Thursday, August 26, 2004

do i need a new user name
i still am in love with like haku but i think that is ruined i am just sitting alone cring most of the day i am not online but i don't know what i am going to do sigh i need to go to church does anyone have a church i can go to ....lately i just want to love someone with nothing to love i am still in love but i guess it really doesn't matter anymore why isn't there an easy way to forget someone :: tear :: sigh its ok i don't think anyone reads this really
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   i love you :)
i love you sooo much i hate being alone it makes me cry i know that no one here loves me i just want someone to hold in my arms and to love

"i'm sorry, please forgive me, belive me if you will"
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Wednesday, August 25, 2004

   did you think that i would cry over the phone?
blah i was in an accident yesturday i hit my head pretty hard and i have blacked out a few times and had a major head ache so i took alot of alive(but i hadden't ate in a while so therewas nothing in my stomache and ummm i found out that is bad) awwww my poor stomache lining eh lesson learned *sigh* i just glad people weren't home when i blacked out that would suck all the worrying blah well i did blackout on the phone with cristie she says she went on talking while i was silent...heh heh but like it says i endedup crying myself to sleep last night actually on the phone while she was singing (she sings so sweet and it was dashboard so it was nice lyrics) its just like i want to be with her and i can't i felt like i would just get up right there and find a bus and leave and go to maimi it just makes me sad how there is nothing here i have to hold on to nothing that makes me want to stay and some that makes me want to leave so much
so naturally i cried about it and started a song and feel asleep

P.S. i'd give you more details on the accident but to be honest i can't remember it.... sorry

"is there someone out there that feels the same as o do.....there is"
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Tuesday, August 24, 2004

   i can't forgive, can't forget, can't give in
i'm sick of always hearing all those sad songs on the radio, all day they are there to reimind an oversensitive guy that hes LOST and ALONE!!!

this place its fuking cursed and its plauged and i can never escape when my heart it explodes

you fucked up my life!
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Monday, August 23, 2004

   i feel down again, but i can't complain
oh man i love the internet ...i would buy it a cookie if it could eat one ...and it not die(i could put one in the disc drive..but don't go do that) damn last night was some of the happist times i have had in like forever internet is great...so is free long distance thats right if i had your #'s i could call you all i know ... i called maimi .....ooooooo i can't wait till january ::dances:: errr i can't sit still it is so freaking crazy (i'm gonna meet her and kiss her )
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Sunday, August 22, 2004

i feel so cheap ,so used unfaithful
i got a mood pentant at the dollar store its heart shaped ( cuz i'm like that) oooo oooo oooo i'm in a good mood well i've been like this for a few days so really i huess i'm just happy (hell ya) well you know what i need now i need to go on a date or something ( i need to keep moving on and getting on) i need to keep my life in action expirenceing it makes for kick ass songs so yeah lets go anyone reading this want to go out dance a little have fun and end it by star gazing.... come one someone has to want to be with me ......

"speak up now lose or get left behind"
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Saturday, August 21, 2004

so heres your holiday
i hung out with sam and kirsten we went to the mall bought a dvd (blink-182 of course)and watched it. i swear i love hanging out with sam he helps me feel good about myself he is so awsome and kirsten is sooo cool and talented and how much she loves eric is amazing i hope my love is tat strong well that is really all i'm just saying this cuz i want to cuz i love it i just need a lover in my life here now so i can feel full and complete


"nothing to hold on to"
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   decions and final awnsers
hmmm so much thought has gone on lateky (at least for me)you know about life, future, love, yeah the stuff i would think about and i have made up my mind

oh and on another(but simmilar) topic i am not depressed ... it turns out i am just stupid yeah really just a doof(heh heh yeah i know that is a real word) i have friends that just really pick me up *looks at sam* yay you drive around and we sing blink-182 and brand new and boxcar racer and have kick ass times i just wish jessica would be able to hang out with us then things would be like the best and life could only be a little sweeter *sigh* oh well

well i am still so in love*looks around ...no haku* sigh
and i am still an emoboy i can't help that no matter what that is who i am it has its ups and downs it is what makes me sweet and poetic and even chessy romantic (yes when i get all started up i can really go heh its a sight to see i tell you )


well
"
do you care if i don't know what to say
will you sleep tonight, will you think of me"

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Thursday, August 19, 2004

keeping up with you is something i could never do
sorry this is something that has been bothering me...what makes conpatibility?
i mean is it what two peole have in common? or do oppisites attract? really what is it i mean if you have someone like you then you can uderstand each other.
but then again could that be boring could you grow tired of it? is it the diff. that keep you hooked in a realationship, makes it interesting. you could have a blast with someone who knows and likes the same things. or is it that it is the learning new and differnt things that holds it together?

you know i just have this stabbing at me in my mind figured i'd post it and see what people think ..... thank you
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stay tonight
49 hours and 46 min. to go but whose counting I just thought I'd let you know I filled my head with your voice and now I'm drowning I wrote this song for you You can stay tonight and make everything alright you can hold me and tell me that your right tell me whats it like to be alone and we had this down unlike everybody I'll spend a million nights just like tonight you know I screamed your name at the sky until I lost my voice I'd give my life for you

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