AN:I was listening to this song, and this idea came to me. I listened to the song on repeat about two million times with the speakers turned up all the way while I was writing this. XD Yeah, I don’t own FMA, Baby Got Back, or Sir Mix-a-lot. ^^ Enjoy
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Baby Got Back
A Fan Fiction
By Toyo
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“Oh, my, god. Edward, look at his butt.
It is so big. He looks like,
one of those rap guys' boyfriends.
But, y'know, who understands those rap guys?
They only talk to him, because,
he looks like a total prostitute, 'kay?
I mean, his butt, is just so big.
I can't believe it's just so round, it's like,
out there, I mean - gross. Look!” Said Roy as he and Edward passed Havoc in the hallway.
“I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a guy walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung, wanna pull out your tongue
'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans he's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh baby, I wanna get wit'cha
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But with that butt you got makes me feel so horny”
Said Ed, breaking it down.
“Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin
You say you wanna get in my Benz?
Well, use me, use me
'Cause you ain't that average groupy
I've seen them dancin'
The hell with romancin'
He's sweat, wet,
Got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette
I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' flat butts are the thing
Take the average black man and ask him that
He gotta pack much back” Ed continued.
“Wait, so you don’t like my butt?” Roy asked Ed, somewhat hurt.
“No I don’t!” Said Edward, and began rapping again, “I like 'em round, and big
And when I'm throwin' a gig
I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like an animal
Now here's my scandal
I wanna get you home
And ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh”
“But… but…” Roy complained, “I thought my flat butt was sexy!”
“I want 'em real thick and juicy
So find that juicy double
Elric's in trouble
Beggin' for a piece of that bubble
So I'm lookin' at rock videos
Watchin' these bimbos walkin' like hoes
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep my men like Flo Jo”
“Your men like Flo Jo?” Roy asked.
“Shut up Roy, just go with the song,” Ed commented, and returned to rapping once again, “A word to the thick soul brotha’s, I wanna get with ya
I won't cuss or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna *fuck*
Til the break of dawn
Baby got it goin' on
A lot of simps won't like this song
'Cause them punks like to hit it and quit it
And I'd rather stay and play
'Cause I'm long, and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the friction on”
“So, what is the point of all this Edward?” Roy asked, very confused, “Are you trying to tell me that I am unattractive?”
“Yes that is exactly what I am saying,” Edward replied “So you roll a Honda, playin' workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of his Honda
My anaconda don't want none
Unless you've got buns, hun.”
“But what about all the times, we… you know…”
“When ever I am with you, I am imagining you’re Havoc.” Ed replied.
Roy stared at Ed in shock. “What can I do to make you love me?” he asked
“You can do side bends or sit-ups,
But please don't lose that butt” Ed rapped, “Some brothers wanna play that "hard" role
And tell you that the butt ain't gold
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So Cosmo says you're fat
Well I ain't down with that!
'Cause your waist is small and your curves are kickin'
And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'
To the beanpole dames in the magazines:
You ain't it, Mister Thing!
Give me a brotha, I can't resist him
Red beans and rice didn't miss him
Some knucklehead tried to dis
'Cause his guys are on my list
He had game but he chose to hit 'em
And I pull up quick to get wit 'em
So fellas, if the butt is round,
And you want a triple X throw down,
Dial 1-900-FULLMETAL
And kick them nasty thoughts
Baby got back!”
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R&R
New FF!! ^^