Thursday, February 7, 2008

   Yeah.

Time: 12.37 in the pm Mood: Sad Currently: Shivering. Song: Say Anything - Good Charlotte Erm, yeah. Thanks for your comments. I doubt I’ll get many on this post, for I’m not feeling particularly happy. Yesterday, as the day went on, my mood just went downhill. Real bad. In the afternoon my Gran phones me up to say happy birthday to my sister (who was still at school), and then my Gran ends up literally shouting at me down the phone, because I haven’t got my provisional driving license sorted. And I can’t send off for my provisional yet, because I either need my passport or birth certificate to prove I’m really me. But I can’t find them, so I can’t send off for my license =( Anyway, my Gran’s shouting at me saying “well FIND them then, and send off for your frickin’ license!” and I’m like, “well I don’t know WHERE they are, do I?!”. Then she starts saying my cousin Jade has got her license, and is having lessons and everything, and that’s it’s stupid that I’m not. My other Nan came into the shop the other night and asked me if I’d got my license, and I was like “no”, and then she goes “well, Amberly has, and she’s having lessons!” (Amberly’s another cousin of mine). Why is everyone comparing me to other family members, and having a go at me, because I don’t have a license yet? It’s like my Auntie signed me up for that free driving lesson. They’re all taking over my fucking life! I’m fucking 18!! I’ll do what I like, when I like, and no one is gonna fucking force me!! Why is everyone so fucking obsessed with me driving anyway? It’s not like it’s the most important skill to have on the planet! The more they say I should get it all done, the less I wanna do it. Work went kinda downhill, too. A job that normally takes me half an hour took me over an hour last night. I screwed up this woman’s change. Then this guy who comes in on a Wednesday night every week before he goes to work came in, and he’s lovely and everything. And he could see that I wasn’t very happy and he goes “what’s up, chuck? You’re not your normal bubbly, bouncy happy self tonight.2 I was like “no, I just don’t feel very happy today”. He said he’d pop in tonight, too, bless him. Then that really hot guy from the Jimmy Pickles Indian curry house came in, and he is literally gorgeous, and always happy and smiling, and he was like “you don’t look very happy, what’s up?”. See, all my customers know me as Happy-Emma, not sad-and-miserable-Emma =( Anyway, after I finished work, me and Matt closed up, and Matt turns to me and says “where’s your lift then?” and I said I thought someone had asked him to give me a lift, and he goes “so I’m your lift then?”. In all honesty, I expected him to leave me to walk home. On my own. He seems that sort of person. And that just made me feel even worse. Anyway, I got home (Matt did give me a lift), complained to Dad a bit, nearly bursting into tears, and Dad said he’d come and pick me up tonight. Then I said I was hungry, and so I went into the kitchen to find something to eat, and there was Bolognese sauce in the fridge for me to make Spaghetti Bolognese with. But at like, 11.30pm, I couldn’t be arsed. So I ate the remaining pancakes I’d bought earlier on, and just went to bed. I was gonna play in my DS for a bit, but I was exhausted, miserable, and just ended up crying until something like quarter to 1. My mood hasn’t improved today, either. I still feel as shitty and miserable, and feeling like I’m gonna cry any second. Really don’t wanna go to work tonight, but I can’t phone in sick just because I feel like shit and am gonna cry at any minute. I’ll hopefully cheer up. Hopefully. As you’ve probably noticed, there’s a video under my this post. It is of me, trying to pick a daisy, but I kinda… Well… Just watch it. It’s only 12 seconds long. Hard to believe it was 8 months ago. Let’s all have a laugh at my expense, shall we? Was fucking funny, though. Love&stuff ♥ Emmah ♥ xxxxxxxxxxxx

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