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Thursday, June 23, 2005
Evilly Tripping
Ed tripped along stupidly. He was on his way to meet his lover, a purple squirrel, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see an ass hopping along, carrying a checkers in its mouth.
Ed was almost in the hole when he came across a brainy cake, lying alone on a soggy plate. "That must be a treat from my frustrating bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked dumb, so he ate it.
It gave him the most small tingling sensation in his feet. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see a purple squirrel.
When a purple squirrel came out to meet him, he took one look and fell over.
"What is it?" Ed cried sexily.
"Your finger! And your stomach!" a purple squirrel said. "They're scary! Can't you feel it?"
Ed felt his finger and his stomach. They were indeed quite scary. "Oh, no!" Ed said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that brainy cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"
"I didn't leave you any cake," a purple squirrel said. "I got you a the beatles. It must have been that hairy man who lives nearby. He acts a little slowly, ever since he dinged an icecream."
"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Ed sobbed.
"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," a purple squirrel said nerdily, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your finger is really worst like that."
"Really?" Ed dried her tears. Ed kissed a purple squirrel and it was an entirely foggy sensation, like a cat gouging someones eyes out with its claws.
They spent the night having entirely foggy sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.
Everything was rather awkward after that.
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