katherine-Egg and meat and cheese and meat and cheese!!! Wow that’s catchy.

Paris Hilton-::walks in with The King’s arm around her:: Guess what?!?!? The King and I are getting married!!! ::holds out her hand with a gummy lifesaver on it.

Kay-::screams:: THAT’S HIM!!!!!!

Katherine-Egg and meat and cheese and meat and cheese.

Larry the Manaquin-Ok…now it’s getting old Karen.

Katherine-It’s Katherine!!!!

And so began the wedding of the slut and the half man half plastic king.

Paris Hilton-::walks down the aisle to the cash register where The King is standing::

Store Clerk-::stands there looking at himself in the mirror:: Oh…ummm…we are brought here today to marry this whore to this one hot guy…The King.

Paris Hilton-I always knew my wedding would be in Abercrombie and Fitch. ::gets a distant gaze in her eyes::

Store Clerk-::pounces on The King and starts to kiss him and The King puts his arms around the extremely hot store clerk::

Paris Hilton-Omg…you’re cheating on me!!!

Store Clerk-Sorry honey…The King and I are a couple now. Ain’t that right sweetheart?

The King-::nods and starts to kiss the store clerk::

Store Clerk-An there ain’t nothin u can do about it. ::snaps his finger in Paris Hilton’s face::

Kay and Me-::look at each other very scared::

Unknown Person-Hello!!!

Kay-OMG…I’m hearing things again!!!! It’s the voices…they NEVER stop.

Unknown Person-I’m Sean Biggerstaff

Me-::screams then faints::

Sean Biggerstaff-What’s wrong with her?

Kay-She’s like in love with u.

Me-::wakes up:: Will u marry me Sean?

Sean Biggerstaff-Sure!!!!

Me-Ekkkkk!!!

And so begins the 2nd wedding of the day.

Store Clerk-Does my hair look ok?

Everyone-YES!!!!!!

Store Clerk-I’m sorry King sweetie…I can’t spend every minute kissing u.

Kay-Oh forget him…I always wanted to be a marriage person!!!!

Me-U did?

Kay-Of coarse…it’s such a beautiful thing!!!!

Me-::looks at Kay like she finally lost it::

Kay-So…we came here today to marry this Florida girl with this Scottish guy. Nice kilt!!!! Can I borrow it?

Sean Biggerstaff-Thanks…it’s my special events kilt so no u can’t borrow it but I’ll buy u one if u want.

Kay-Goody!!!! Anyways do u Sean Biggerstaff take this Florida girl to be your wife?

Sean Biggerstaff-I do.

Kay-Really?!?! Even though she’s totally insane.

Sean Biggerstaff-Yes…I do even though she’s totally insane.

Me-YAY!!!!

Kay-And do u Adrienne take this Scottish boy to be your husband?

Me-I do.

Kay-I now pronounce u husband and wife!!! U may now hug the bride!!!!

Everyone-HUG?!?!?!

Kay-Well…yeah…I’m so sick of seeing people being kissed.

Sean Biggerstaff-::hugs me::

Gumby-::kisses Kay:: Bless u sweet girl…bless u!!!

Katherine-Let’s party till the cows come home!!!!!!

Cow-MOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Kay-Awww…he’s so cute. Can we keep the cow?

MJ-Sure…he’ll be good BBQ.

Paris Hilton-And he’ll make an excellent cow hair coat.

Kay-NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Not Mary Jane!!!!!!!!

Everyone-Mary Jane?!?!?!

Kay-Yeah…I just named her.



And so ends this part of the story. What will happen between the Store Clerk and The King?

Will Kay and Gumby become an item? Will everyone start listening to bagpipe music? And most importantly what will become of Mary Jane the cow?!?!?!? Stay tuned next time to find out what will happen.

Part 6
So we last left off with this mysterious cow called Mary Jane appearing. Sean Biggerstaff and Adrienne also got married. Also The King and the Store Clerk became an “item.” On to the next part in the story!!!!

Kay-NO…don’t eat Mary Jane!!!!!!!!!!
Mary Jane-Whoa now girlfriend u best step away from me!!!! U crazy.
Everyone-U TALK?!?!?!
Mary Jane-::rolls eyes:: Whatever…u humans sure is stupid.
Kay-You’re using incorrect grammar!!!!
Mary Jane-Shadup!!! I’m runnin business now!!!!
Everyone-::backs away slowly::
Paris Hilton-Oh please…like I’m taking orders from a cow!!!
Mary Jane-MOOOOOO!!!! ::charges at Paris Hilton::
Paris Hilton-OMG!!! ::starts running::
Mary Jane-::tramples over Paris Hilton::
Paris Hilton-::whispers:: That’s…hot…::dies::
Kay-Is…she…dead…?!?!?!?
MJ-I think so….
Katherine-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! My idol is gone forever. ::throws self onto Paris Hilton:: I won’t let them take u away!!!!
Sean Biggerstaff-::tries to get Katherine off of Paris Hilton:: It’s gonna be ok.
Katherine-No it isn’t!!!! She was the queen of the sluts!!! Now who will I idolize?!?!?!
Me-Well…I guess now you’re the queen of the sluts.
Katherine-OMG…REALLY!?!?!?!?
Larry the Mannequin-She seems a little too excited.
Kay-::hugs Mary Jane:: U FINALLY KILLED PARIS HILTON!!!!!
Mary Jane-Get off me girlfriend!!!! U isn’t right in da head.
Kay-::blank stare::
Gumby-Awwwww Kay don’t be upset…I still love u. ::kisses Kay::
Katherine-Omg…GET A ROOM!!!!
Store Clerk-Awwww how cute!!! ::pounces on the king::
Me-::crawls into a corner::
MJ-::starts singing:: I’m too sexy for my shirt…too sexy for my…
Everyone-EWWWWWWWWWW!!!
MJ-What?!?! It’s the truth.
Kay-Guess what everyone?!?!?!
Everyone-What?
Kay-Gumby and I are a couple now!!!!
Mary Jane-Girlfriend what exactly is wrong with u? You’re dating a piece of celery that talks like a girl!!!!
Gumby-Hey…just because I talk like a girl and sometimes go out clubbing dressed as a girl doesn’t mean I’m not all manly clay!!!!!!!
Me-That’s just wrong.
Mary Jane-MOOOOOO!!! Get these freaks away from!!! ::MJ, the store clerk, Sean Biggerstaff, and Katherine chase after Mary Jane::
2 HOURS LATER
MJ-Yum…that sure was good BBQ.
Pokey-It sure was.
Kay-::burp::
Me-::hits Kay on the back:: It’s gonna be ok::
Store Clerk-::plays clapping games with the king:: Miss. Mary Mack Mack Mack all dressed in black black black with silver buttons buttons buttons all down her back back back…
Gumby-::comes out in a pink dress and a curly blond wig::
Sean Biggerstaff-That is sooooo wrong.
The King-::eyes Gumby::
Store Clerk-Hey…celery thing…stay away from my man!!!!!
Gumby-I…can’t…take…this…anymore!!!! I’m…not…a…piece…of…celery!!!! ::blows up::
Katherine-Whoa…fireworks.
Everyone-Uh…ah!!!!
Pokey-NO…MY PRECIOUS GUMBY!!!!! ::dies of depression::
Kay-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Not Pokey too!!!!! ::falls to the ground:: Leave me be all ye people. Thou art sad of thou great loss.
Katherine-The Cow was right…u ain’t right in the head.
Kay-::attacks Katherine::
Katherine-::scream::
Unknown Voice-WAIT!!!! Lets not fight…lets exercise!!!
Everyone-WTF?!?!?!
Richard Simmons-::walks in:: Howdy do ya’ll!!!
MJ and Store Clerk and Katherine-::runs up to Richard Simmons:: OMG I’m your BIGGEST fan!!!!
Katherine-U 2 aren’t his biggest fan by a long shot.
Store Clerk-Yeah right little girl…I’ve been exercising with Richard before u were born.
Me-Somehow that doesn’t sound right.
MJ-Well me and the boys who sleep over at my house have a Richard Simmons marathon every Thursday night.
Kay and Me-EWWWWWWW!!! Child molester!!!!
MJ-I…AM…NOT…A…CHILD…MOLESTER…I…JUST…LIKE…2…PLAY…
WITH…LITTLE...BOYS!!!!!!!!!!
Everyone-::blank stare::
Richard Simmons-So…lets sit in a circle and get to know each other!!! I’ll start first!!! YAY I LOVE THIS GAME!!! ::blush:: Ok my name is Richard and I like to exercise and wear colorful clothes and make people feel happy!!! ::laughs really girly::
Katherine-HI I’M KATHERINE!!!!! I’m a whore. Ummm…I’ve been going behind my best friend’s back with her boyfriend. Oh yeah…I’m the queen of the sluts!!!
Everyone-U WHORE!!!!!!!!!
Kay-Hi…I’m Kay…and I like HOTWHEELS.
Me-Hi…I’m Adrienne and I like llamas.
Llama-Did someone say llama?
Me-Eeekkk…a llama. Can I keep u as my pet llama?
Llama-Sure!!!!
Me-What’s your name?
Llama-Microsoft the Llama.
Me-AWWWWW…HOW CUTE!!! Can we keep him Sean.
Sean Biggerstaff-Uhhh…I guess so.
Larry the Mannequin-Hey I’m Larry and I’m actually a girl.
Everyone-::backs away::
Richard Simmons-That’s even too nasty for me to handle.
Kay-::pulls out a chainsaw from her pocket:: You’re going down.
Larry the Mannequin-No…u wouldn’t…please don’t!!!
BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!
And that was the end of Larry the Mannequin. The mannequin was made into fire wood.
A moment of silence please. ::silence:: On with the story!!!!!
Richard Simmons-Maybe this whole getting to know each other thing wasn’t such a good idea.
Microsoft the Llama-No kidding.
Richard Simmons-::flutters his eyelashes and looks at the store clerk:: Hey sexy.
Kay and Me-EWWWWWW!!!!! ::runs and hides in corners::
The King-::turns all evil and even more creepy looking and attacks::
Well this is where I stop. Stay tuned to find out what the king does…god only knows what that crazy plastic king could do when he’s mad.

Part 7-The Finale Chapter
This is the finale chapter in the Abercrombie Story. All good things must come to an end. ::starts passing out tissues:: Anyways we last left off with the King going mad. What will happen next? Read on to find out!!!!



The King-::eyes turn all red and he starts to melt::

Kay-O_O

Katherine-O_o

MJ-Z_Z ::starts snoring::

Sean Biggerstaff-::starts laughing::

Store Clerk-U_U

Microsoft the Llama-*_*

Me-^_^

Richard Simmons-X_X

The King-::sizzle:: Sssmmmaaarrrmmmeeee!!!!!!!!

Sean Biggerstaff-Smarme????

TheKing-::evil deep voice:: I will return!!!! Mwhahahahaha!!!!! ::face melts off and a hole enters in the middle of the room and eats the King::

The Hole-SQUIRKY!!!!!!!

Everyone-O_O

Katherine-Hey…is Richard Simmons dead?!?!

Ronald McDonald-Why yes my dear girl…he had 1 too many cheeseburgers. ::picks up Richard Simmons::

Kay-Where are u taking him?

Ronald McDonald-To the magical land of the nuggets!!! ::disappears with Richard Simmons::

Kay-Wow that was odd.

Store Clerk-Hey everyone…it’s SNOWING!!!!!!!!

Me-::shiver:: I hate the cold.

Sean Biggerstaff-How is it snowing inside?

Microsoft the Llama-Baaaaaaa!!!!!!! ::starts prancing in the snow::

MJ-MY NOSE!!!!!!!!!! It fell in the snow and I can’t find it!!!!

Me-Lalalalalalalalalalala ::hugs Sean Biggerstaff::

The Snow Stops

Katherine-Hey why’d it stop?!?!?!?

Snow-Yo because we felt like it dawg!!!

Kay-Snow talks ghetto? Hmmm…very interesting.

MJ-::starts singing in a girl’s voice:: Does he love me I wanna know?!?!?!?! How can I tell if he loves me so?!?! Is it in his eye?!?! Lalalalalalala!!!!!!

Katherine-::runs up and kisses Sean Biggerstaff:: Where have u been all my life hot stuff?

Me-::kills Katherine with a machine gun::

Katherine-::dies:: X_x

Kay-Wow u finally killed her. How does it feel to have her gone?

Me-Omg it’s like a new high!!!! ::starts skipping through plastic tulips::

Microsoft the Llama-Yay!!! ::starts doing the Macarena::

Suddenly The Lights Go Out

Store Clerk-::girly scream:: I’m afraid of the dark!!! Who’s touching my leg?!?!

MJ-::girly laugh:: It’s only me sweetie. Wanna come with me little boy?

Kay and Me-O_o

Kay-We have to get out of here.

Me-I know…it’s getting too scary.

Kay-Nothing could be more scary then this.

All of a sudden there was a flash of lighting. It lit up the whole room and there in the window was a face. It was the face of Ms. Bradac!!!!! ::scary music starts playing::

Kay-::scream:: Make it go away!!!!!!!

Me-I wanna go home!!!

The Face of Ms. Bradac-Oops I lied!!!! ::disappears::

Kay and Me-O_O

Kay-We’re alive just barely by the skin of our teeth!!!

MJ-::runs out in a mini skirt and a tank top:: I’m too sexy for shirt too sexy for my…

Microsoft the Llama-I’m too sexy for my pants…

Store Clerk-::starts applying mascara and eye shadow and lip gloss:: Should I go with Kissable Princess or Electric Shock?

Sean Biggerstaff-Go with Kumquat Tropical Island.

Microsoft the Llama-Are u gay or something Sean?

Sean Biggerstaff-Ummm…no I’m married.

Store Clerk-I’m as straight as cooked spaghetti.

Microsoft the Llama-Well then Store Clerk can u help me with something?

Store Clerk-My name is Eugene but sure I’ll help u.

Me-::dies laughing::

Kay-Eugene…::falls to the floor laughing::

Store Clerk-Shut up…just call me Store Clerk.

Microsoft the Llama-I really wanna find a cute girl llama to be my girlfriend. ::blushes::

Store Clerk-I’ll help u find one but first u gotta get rid of that huge afro.

Microsoft the Llama-NO NOT MY FRO!!!!!!

Unknown Voice-Excuse me but I really think your afro is cute and your really hot.

In Walks A Girl Llama With Pink Bows In Her Hair

Microsoft the Llama-O_O Your H-O-T!!!!!!!!!

Girl Llama-My name is Lala. Wanna be my boyfriend?

Microsoft the Llama-I sure do!!!!

Lala the Llama-::kisses Microsoft the Llama behind a curtain::

Kay and Me-::starts dancing to techno music::

All Of A Sudden A Bunch Of Preps Walk Through The Doors To Abercrombie And Fitch

Kay-WTF?!?!?

Me-WE’RE FREE!!!!!!!!!

Store Clerk-::goes back to flipping his hair in the mirror:: Damn I’m sexy.

MJ-::disappears::

Microsoft the Llama and Lala the Llama-::gallop off into the unknown::

Me-I’m gonna miss him. ::starts crying::

Kay-I love happy endings.

Me-This isn’t a happy ending!!!!

Sean Biggerstaff-I have a flight out to Scotland so I’ll see u when I get home.

Me-NOOOO!!!!!!! Take me with u::

Sean Biggerstaff-::hops in a random plane and flies off::

Kay-Hey it’s just u and me again. Wow what a coincidence.

Me-::rolls eyes:: Whatever lets go before the preps kill us with there perfume.

Kay-I agree.

Prep Comes Walking By Spraying Perfume Like There’s No Tomorrow

Me-::cough cough…dies:: X_X

Kay-::dies:: X_x



The End



What Happen To The Last Remaining Characters



Michael Jackson-He’s now putting out a new country album called “Where’s My Nose?” Other then that Michael has done nothing new other then harass little boys but that’s nothing new people.

Microsoft the Llama-He’s enjoying a well deserved vacation in Honolulu with his wife Lala the Llama. Microsoft the Llama is coming out with his debut rap album titled “Fo Shizzle I’m A Ghetto Lllama.”

Store Clerk-Well he’s still working at Abercrombie…though I wouldn’t call flipping your hair every 10 seconds and hogging the mirror working.

Sean Biggerstaff-He’s somewhere flaunting around in his kilt. Sadly things didn’t work out between him and me

Kay-She went completely insane shortly after the whole Abercrombie experience but then again who wouldn’t.

Me-I survived the whole Abercrombie experience but I’m still haunted by images of the king. I spend my days feeding the duckies trying to stay in my happy place but after an experience like that I’m surprised I still even have a happy place.



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