Friday, February 9, 2007

   Dances, Comebacks, and Valentines'
...haha, you thought that was IT, didn't you? Nope, it's time for another one of Uncle E's Homebaked Rants, fresh from the oven.

I'm going to start off slow; school dances. Particularly the ones at Middle School. yeah, I'm veering away from complaining about the High Schools for once and going on with the fact of how much the Middle School dances SUCK. Here's my reasoning...number one; the songs. Hmm, alright, we've got a few decent hits in there (for you ladies and gentleman who think Green Day is the most kickass band in the world), but is it necesarry to play (pardon my language) "ho-bag" songs (or so my friend Jeff refers to them)? I swear, it appears as if we need to hear rap songs like Laffy Taffy and oh-so-favorite hits like Fergielicious (I don't really care if I spelt that wrong, Auntie Ferg). Now, I don't want to seem racist, but...it's kinda building some sort of influence for all the white kids at our school who act black with their crazy boomboxes and low cut jeans and shirts that make them look like "pimpin' gangstahs" and "hawt, phat stuff". Doesn't really build up the cred for you to be cool. Oh wait. Everyone thinks rap is cool these days. No, I'm not racist, and I don't particularly hate people who do this kinda stuff, but I figure I get this out of the way. Dances are only good for filming and posting on youtube. So much drama it kills me. XD

On the topic of coolness; speech and insults. I swear, there's this weird arguement going on and the only comeback this girl can make is, "you're just jealous because I'm fatter then you, twiggy". Hrrm, alright, so you're fatter. How about I carve my initials into your dead mom's skull, shove her rigamortous infected body into your locker (which isn't an easy task; rigamortous is when the body stiffens up after death), and say, "you may be fatter, but I'M more BADASS then you are, bitch!" There's my comeback, fatty. Go on a treadmill, then come up with some new insults. Maybe someone will actually consider going out with you instead of stabbing their eyes out after looking at your face. (I gotta print out this paragraph and shove it in her locker.)

Now, I know this rant is gonna insult SOMEONE. Valentine's Day. I'm not all too fond of the whole concept of Valentine's Day. Seems like a weird market scheme to buy candy and sell it (with the exception of those candy hearts, those things are so damn good). The whole CONCEPT of Valentine's Day is to, well...either confess that you love someone, or show you love your friends no matter what. Most likely the latter. One of my friends called Valentines, "a chance for all the slutty whore girls at school to run around in pink with guys follwing them with cards and roses like lost, lonely, hopeless three legged dogs" (and I won't stop considering that quote to be true, AND funny). On my part...I never actually do anything for Valentines. I take the cards, sure, but I rarely buy anything (I put down something to buy on my [nonexistant] "to do" list, but I highly doubt I can afford it) for anyone at all.

Alright. That's my two cents. And I just wanna confirm I DON'T WANT TO INSULT anyone with my rants. They're just a few paragraphs on my viewpoint. Kinda like a persuasive writing or something like that.

Let's go with that. ^^; And feel free to suggest things for me to talk about. Or rant about. IF I actually hate the topic, I WILL want to rant about it!


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