Sunday, January 2, 2005

2005 How I'm going to hate you.
I need a hug because this year sucks.

I've officially had the worse new year in my life. First off, I didn't go to the party. I tried giving the house and nobody picked up so I had no idea where I had to go. So I scrapped that idea and decided to join my parents and family at my aunts house. I tried calling them but they didn't answer either. It was nearing 11:00 so I simply stayed home by myself.

Since time went ridiculously slow, I played Halo 2 online to past the time until midnight. I got hungry so I made myself some fried rice.

And there I was. Sitting in a beanbag chair, eating fried rice and playing Halo 2 while my friends and family partied their asses off. I was once told that the way you spend new years is how the rest of the year will be. I doubt this is true but if it is, this fucking blows.

By 11:30 I started talking to myself about what last years resolutions and how they didn't last for a minute. One of them was get a girlfriend. Actually, I set that goal almost a million time a year. At every "checkpoint" in my life, I promise myself I'd get a girlfriend by the next "checkpoint". By next valentines day, by the beginning of summer, by the end of summer, by my birthday, by christmas, by new years and so on. Obviously, I've failed myself again. "Be patient" people say, "Maybe something will happen". Well fuck you, I've been waiting for a long time now so don't you fucking dare call me impatient.

The clock struck midnight. I dropped to the floor and laid there, staring at the ceiling. With all this crap in my head I felt like crying. So I did.

I've never spent a new year alone and I must tell you it sucks. Lonliness sucks. It's stupid to feel this way but I do so whatever.

After a few pitiful moments lying htere, I got up and continued playing.

I went to sleep at around 8:30 that morning. Dreamed about nothing (wow). Woke up at 1:30 in the afternoon. I checked the answering machine and one message was my dad apologizing for not picking up and telling me how almost everyone drunk themselves upside down that night. The next message was my friend who started apologizing. I just hung up because I didn't want to hear it.

I went for a walk around the city, making stops for coffee and chocolate along the way. My pointless journey lasted a good 8 hours. Got home and took a nap. Now I'm here.

What a great start to the new year.

I still feel like shit. I still feel like crying. Fortunately those feelings are fading because well, I've been drinking tea and tea makes me happy and I'm going shopping today.

Now for a couple of non-miserable items.

It's my little sisters birthday today too. She's turning 10. I can't believe she's 10 becuase it seems like only yesterday she was a chubby little baby with an addiction for bananas. I'm probably gonna buy her a Gamecube because I have my xbox and ps2 and my other sis has a ps2. Little sister gets the happy-go-lucky fun of Nintendo.

I've noticed that Sahkiryce, my first MyOtaku friend, has completely disappeared. I wish her the best in whatever she does. Cheers my friend.

My uncle gave me a call officalizing my trip to Japan. All I have to do is save up for spending because my trip there and back are paid for and set. I'll be leaving on March 18th or 19th. I can't friggin wait.

I'm gonna have more tea. Cheers everyone, hope your new year started better than mine.


- enin -
Comments (6)