Saturday, April 30, 2005

   bored much? yes....
here are some funny quotes....

A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a Unicorn.

I don't mind arguing with myself its when I lose that troubles me.

Scientists say one out of every four people is crazy. Check three friends, if they're alright you are it.

Join the Army! Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.

Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?" (lol)

It takes 42 muscles to frown, but just 28 muscles to smile. Though it only takes 4 muscles to reach out and slap someone in the mouth. Give it a try - it's such good stress relief.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. (yesss)

If You Drink Don't Park, Accidents Cause People (lol)

On the other hand, you have different fingers. (lmfao)

My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'

In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line
up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest.
What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?

Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. (that is so true..)

I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you.

Just tell Nemo you couldn't find him because you were getting high. He'll understand.

Quick, pick a color from 1 to 10.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger.Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.

Don't follow my footsteps...I walk into walls.

Itachi the Stoner:

It was now early morning, a fresh new beginning of a bright new day. Itachi was back out on the streets, dressed in his Akatsuki cloak and orange community service vest and ready to pick up trash from the gutters...
"Man, I don't want to do this shit." Itachi quickly looked around to make sure that no one was looking. Then he quickly did a couple hand seals, and boom! Itachi was now surrounded by three of his kagebunshins!
The real Itachi waved hello. "Hey dudes, what's up."
Itachi Clone #1 said, "What's up."
Itachi Clone #2 said, "Got any weed?"
Itachi Clone #3 said, "Man, I'm hungry."
The real Itachi pointed to the cluttered ground. "Hey dudes, listen up. I need you guys to pick up this trash for me while I go and do my sneaky Akatsuki things."
The Itachi clones looked at the ground. Then they looked to the real Itachi. "Do we gotta?"
"Oh man." Itachi groaned. He had forgotten that his clones would be just as lazy as himself. "Yeah, we gotta do this, guys. Come on, if we don't do this, I can't do my top secret Akatsuki stuff."
"Okay, okay..." The three Itachi clones were already not listening to him, becoming distracted and wandering off in three separate directions. "We'll get started soon."
Itachi banged his rake against the ground in an attempt to get their attention. "Not soon, dudes! Now!"
Itachi Clone #2 suddenly stooped over to pick up a coin from the ground. "Sweet! I just found a quarter, guys! Check it out!"
"No shit! Really?!"
The other two clones hustled over to take a look at their comrade's fortune, while the real Itachi held his head in dismay...
Half an hour later. The Itachi clones had still not started on their work. They were busy huddling together on the sidewalk, blowing hot air into their fists in an attempt to stay warm, and trying to bum cigarettes off each other, even though it had already been established long ago that none of them had any smokes on them. Meanwhile, the real Itachi grumbled to himself as he picked up yet another piece of trash from the ground and placed it in his trash bag.
"Fucking clones. Man, if they weren't part of my master plan, I'd have kicked their sorry asses by now."
"Well, well, Itachikun! I am glad to see that you are hard at work today!"
All of the Itachis looked to see Kurenai walking up with a Starbucks mocha cappucino in her hands (apparently she guzzled the stuff like nobody's business). The real Itachi paused in the middle of his work and he waved hello. "Sup babe."
"Good morning to you." Kurenai then looked at the Itachi clones, who were busy leering at her. "Why did you make those clones over there?"
"Ah, I wanted them to help me out with the garbage pickup, but they're being a bunch of lazy dumbasses." The real Itachi called out, "You hear that, you fucking losers?! You're all a bunch of lazy fucknuts!"
One of the Itachi clones made an obscene gesture involving the yanking of his jock. "Yeah, yeah, blow me. We'll get started soon, man, stop bitching already."
Another Itachi clone called out, "Hey lady, you got a cigarette on you?"
Kurenai simply shook her head at the Itachis' appalling behavior, and she turned back to the real Itachi. "Itachikun, you really should stop swearing. The repression of foul language is an important step for rehabilitating your state of mind."
"Hey babe, take it easy, one step at a time, man. I haven't smoked any hippie lettuce for the past twenty four hours, you know. That's gotta count for something, right?"
"Well, I guess that's a step in the right direction."
"Yeah well, I'm doing it all for you, babe." Itachi winked. "So, you doing anything later tonight?"
She smirked at the offhand pass. "Close, but no cigar, Itachikun." She then brightened up. "But then again, you didn't run away last night like that Kisame guy did. That must mean you really want to be rehabilitated! I'm proud of you, Itachikun, I really do hope that you become a decent citizen of Konoha once again."
"Yes!" The real Itachi thought to himself. "She fell for it! My master plan is working! I am so fucking genius!"
"Hey babe, you said that you had a cigar?" The Itachi clones had made their way over. "Can we bum one off you?"

-Duo(-_-')
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