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myOtaku.com: Ed is sexy


Saturday, May 21, 2005


WHY???

 



An: My internet isn’t working right now, so I am just writing this out if boredom. Also, I didn’t plan this out at all so this is just being made up as I go along.


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Disclaimer: I don’t own Fullmetal Alchemist, or any of its characters, etc etc.



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Random story made from boredom.


AKA: The mystery of the Sparkly Pink Pencil



A fan fiction



By Toyo



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“Nii-san, wake up!” Al poked Ed in the arm, trying to get him to wake up.



“No, I’m tired, leave me alone.” He turned over, and covered his head with his pillow, trying to fall back asleep after having been so rudely awakened.



“But Nii-san!! I’m bored!” Al whined.



“Then go find something to entertain yourself!” Ed yelled angrily, mad that his sleep was being disturbed.



“Nii-san! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!”



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After three hours of yelling at Ed to wake up, Al finally got so bored that he left.



He walked around the Central Military HQ, looking for something to do.



He was outside the Colonel’s office when he heard yelling. He went inside to see what was going on.



Mustang had gathered his crew inside, and seemed to be about to address them.



“Alright, where’s my pencil?” Mustang questioned his crew furiously.



“What pencil?” asked Hawkeye.



“My special pink sparkly pencil that I bought yesterday!”



Mustang broke in to tears at the thought of the horrible ordinary pencil he now had to use, and gloomed over in a corner.



“Umm, why did you buy a pink sparkly pencil?” questioned Havoc, looking extremely weirded out.



“I thought it was pretty!” Roy sobbed.



Everyone just stared at him, thinking he had gone insane.



Normally Al wouldn’t care about something as ridiculous as a lost sparkly pink pencil, but today he was so bored that he would do anything.



“Don’t worry Colonel!” he declared, “I’ll find your lost pencil, or my name isn’t Edward Elric!”



“Your name isn’t Edward Elric,” Fury pointed out, “You’re Alphonse.”



“Oh, good point!” said Al, “Okay, I guess I can’t find your pencil then!” And he skipped out of the office and down the hall.



“Oh no!” cried Roy, “Now I will never get my pencil back!!”



“Sir, losing one pencil isn’t the end of the world.” Hawkeye commented.



“Yes it is!!!” You don’t understand! No body does!!” He ran out of the room bawling.



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Ed had finally woken up, and walking around Central HQ when he noticed something sparkly on the floor. Closer inspection found it to be a pencil. He picked it up and stared at it. It was so pretty; he thought he could just stare at it all day.



So that’s what he decided he was going to do. He sat down in a chair that was conveniently in the hall right next to him, and admired the pencil.



Sometimes he would hold it really close to his face and stare at one small portion of it, and sometimes he would stretch his arm out as far away from him as possible, as to see it all at once.



He twirled it around in his fingers, admiring all angles of the beautiful pencil.



But his pencil admiration was abruptly interrupted by Roy running down the hall towards him, crying.



Ed stared at Roy as he got closer to him. Roy looked at Ed, and stopped as he noticed the object Ed was holding.



“My pencil!” he gasped, “You found it!! Thank you Fullmetal!”



He reached out to grab the pencil, but Ed pulled it away.



“Hey, this is my pencil! I found it!” he said, angry at Mustang for disturbing his pencil gazing.



“What! That’s not yours! Its mine! I bought it yesterday, and then I lost it!” said Roy, about to break into tears again.



“Well, finders keepers, losers weepers!” he declared, “And besides, there isn’t any proof that it’s yours, how do I know that you aren’t lying?”



“I want my pencil!!!” Roy completely broke into tears again.



Ed looked at Roy, some what confused, but most just freaked out.



“Okay fine, I’ll give it to you, but you have to give something to me then. Equivalent Exchange after all. You know what I want.” He said slyly.



“But Ed, I can’t sleep with you, I am almost twice your age, plus your superior officer. If anyone found out, I would get fired!”



“That’s not what I want you sicko!!!” Said Ed blushing, “I was talking about those reports that you wouldn’t give me earlier!!”



“Oh okay,” said Mustang, slightly disappointed, “Well give me my pencil back, and I will give you those reports then.



“Okay then.” Ed agreed. He gave Roy the pencil, feeling sad about its loss, and thinking about how much he was going to miss it.



He continued thinking about the pencil he had just given away all the way back to Roy’s office. Roy picked up the reports, and handed them to Ed.



“Here you go Fullmetal.” Roy said, hugging his pencil.



Ed looked at the reports. Then he looked at the pencil. It was so sparkly and mesmerizing.



“Know what? I changed my mind. You can keep the reports, I want the pencil back!” Ed told Mustang.



Mustang ceased his pencil molestation to look at Ed.



“Nani? No way!! You said I could have it! I gave you the reports, the pencil is mine!”



“Yo quiero queso todos los dias!!” Ed said.



“Que?” asked Mustang.



“I don’t know, I just felt like saying that.”



“Oh, well that makes sense.” Mustang mused, “I didn’t know you could speak Spanish Fullmetal.”



“Aww crap, that was Spanish??” Ed hit himself in the face.



“Yes it was, what’s wrong with that?” asked Mustang.



“Well, it’s just that Spanish is the stupidest language in the whole world, and I don’t really want to speak it.” Ed explained.



“Well what about French?” questioned Mustang.



“Okay, so French is stupider, but Spanish is still the second dumbest language.”



“What about Russian?”



“Okay, so Spanish is better then Russian too.”



“What about Guatemalan?”



“Guatemalan isn’t a language you moron. Didn’t you learn that in that in Aztec Goddess’s fan fiction??”



“Nope!” said Roy smiling, “and by the way, Toyo doesn’t own Aztec Goddess, or any of her fan fictions. Toyo hopes she doesn’t mind her reference to her story.”



“Okay, well I guess Spanish isn’t the stupidest language,” Ed says, ignoring Roy’s last comment, “ I guess it just seems stupid because of the way Mrs. Crain teaches it.”



“Who’s Mrs. Crain?” Roy asked.



“Toyo’s Spanish teacher. But now she is gone on maternity leave!!! Yay!!” exclaimed Ed as he gave a joyous cheer.



“Wait, why are we talking about this?” asked Roy, “Weren’t we talking about something else a minute ago?”



Ed and Roy sat and pondered for a moment.



Suddenly Ed sat upright. “That’s right!! The sparkly pencil!”



“The Sparkly Pink pencil.” Roy corrected him.



“Fine, you can keep your stupid pencil, because Toyo’s internet is fixed now!” Ed exclaimed. Then he grabbed pom poms out of no where, and started doing a cheer about the internet.



Roy slowly backed away from Ed.



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An: Things can get pretty ugly when the internet is down. R&R





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