Thursday, February 19, 2009

Who says that its better to have loved and lost? I wish that i had never loved at all.
"you love me."
"yeah, i really, really do."

i wish i could do the things he does to her.. Oh i fucking wish.

--

ditched my 'friends' again today.
just don't feel like being social, really i don't.
it can't be healthy can it?
oh well.
it's all going to catch up to me soon and i wont have anymore 'friends'

--

Honestly... that's fine,
because after highschool.
i'm never even going to see them again.

--

honestly, it's all fine.
i'm happy.
because i've trained my self to be.

--

today was actually a really good day.
had a math and spanish test.
think i did okay on both of them.
but probably i'm wrong on the math one.
eh...fuck you algebra.

--

we where talking about death in my physics class today.
It kind of freaked me out,
because i had one of those 'i'm really going to die someday' moments.
i felt like crying.
but i got over it.
heh. weird.

--

it took a funeral to make me feel alive.

--

i don't care what anyone says, Charles Dickens was a boring person. I have to write a short paper on him for my choir class because we're doing one of the songs from the musical oliver! or something, i don't know.

--

to bad i'm not going to the basketball game, supposedly three of the guys are going to wear cheerleading outfits. lol, i don't really care.

--

rita said she might start wearing tu-tu's.
no comment on that one.

--

the rent soundtrack is pretty much the shit.
it makes me miss timothy.
ugh. -_-
speaking of my cousin, he's leaving wisconsin saturday.
sad.. but atleast then i'll get to talk to him on facebook again.

--

...i can't fucking get her out of my headdd.

i wish i had the confidence
to tell you that you love me too,
but unlike you,
i'm just not so sure.
because in the end text messages really don't mean anything,
i can write romance and never ever mean it.
but i can't pretend to not love you.
some emotions i just can not fake.

--

i'll shut up now.

-jenny
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Wednesday, February 18, 2009

hey moon, please forget to fall down
i don't know why she pulls away, because i know that no matter what she says she can't deny just how much she fucking loves it when he touches her.

ha. ha. ha.

~

104 days left till summer vacation. 69 actual school days. And three day weekend this weekend. Thank God.

gym class needs to fuck off.

~

It snowed today. It makes me depressed.
Oh well.

~

Later
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Tuesday, February 17, 2009

they always bring up how you changed.
hell or glory, i don't want anything inbetween.


--


it's cliche, i know, but i don't want to die knowing that no one ever knew my name.


is that selfish?
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Saturday, February 14, 2009

you promised me you'd be around.
so yeah.
happy valentines day.
--
don't freak out, i'm not going to kill my self anytime soon.
[i still have a girl to win over.]
thanks for being concerned.
--
i stayed home from school yesterday.
i was pretty much faking sick to get out of school,
but when i woke up i had a really bad headache.
again.
i'm really sick of having headaches.
--
i got my junior year schedule thursday.
i found out that i can infact graduate with my graduating class.
i guess that makes me happy.
yeah, that makes me happy.
i get to take biology next year.
--
i'm rp'ing.
yeah. i'm just epic like that.
[epic fail.]
--
ever have that feeling that whats happening really isn't happening?
like you're still asleep and dreaming?
and you feel like you have to will your self to wake up?
that's how the past two days have been for me.
--
Round Here by the Counting Crows is a great song.
PATD's cover is even better.
I'm all PATDy lately.
thanks cassie.
[lol]
--
i'm leaving tomorrow morning.
i should be sleeping right now.
i don't want to though.
because i really think i'm still sleeping right now.
colorfully fucked up... haha, yeah.
--
I'm actually really not sad.
or mad.
or depressed, whatever depression really is.
Hm.
--
Haha yeah, see you later.

-jenny

time:12:00am
music:i'm lost without you;blink 182
mood:confused
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Wednesday, February 11, 2009

[[just a quick glance at life]]
they tell me to stay out of danger..

but what do you do when your mind becomes the danger?











this week really needs to get over with.

-jenny

PS:

OKAY IM OFFICIALLY SAYING THAT THIS WEEK IS THE WORST FUCKING WEEK EVER. [not really. but what ever] FALL OUT BOY TICKETS WHERE ON SALE FOR TWO FUCKING WEEKS AND THEY'RE ALL SOLD OUT ALREADY.

IF I DIDNT KNOW CASSIE WOULD KILL ME IF I KILLED MY SELF ID BE KILLING MY SELF RIGHT NOW.

OISJRGIODJGOIJWIOGJWIOEGJSIOGJDIOZJGXZCNWIOEGJSOIGJIOWEJG.

JESUS CHRIST.
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Tuesday, February 10, 2009

honey is for bees silly bear.
school really sucked today, that's really all i can say about school.

but all the hugs i got after school made up for that i guess.

Todays my mom's birthday, after cassie goes to school i'm going to go make her a cheesecake.

Because Cheesecake > Other Cake.

Last night I cried the hardest that I have in a very long time, thanks to the lovely, amazing, song that is now on my site.

Pete Wentz is a fricken' God.

This week needs to hurry up and be over with..

We're studying Shakespeare in English. :]]]

To do, or not to do my homework.. that is the question...

-jenny
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Sunday, February 8, 2009

do you wanna get in my world? get lost in it.
myotaku=epic fail.

ps:
straightening my hair is such a pain in the ass.
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Friday, February 6, 2009

it's not me you're waiting for, give it up, give it up.
i have the entire house to my self until 9 oclook tonite. YOU GUYS WANNA COME OVAH AND PARTIEZ?

--Survey tiemz now--

What was the last bad thing to happen to you?: This whole bullshit micheal thing. that needs to gtfo my life.

The last good thing to happen to you?: Jordan.

How long was your longest relationship?: a year and a month or so.

Are you a really sensitive person?: not really, unless you really know how to beat me down. like jordan knows how.

Do you usually confront your problems or run away from them?: I keep them locked up inside this little room in the back of my head.

Are there any obstacles you're trying to overcome right now?: My love for someone that'll never love me. And the fact that that is an obstacle that i will never ever be able to overcome.

What's your biggest fear?: ..Darth being real? Moving her away from me.. Not being able to see my dad agian.

Have you ever starved yourself for an extended period of time?: The longest i've went without eating was probably a day and a half. i'm a fail anorexic.

Do all good things really come to an end?: No, real good things don't ever end.

Do you think today's youth is being corrupted/messed up because of TV?: Yes and no.

Do you often doubt yourself?: Oh boy, if you only knew.

What's something you used to care about, but really don't care about now?: People making fun of me, i do it enough my self to not give a shit anymore..

If someone asks you if they look okay, do you always tell the truth?: not always.

Are you more of a leader or a follower?: I never really get the chance to be a leader... a lot of the kids at my school think they're amazing and take over everything. and i'm to shy to step in and offer my knowledge.

Are you open-minded?: yes.

Do you smile at random people?:LOL SOMETIMES. BECAUSE IM CREEPY LIKE THAT.

Do you ever take your anger out on others?: Sometimes. Usually only on my family though.
i'm a horrible person.

Are you extremely opinionated?: Oh yes.

Have your parents supported every decision you've made?: Sort of, and the ones they wouldn't they really don't know about.. well i suppose my dad knows. considering. well. yeah.

Have you ever/would you ever help a stranger in need?: Depends... if they came up to me and asked for help and i had the means of helping them i probably would. But i'm not the type of person to just mail money or something to someone whos in need. like I said, I can be a really bad person sometimes.

Are materialistic things really important to you?: Sort of.

When was the last time you felt unbearably guilty?: I honestly feel guilty every day of my life. I will never not feel like I could have been a better daughter. I will never not feel that I could have saved him. and it all just makes it worse.

What do you think your purpose in life is?: I really think I make people laugh for a reason... And if I can make people happy for even just a second then i'm really happy. But who knows.

Have you ever felt like you were truly going insane?: Last night. I get these weird feelings sometimes and it drives me insane.

Have you ever been so sick you nearly died?: Not really, but i have been really, really, sick.

How many people do you trust with your life?: 1?

How often do you actually talk to your parents?: My mom a lot. my dad a lot more now that he's gone then when he was alive.

What's the most drastic thing that's happened in your life so far?: My dad commiting suicide. and do i dare? my girlfriend breaking up with me the same damn day.

Do you have a role model? If so, who?: People think it's wack, but i'll always look up to my dad.

What do you plan to do when you're out of high school/college?: I have no fucking clue.

Have you ever liked a guy/girl that you really tried not to like ?: Yeah. I try every day.
and fail.

Is there anything you've done with the opposite sex that you regret?: very much so.

Have you ever met someone who had multiple personality disorder?: So they've said.
I have a knack for falling in love with people who have multiple personality disorders. -_-

What's one of your most missed memories?: Singing karaoke on my front porch with Briana and Courtney and Nicholas rolling around with me in the grass.. driving around with my dad.

Does it sometimes feel like life is moving too fast?: Oh god yes.

What's something you absolutely must do before you die?: Do something worth being known for. and meet all of you guys.
I will not die not having been able to hump megan. tru fax.

Do you like to listen to rock music/screamo music when you're angry/upset?: I listen to rock music all the time.. but i usually listen to sad music when i'm upset or sad... sometimes screamo. but...usually just slipknot.

Have you ever run with scissors?: my life isn't that exciting.

Are you embarrassed to tell your parents you love them around your friends?: No. I love my mommy!

What's something that you've learned today?: That the north pole really isn't the north pole. and that the magnetic field in the earth turns around every one thousand years. or so they say.

What's the most valuable thing that you own?: My laptop and my iPod.

What's your favorite sappy/romantic song?: lol.. probably what hurtz da most by rascal flatts.
WHAT HURTS DA MOST. IS WHEN U BURN UR TOAST.

When you're upset, do you push others away?: when i'm upset. no one really knows but me.

Do you think that long-distance relationships are ever worth it?: No.

Who was the last person to tell you that they love you?: My mom probably. or rita.

What's something you feel like shouting to the world right now?: I WANNA SCREAM I LOVE U FROM THE TOP OF MY LUNGSSSS.

I WIPED MY ASS ON THE MONA LISA.

Do first impressions always stick with you?: Yes XD they do.

What's the most common misconception about you?: that i'm straight?!

Are you too kind for your own good?: YES I NEED TO STOP LETTING PEOPLE BE FUCKING ASSHOLES TO ME JESUS CHRIST.

Will you give someone a second chance if they can prove they deserve it?: Yeah.

Are you willing to pay more for designer/name brand stuff?: yeah, only if it's something i realllllllllly want or need.

Have you ever cried so much that you couldn't cry anymore?: Oh yeah.

Do you believe in karma?: yes.

Are you reckless?: no, but i can be to my self.

Have you ever intentionally hurt yourself?: lolz, define intentionally.

Do you like the band Karate High School?: never heard of them.

What's the best book you've ever read?: Fight Clubs pretty epic.
but i really liked the book boot camp.

Do you like the smell of Sharpies?: yes.

Which friend have you know the longest, and for how long?: Nikki! Hmm, kindergarten

Is there anything that people ridicule you for?: I DRESS LIKE AN EMOOO. -_-



THANKGODFORFRIDAYS.


-jenneh

time:4:42
music:give it up;midtown
mood:okay.
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Thursday, February 5, 2009

I can't remember the good old days.
comment responses;

krissy; i know. i wanna see that movie. lol

steph; Hmmm.. my mom will be, uh..uhm... 45! Yeah, she'll be 45. If only I could draw, i could draw her something. I was watching American idol too, two people from Milwaukee got threw! :3 That pink haired girl didn't sing very well... but she had nice hair.

casserole; i am not dreaming about humping you. thank you very much. it's only been four days honey. Lost can be very confusing at time, i agree.

Emily; well, my spanish teacher is rather attractive. Or should i say. Mi Maestro Espanol es muy guapo.

--

So, I got a D on my math test that I took last week. Lol. I'm gunna retake it I believe.. If I'll get a better grade is beyond me though. I need to try though because apparantly that D is now my third quarter as of now. Uh-oh.

Oh yeah, I got my 1st semester grades a while ago. I'm all A's and B's cept' i have a C in my phsyics class... Yet now the unit i'm on now I can understand. -_- I'm pretty sure I made the B honor role again..

For some reason i feel like I'm swamped by homework.. but I don't have any really.

We're going Cross Country Skii'ing Next Week. Uhm, no. Shoot me in the face please.

Micheal called Jordan a bitch today. I almost punched his face to the moon. No one fucks with my girl. [lololololololNOT]

I still really need money for my mom's birthday.. dammit. I might have to dig into my pittiful warped tour fund.

I'm alright in bed but i'm better with a pen. :]

Joe wall raped me today. It was pretty epic. Then i shoulder raped Jordan. more epicness right there.

yah, that's just how exciting my life is.

-jenny

time:4:23pm
music:27;fall out boy
mood:okay

PS: CLAY AIKEN IS GOING TO BE ON THE UPCOMING SEASON OF AMERICAS NEXT TOP MODEL. LOLOLOLOL OMG. THIS GIVES ME A REASON TO WATCH THAT DUMB ASS SHOW. OMGLOLOLOL
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Wednesday, February 4, 2009

i'm so addicted to you
recent events that i will explain in one liners.

-discriptive papers can suck it.
- I really can love math class sometimes.
-writting papers on Charles Dickens is full of fail.
-Almost finishing Cassie's story.
-My spanish teacher offered me money to buy my mom a birthday present.
-My mom's birthday is on the 10th
-I don't know what to get her/give her and i'm broke.
-my spanish teachers birthday was today.
-I realize now that my headaches are probably caffeine headaches.
-Ever since I got a haircut, everyone else has been.
-So, did you know the worlds gunna end in 2012?
-Magnets are fun.
-Old English teachers asking about ex-boyfriends is epic fail.
-Korean Jon rubbed his ass on me.
-I can confuse my Language Arts class with my poetry.
-I kinda love my self for that.
-I'm sort of in love with the song 'Big City Dreams' by the band Never Shout Never!
-If only she hadn't told me it reminds her of me.
-My Uncle lies to the DMV.
-Fight Club is wack.
-I love Fight Club.
-Logan Shendal is the most annoying person in the world.
-I finally cleaned my room for the first time In i don't even know how long.
-I JUST wasted a good portion of your time.

lolz.

-jenny

time:4:12pm
music:silver and cold;afi
mood:okay
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