Saturday, November 3, 2018

hello old friends
It's been 3 years since I've posted on this site
I'm 26.
I was probably 14 when I first found myo
when I first made these friends.
somehow, 12 years later I still find myself coming back here every once in awhile and I'm not entirely sure why.

I feel like this website has watched me die, watched me bleed, watch me come back to life again.
I've discovered so much of life through this platform.
I discovered myself on this website. I met my first girlfriend here, (who is happily with her boyfriend of 10 years and I am SO happy for them.)
I had my heart broken on this platform too many times that I can count on this platform. Danielle. Stephy.

And my dad has been gone for 11 years.
I never thought I'd make it to 21.
never.

im drunk and sitting across the table from my fiancee
I still live with my mom
I manage a convenience store
I . am. alive.


I'm alive.
that's what gets me about all of this

and I'm happy.
I'm fucking happy.
I hate my job most of the time
but I'm happy.
I survive everyday.

I don't think about killing myself anymore.





my kindergarten buddy has attempted suicide
I don't know how to tell her that
you
can survive

even though it hurts
even though 26 years means scars
and heartbreak
and pain
so much pain

but you can survive



we survive


my friends we have survived this life.

I know so many of you have thought we wouldn't survive

but here we are.










Belinda, I know you're most likely the only one who reads this

thank you.



I love you all,
even if you never read this.



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