Thursday, December 23, 2004

   Hola
Whoa! I haven't really updated in a long time!! Well I've been very busy lately...LoL ^^' But yea, I'm gonna move on da story soon enough...I just haven't really had some creative thinking time! HAHAHA!! oK..LATERS!
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Friday, December 10, 2004

   it's been ok
I'm jealous of Bianca now. She's gonna have a kewl christmas holiday, Mexico status, with all the good food and family oriented celebrations. While I, don't. It's kewl. She still misses us tho. It's good that she's fitting in with her host family. The mom of the house is nice, she says. The people over there are also kewl. I just hope she doesn't forget to bring me sumthing...LoL. It's sad coz we were always together for the holidays, goin shopping and now that she's far, it kinda sucks.
I'm like incomplete...::sigh::. We're each other's other half.^_^
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Thursday, December 9, 2004

   Yay!!!!!
My sis Bianca wrote back from Mexico! She's so freakin lucky. I'm sure she's having lots of fun over there. I wanted to be a foreign exchange too, but no!! I miss my twin sis. Hopefully she brings me souvenirs when she gets back in 6 months. Oh no! That's a long time!Aaahh! I'm gonna spend Christmas w/o her! T_T But yea, I'm hyped coz at least she remembered me ^_^...

Te quiero mucho y te extraño cuata!!^_^
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Sunday, December 5, 2004

   Not related to the story...Well, kinda
Hehe...well as you all have prolly noticed I changed the look of my site! Yay! And yea, the last post of my current story was quite dramatic. LoL. But that's what I aim for when I write stories. I like to surprise myself and others so I won't bore the heck outta my readers. I try to come up with unexpected events so it isn't n e thing you were kinda expecting to happen. If at n e time in the story, you're confused at what just happened and you want a clarification, feel free to private message me. Or, if you're new and you missed the past posts and you wanna know what you missed out, feel free to PM me too!

I'm hoping for it to be a story like none other. I always go to bookstores and I never seem to find stories that keep me at the edge of my seat. LoL. So I go "why not write my own stories?" hahaHAa!! So yea...that's it.

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   ...not related to the last post...
I'm my school's prom queen
I'm the captain
of the cheerleader team
I'm in the top ten of my class

I've been nominated
to be class valedictorian
I hang out with the popular group
I have many friends
I can tell them to do something for me, and they do it
All the guys want me
I'm the beauty queen

I live in a big house
with many hot and new cars
I have a big room
My own jacuzzi

Yet as I look at my life of luxury
I realize that I'm lonely
My friends don't like
me for who I am,
but for what I have
My grades are high
because I tend to cheat
I'm thin because I don't eat

I don't know what I really am
I have no one to talk to
I have no one
who can tell me who I am

Who am I??


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   ...continued from the last post....
" I've had it with you coming late from the street! When are you just going to admit to me you're going around with other women?" my mother yelled.

Those words...I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"It's none of your business!! You have no right to question me. I do what I want to do and no woman is going to tell me what I can and what I cannot do!!" my father answered back.
"Then you are going around with other women! How dare you come back to this house!" my mother yelled back.

Then I heard a slap...my heart just froze.

"Don't you ever dare try to impede me from coming to this house! This is MY house! Understand?! If you don't like it, pack your bags and get out! You're useless to this family. You don't provide anything to this house but idleness. YOU should be the one to get out!" he angrily said.

I was shocked...I had always seen my father as my hero...Now what should a child do if their hero becomes the villain? I couldn't believe what was happening. I heard my mother crying. I wanted to go to her, but I was too afraid of coming out of the room. I was afraid of encountering my father. I was afraid of seeing him like a monster. I wasn't sure how I'd see him. I was afraid of that man, who was nothing like the father I knew. My mother had been defeated by this monster. She cried there on the floor while he went to the bedroom and locked himself in there.
It had all happened too fast, but the words were forever engraved in my heart. My dad had always been my role model. The man of the house who always provided for the family. And now, to me, he became an object to fear. He had hit my mother I was not going to forgive him for that. He had no idea of how hard she had it when I was in the hospital. All the worries she went through because at times I was close of not making it. She was a strong woman. And if she never provided, in terms of money, it was because he never allowed her.
" Why do you want to work? To flirt with your boss? That's all women do when they work. They always flirt around with their skirts, showing their legs. No, forget about it. You should take care of the children. Of your own home," he once said.

Now that I had become more aware of things, how things really were between my parents and my family in general, I realized the real answer to the sudden question: why did we leave Osaka in the first place?

As I pondered things, recalling events with similar arguments like these, I suspected my father being a womanizer. It was a feeling I had. But tonight, it had all been confirmed. My mother had said it, and he didn't deny it. They had always argued, but it had never escalated to abuse. My world had been rocked....my trust was lost...I was confused....I didn't know what to believe in anymore...What was there to do?
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Thursday, December 2, 2004

   I KNOW WHAT MY NEXT STORY WILL BE!!
Hola. Ya sé cual historia voy a escribir para este otaku. Al ver la película "Osama", me animó a escribir un cuento basado en esa historia. Tal vez sea la próxima que escriba aquí...
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Thursday, November 25, 2004

   ...continued from the last post...
It wasn't long before I realized that my parents' relationship had turned cold. Both lived life as if neither existed. My dad had turned very cold towards my mother. My mother sat all day on a corner chair, sewing tablecloths. She would knit me scarves. When dad would come from work, she didn't greet him. Nor did he greet her.
I was to begin school next month, so I was very observant while I was there. Everyday, my dad would just come home, without saying a word. He would drop his briefcase by the sofa, change into something comfortable, then eat dinner without saying a word to anyone. Mom did the same. She didn't even ask him what he wanted her to serve him. It was the eye language. He would look at her a certain way, then my mother would get the message that he wanted more rice served. She would reach over the table and serve him more rice. This wasn't like them. They would go to bed without saying a word to each other. And that's how it was. It started to bother me after awhilre. I bravely asked my mother,
"What's the problem between you and dad?"
"What problem? There's no problem."
"You and dad haven't talked to each other since I came."
"Ami, you're just imagining things.It is not like that. Don't worry."
I still wasn't convinced.
Then, in the middle of the night, I was awakened by some screams. I sat up to listen. My parents were arguing. My eldest brother came into the room.
"They're arguing again", he said.
"Again?!" I exclaimed.
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   Wow! Another one!!!!
Tell me what you see...
Do you see in me a little lost child?
A wandering soul with nowhere to go?
Then why don't you take me by the hand and show me a new place

Is it because I'm different?
Is it because I have a different view of life?
Why won't you take me with you?

This may be the last time
you will ever see me
Why not take a chance and learn what I'm really about
Why not take a chance and be my friend

This may be the last chance you will ever hear of me
This may be the last time you will ever see me
This may be the last chance you
will ever see me here

waiting for you...
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Wednesday, November 24, 2004

   Another one!
What is there to see
when I have seen it all?
What is there to hear
when I have heard it all?

What can hurt me
if I been hit in every way?
What can damage me more than knowing you are gone?

I stand here strong
Never letting out a tear
I know it'll just feed
another's endless joy

So what is there to do?
Other than standing here pretty
On grounds that were once meaningful to us

This dirt I stand in
Flowerless and desolate
Sun-dried, and hard
Like me without you

Wherever you are, be happy
I'll be here
with an artificial smile
Hiding what is really within



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