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I know now. I understand. People are just ass-holes.
So my so-called friend had came to town from Hawaii. Now I didn't know him that well, but we were cool. I guess I should have figured by the tone of his voice on Tuesday that he really didn't have any interest in hanging out with me while on his visit. But I was so optimistic, so friggin' sure I was just imaginging things.
Then my friend Moose called and told me to come hang out with them. After all, my friend in Hawaii was leaving soon and I should see him.
Well, after going through so much trouble to see him, I finally get to Jon's house where he is, and Edge is with me the whole time (btw i owe you money for all of that Edge; I'm really sorry)
My hawaiian friend and his friends barely spoke a word to me the whole time I was there. The didn't talk to me, never asked how I was doing, didn't offer the to let me play their game. Nothing. I thought if i say something, it would change, yuo know? Bullshit. They didn't give a damn about me the whole time. Now I know they didn't know me well, but they didn't even offer to try to get to konw me. And my hawaaian friend....I don't think he even wanted me there.
I felt like crying afterwards,. I was so happy to leave early. I just...I almost hated them, But I hated myself more for trying to be friends with them.
i know now. I know people are bastards, and i've learned my lesson of trying to fit in where I'm not wanted and trying to be with people who don't want me. I just have to stay with my friends, the people I know, and no one else.
I guess this is the second milestone of my maturity.; Because I don't feel at all as childish or naive as I was several days ago.
love you all
-Sanji
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