Sunday, November 25, 2012

It's been quite the weekend around here.. On Friday we went shopping, and not even early in the morning but it was still really crowded in all of the stores, but it was fun. Target probably would have been the best store to have gone too to get deals early in the morning because they were selling a lot of DVD's and series for really cheap. I ended up getting season 1 of Adventure Time there, and the Avengers since I've been waiting for it to go down in price before I buy it. Oh, I also got to see the new Wii U for the first time, and holy shit that thing is huge! When I saw commercials for it I thought it was a good size, if not a little small but the thing is huge! I'm not really a big fan of the wii, but I like the idea of the wii u since it can be a hand held or used as a remote on the tv. Doesn't matter though because I doubt that I'll get it, and my sister isn't really into video games as much as she used to be.

Last night I went to a surprise party for Jordan's mom which was okay. It was actually pretty fun, after I'd had a few drinks haha. I ended up playing pool with Jordan's younger brother as my partner. He's only 9 but he's actually really good at pool and I'm kind of average when it comes down to it but we still ended up beating everyone we played against. There was free food, beer, and cake so I guess it was worth it for being their for 6 hours. There was also karaoke, which for some reason my mom always insists on doing when she's drunk so yeah, I had to live through that embarrassment. My sister, Jordan, her brothers and I all ended up playing spoons for a majority of the night which was CRAZY. That game is horrible! I had never played it before and there was people bleeding from getting attacked by the spoons/other people and people were rolling around on the floor trying to get a spoon. It was ridiculous. Then we played the card game bullshit, which is always fun because I usually end up winning haha. Yeah, it was fun until I had to drive home since I was the most sober out of my mom and me. I hate driving my moms truck because it's not what I'm used to driving, but we didn't die so I guess that's always a plus.

My mom seems to have a hangover, but I think that we're going to see the last twilight movie today... Since my mum and sister really want to see it. I personally would rather go see Wreck it Ralph or the Guardians movie but we'll see what happens. All I know is I'm starving, time to go find some food.. xD

Later~

-Jenny
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Thursday, November 22, 2012

First of all, Happy Thanksgiving to those of you who celebrate it. And to all of you, I am thankful to have you all in my life :) I love you guys!

So I'm finally on Thanksgiving break, which is nice. Even though I still have a ton of homework to do before Monday thanks to my art professor -_- but I guess I can deal with it. Plus I have two papers that I need to get done but don't really feel like doing, even though they're both almost finished I just don't feel like finishing them XD I also had an exam in math today and I feel like I did bad on it because I couldn't really think straight, or I was confused about the problem. I also am pretty sure I got a bad score on the philosophy quiz I took today. So yeah, it hasn't been the best day. Oh well, at least I don't have class Thursday or Friday.

I don't remember if I ever mentioned that my sister is in cheer leading before, but I kind of didn't like the idea of her being in cheer leading, and that I didn't really think she was the kind of person to be a cheer leader but she's actually pretty good, so I guess I'm eating my words lol. I still don't really like the idea but I guess I'm glad that she's being more involved in high school than I was. It's something that I've always regretted.

Oh, a cop just pulled someone over outside of my house and is arresting him! xD I guess he had drugs too, according to my mum who was outside when the cop was talking to the guy. I kinda wish that they would get it over with and leave because the flashing lights through my window are starting to be annoying, haha. o_o now there's three cops! I guess this is one of the most interesting things that happens in this town! To me it'd be more interesting if it had been a drive-by shooting, that's what my childhood was made up of! This is just child's play! Far from entertainment!

Have a good day everyone! :)

-Jenny
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Saturday, November 17, 2012

I should really be doing homework right now, but it's clearly the last thing that I want to be doing xD I'd rather play video games, or sleep, or work than do my homework. Especially since I have three papers to write! DX Yeah, I'm not to happy about that, and they're all due around the week or two after we get back from Thanksgiving break so I'd like to work on them some before thanksgiving so I don't feel guilty doing nothing while I'm at home haha.

Oh, I got accepted into Phi Theta Kappa, which is an honors program I guess. Apparently they think that I have good grades, but the joke will be on them after my next semester grades show up XD nah, I'll probably do fine, and I guess it's cool that I got accepted into the society, hopefully that'll help me be able to transfer to a different school without any problems.

I kind of wish that I would have went home this weekend since my mom needs some help painting and fixing some things, but at least my sister will be there to help. I really do need to catch up on some homework, which may not happen as much as I'd like it to but it'll happen a lot more since I'm not going home. I never get anything done at home xD Last time I was home it took me about 3 hours to do a math assignment because my mum and sister kept bugging me. And I want to stay at home next year and go to school? What kind of trouble am I getting my self into? xD

I'm just excited for it to finally be Wednesday so I can go home! Although I'm a little annoyed that I have to drive home in the dark...

Later!

-Jenny
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Wednesday, November 14, 2012

It's been a mess around here lately. Plus I haven't really been in the safest mindset lately so I decided that I'd take a break from things and focus on homework and stuff which was beneficial in the end and I'm not nearly as behind as I was, but I still need to do some stuff that I've been putting off. Mainly papers.. Oy, I really should get at that or my Thanksgiving break isn't going to be very enjoyable.

Speaking of things that aren't going to be enjoyable... I have my classes picked out for next semester and I'm taking 18 credits which would be alright if I wasn't taking TWO science classes.. I really don't like Science and I'm afraid of how much this will affect my GPA considering it's pretty good right now but If I end up doing horrible in the two Geology classes that I'm taking then who knows what will happen! T_T

Anyways here's what my schedule looks like for next semester:

Historical Geology
Geology Lab
A Natural Disasters class (also a geology class)
Disasters Lab
College Algebra
Creative Writing
Three-Dimensional Design

When I write them out like that it doesn't seem like I'm taking that many classes, but the labs are what's going to kill me! I'm not to much worried about the other classes since their classes that I've chosen to take since I'm finished with the requirements for my degree.. Although math is going to be a pain in the ass considering what we're doing right now is difficult, I can only imagine just how much more difficult it will be in that class!

Anyways.. My mom has been watching two many of those home tv network shows because she's decided that She's going to try and fix up her house to the way that she wants it and see if she really likes it then or else she's going to put it up for sale and move somewhere new. I personally don't know why she's got into this wanting to move thing but whatever it just means that when I come home for Thanksgiving break there will actually be new carpeting in my bedroom so yay!

My art professor has been hounding me lately about what I want to major in.. It's almost annoying! I've been avoiding so he doesn't ask me every time i see him! I know he has good intentions and all.. but I just don't want to think about it right now. I already have it narrowed down to two or three things.. I just can't really decide what it is that I want to do exactly, and it just gives me a headache to think about it, so yeah, I've been avoiding him.

Yep.. that's about it!

Later~

-Jenny
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Thursday, November 1, 2012

It has been such a busy week. I'm so glad that it's almost over.

(i'm going to blab about my week so feel free to skip this part.)

Sunday I went to Madison, WI and we met up with our Art Professor to go look at some art galleries and have coffee. Funny thing is while we were having coffee, Steve leans over to me and says "Someone dropped their pot..." so I look over and here's a bag of pot on the floor right in the open. I tell you that is one of the most humorous things that I've ever experienced because everyone was just trying to ignore it until the manager came out and picked it up and was like "Sorry, I just keep dropping my pot everywhere!" XD But yeah, that was fun even though I hate driving in Madison and it's amazing that I didn't get pulled over or into a car accident.

On Monday I had an art field trip to Chicago to go to the Art Institute of Chicago. Now where I live is almost five hours away from Chicago so I had to get up at five in the morning to be on the bus by 6:45, so that was awesome but I like bus rides so it was actually pretty cool. Once we got to Chicago it was BUSY, so we went to the museum first and looked at the stuff we had to look at and then Steve comes up to us and is like "I'm going to lunch, want to sneak out of here with me? " XD This would be less funny if he wasn't the professor for whom's class we're there for! So we went off to lunch at a pub that he used to go to when he lived there and I had some awesome food and we watched news coverage about Hurricane Sandy which was pretty depressing, and then we left and walked around Chicago a bit before going back to the museum. We spent like not even four hours in Chicago because we got there at about 11:30 and left at 2:30 so a majority of my day was spent on a bus, but it was worth it. I can't wait to go back to Chicago this month.

Tuesday was spent catching up on homework and starting a paper that was due the next day. I'm actually kind of worried about my Philosophy class, the class that I had to write the paper for.. I think if I get a bad grade on my paper (below a B) I might end up dropping that class because I already only have a B in the class and I refuse to have any C's while I'm in college... ugh, the stuff in that class is just over my head most of the time. It makes me feel so stupid. Oh well, we'll see I guess.

My Halloween was uneventful. I didn't hand out candy like I did last year, because well i just haven't felt in the spirit this year... I got some candy today from some of my professors so that was nice of them. I can't believe October is already over and it's already November. Sometimes time moves way faster than I would like it too...

I think this weekend will be spent on homework and cleaning my apartment since it seems like it's a complete mess ._. I haven't actually been home in like three weekends so I haven't had much of a chance to clean anything. For now I have to go battle my math homework..

Later~

-Jenny
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Thursday, October 25, 2012

Sometimes I wake up and it takes me awhile to realize that I need to keep breathing, that I have to live and that the pain that I go through is worth it because of the future. But some days, like today I wake up and I wonder why I bother at all because my future isn't clear and doesn't seem like it will amount to anything at all. All my life I've felt like a failure and I've hated the skin that I'm in and I've just wanted out. I'm a ticking time bomb and I just don't know how much longer I can deal with this life.

Sometimes it feels like I have two personality's and one of them that hides from everyone else has my neck tied and is ready to hang me at any minute. This wouldn't surprise me since that cliche seems to be oh so reoccurring in my lifetime. Days like today though I don't feel like fighting, I don't feel like hiding that i'm not okay. Hiding that I've been a total fucking mess for 5 plus years. I've hated my self for even longer than that, I don't really know if I remember a time when I didn't hate my self.

I've always felt like I wasn't meant to be. Like my life will never amount to much of anything and that I never will truly be happy with my self. The only way I'll ever feel comfortable with my self is if I can be somebody else. If I don't have to be me, if i don't have to feel this way.. But like so many things that I want, that isn't going to happen either, so I'm stuck.

I've always been stuck. I need help, but I will not seek it. I need to runaway, but I will remain where I am at my worst. I need to make decisions, but I will remain ignorant and clueless. I will live, even though I and those around me are better off without me. At least as much so until the voice inside of my head finally gets it's way.

I am an empty shell of someone who could have been but now I am nothing, and my hatred for my self and my being runs through my veins stronger than any emotion that I have ever felt.

All I'm left to do is sit here and wonder when enough is enough, and why do I go on?

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Thursday, October 11, 2012

Got done early with my intro to drama class so i'm sitting here waiting for my sociology class. I'm bored so I decided to see if I could post from my phone and I guess that I can! :D but then again I can do a lot of things on my phone, when it actually works D:

I got to play my new video game yesterday! That was exciting, but video games always give me a headache so I couldn't play for that long.. hopefully i'll get to play some more again tonight after I do some homework... Hmm, I don't even know what all homework i have to do. All I know for sure is that I have a paper and a project that are both due on Wednesday. Oh, and it looks like I've gotten stuck doing all of my group work for my art project. I have to put the whole thing together by my self and then if no one else decides to present with me i'm going to have to present all on my own. Oh well, if I do a shitty job at least the rest of them will all get a bad grade too 8D

Lately I've been wanting to go on a roadtrip! Except I don't know where it is that I'd go to or how far my car would even go.. plus I only have about 100 miles before I need an oil change again so I guess my urge to go on a roadtrip will just have to wait for awhile. I do want to go back home though and see my old friends! I rarely get to see them anymore...

Welp, I guess I better run off to sociology now. We're watching a movie I hear... Hopefully I don't fall asleep!

Later~

-Jenny
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Wednesday, October 10, 2012

It's 12:30 and I just got done with my art paper.. It ended up being about 8 pages long and it probably isn't the best paper, because let's face it, I suck at art and analyzing stuff like this but I think it's alright. I'm just glad that I'm finished with it. I also had a sociology test today that I did pretty well on. I've never had a professor grade a test right when you hand it in but it was interesting, so yeah I already know what i got on that test. Tomorrow i'll find out how I did on my Philosophy test, and I think i'll have done okay (but hey who knows..) I somehow managed all of the huge piles of work that i had to do during the midterm weeks and now I just want to sleep for days. (Not really, i hate sleeping for a long time.)

I've been sick lately and I just started to feel some better today, so I'm glad to be getting rid of this cold. I hate colds, I think they're the worst. I complain too much when I have a cold but they are seriously the most annoying thing.

I think I kind of have a crush on this guy that is in my Intro to Drama class.. He's from Australia which of course makes him sexy just because of his cute accent, but he's also really really smart and has a higher vocabulary than most people our age (or anyone for that matter). I don't know, intelligence is a huge turn on for me. Plus he's kinda cute, so that helps too. Meh, guy crushes never really mean much to me, i'm just glad that we're friends xD I've made two close friends in that class and they're both guys! go figure.

Oh! We decorated our apartment for Halloween! I think it looks pretty cool :)

Happy Halloween!

Bats!

Mirror bats!

I love halloween! Even though I hate the month of October. At least at the end of the month I get to go to Chicago, that should be interesting.

Hmn, I think i'll either go pass out or play Fable III before bed!

Later~

-Jenny
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Wednesday, October 3, 2012

I just got done taking my Philosophy test. Went okay, was a lot easier than the professor had been making it out to be so that's good. I'm hoping for an A or an A- at the least. I kind of have my homework under control for now.. Not really, but kind of. It all really wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't going home this weekend and if Saturday wasn't going to be such a jam packed day of events. On Saturday I have to go shopping for food, and help my mom pick out some stuff, then i have to run home to go to Jordan's brothers birthday party, and then i'm going to see the high school's presentation of the Musical Annie, and after that I'm going to a post performance bonfire that I was invited too. Can I not just stay at home and be lazy on the couch all day?! Nope.

Ah, I am excited to go home though. Even though I usually just want to come back home to my own place. I miss my sister mostly. And I get to see my puppy! (who isn't a puppy, but she's so short that I'll forever call her my puppy.) I'm a little excited too to get to see the house that my mom is looking into buying. Not that it benefits me much. I think my mom would rather that I'd live with her forever then me actually moving into an actual place by myself. I don't really blame her, because once my sister's gone she'll be alone and her and my sister don't get along very well in the first place, but I don't want to be the kind of person who lives with their parent's when they're in their late 20s. Who knows, I can't help but feel bad abandoning her though.

It's supposed to only be a high of 49 on Saturday. Woohoo. I'm excited. Although it does kind of piss me off that it always gets cold when I end up going home for the weekend.. -_-

Hey, I guess Today is FMA day. Cool!

Yep, that's all I got.

-Jenny

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Sunday, September 30, 2012

Well, since it's Sunday I can't say that I've been completely unproductive.. Cuz I mean, at least I finished one of my projects! heh, today I'm hopefully going to be able to start both of my papers that are due soon. I also have a big test on Wednesday that I need to study for, so I don't know which I'll end up doing today. Speaking of Wednesday, I have to work at a blood drive that afternoon, which should be fun. Hopefully nobody passes out. I'd give blood too, but it's not the normal foundation that I give blood too (The American Red Cross) but who knows, we'll see.

Oh, I guess my mom may be buying a new house soon. I don't really know why she's got this urge to buy a new house since the last time I was home she never said anything about it, but i think she really likes the new house that she's looking at because it doesn't have so much land and hills and it has a full deck, which she's been wanting for a while now. It also doesn't have a garage, which is good because garage's are bad omen's for my family. I just don't know where she thinks she's going to find the money for a down payment if she hasn't even put our house we have now up for sale yet, I mean yeah, she could rent it out but who knows how that would turn out. I just don't want her to make any rash financial decisions like she usually does. That's why I'm hoping that i can go look at the house with her on Friday when I go home for the weekend. Huh, we'll see.

SO, I've decided what I'm going to make all my friends for Christmas! (that mean's you Stephy and Belinda XD) Cookies and Candy! (If you want anyways..) So yeah, probably closer to Christmas I'll post up the kind of candy and cookies that I know how to make and then you guys can tell me what one's you like or want and I'll make them and send them in the mail (because I think you can do that..) I love the holiday's because I get to cook all of the time! Granted I've been cooking all of the time now that we have our apartment.. but still, I love cooking. :) I'm not good at getting people things for Christmas either so I'm hoping you all like food.. XD

Oh, I'm also having a mental argument with my self about if I do or don't want to cut my hair short again. I liked my short hair, but I also think that my longer hair makes me look girly, which doesn't happen very often for me. In fact if I didn't have boobs I bet a lot of people would be confused considering the clothes that I wear.. XD Whatever, I always have this dilemma about my hair, i'll probably just end up being too lazy to go get it cut anyways.. haha

Yeah, well I suppose it's back to homework!

-Jenny
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