Tuesday, August 17, 2010

I stole this from Belinda :X
Random survey thing

[x] You have a boyfriend/girlfriend.
[x] You have your own room.
[x] You own a cell phone.
[x] You have an mp3 player/ipod/discman.
[] Your parents are still married.
[x] You love your family
[] There is a pool/spa in your backyard.

T 0 T A L: 5

[x] You dress the way you want to.
[x] You hang out with friends more than once a week.
[x] There is a computer/ laptop in your room.
[] You have never been beaten up
[x] You are allowed to listen to the music you want to.
[x] Your room is big enough for you
[x] People don't use you for something you have.
[x] You have been to the movies.

T 0 T A L: 12

[] You have over 500 friends on facebook (Hell, I don't even know 500 people.)
[x] You have pictures on facebook
[?] Your parents let you have a facebook
[] You get allowance/loan.
[x] You collect something normal.
[] You look forward to going to college
[x] You don't wish you were someone else.
[x] You play a sport.
[x] You want to do something after school/college

T 0 T A L: 17

[] You own a car/truck.
[x] You usually don't fight with your parent(s).
[x] You have never got a failing grade on a report card in your life
[x] You have friends.
[] You've never had a detention

T O T A L: 20

[x] You know what is going on in the world.
[x] You are happy with your life
[x] You usually aren't sick.
[x] You know more than one language.
[x] You have a screen name. (YAY XD)
[x] You own a pet.
[x] You know the words to more than 5 songs.
[wtf?] You don't have any .

T O T A L: 27

Total over all: 27

times it by 3 = 81

101%+: A+
90-100%: A
80-89%: B
70-79%: C
60-69%: D
00-59%: F
---------

B? For what? Lol.
Comments (0) | Permalink

Friday, August 6, 2010

One more song, before I go.
*yawn* I'm so tired. was up late webcaming with Megan and Nick last night. Lol. Then I got woken up by Stephy kitty walking all over me.. I guess she wanted me to get up. haha.

I got nothing going on today, or the next day, or the next.. considering I can't see Jordan until monday at musical practice.. :( So i'll probably be cooped up in the house until then playing video games all day and eating pocky! Mwahaha. I found the big boxes of pocky and it's wonderful!

I wanna go to the zoo. but theres no zoo around here :( I guess I'll have to deal with looking at all the nasty cows and pretty horses and that'll have to be good enough.. Oh the thrills of living in the country.

Well I have a headache now and it sounds like something is murdering my dog so I'll be off. How are you guys?

-Jenny
Comments (0) | Permalink

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

move on, move forward.
Jeez, I hate painting and that's all I've been doing at musical practice! Oh well. Just glad I didn't get any on my new shirt. haha. Never give two middle schoolers paint and paint brushes and expect them to not get paint all over the floor, even though you tell them that you CAN'T get paint on the floor they still do... *sigh* oh well.

Theres a dance at the park tonight, and my distant cousins are playing there with their band feedback. it's not going to be the best thing ever but maybe I'll go just to get out of the house. I need to get my mind off of things and it seems home is where they hit me most.

Oh well. Off to musical practice again.

-jenny
Comments (0) | Permalink

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Don't leave me here again..
I should try to post more often. Considering I rarely write anymore, or do anything creative really.

I can't believe it's august already, and that in less then a month I'm going to be 18. It's weird to think about because I don't feel like an adult so why bother calling me one? I need a job.. I know that. Jordan and I are also getting our senior pictures done the day after my birthday. Hmmn, I don't know what to wear. Normal clothes no doubt... no dresses or fancy things. We'll see what kinda clothes I can find :D

Last night I went with Jordan and her family to the Tomah fair and it was lots of fun! We saw lots of animals and school mates who amount to less then the equivalent. HAH. I saw Llama's for the first time ever! We also went on a few rides, one of which has become my favourite ride now! I got to eat a chocolate covered banana and had some freshly squeezed lemonade for the first time in foreverrrr! Surprisingly I had a good time with my future family... despite all the drama we go through.

I really want to go to an Adam Lambert concert! God dammit why do I live in the middle of no where?!! *sigh* oh well.

-Jenny
Comments (0) | Permalink

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Is there something inside me that i don't see?
I'm swirling through my past and my future
somehow I just can't sit still in my present and watch it all fall into place
because without the pieces nothing can be whole..
how am I going to make it in this world?
how am I going to make it..
With you I know I will
but I promised you a life that we'll be proud of
but what If I can't pull up my end of the bargain
what if I can't give you what you deserve?

I want to marry you,
I want to give you a baby.
But so many things have to happen before then.
Believe me I wish I could just fast forward to it all
but I'm a mess right now.

What exactly am I going to do?
I need to stop being useless.
we need to start by getting out of here.
but how? How when all we have is this?

We'll make it.. we have to.

Comments (0) | Permalink

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Forget it.
This is why i never told you about my problems in the first place. You never answered my question and I know you think that our friendship wasn't worth the time, to be honest I don't know why it even existed. All you did was hurt me every time it came to an end, and no I'm not blaming you, I'm just saying. Whatever. I don't think you even know what Love is.

Sometimes I miss you. Other time I just wish I never met you. I don't know what to do anymore. 99% of the time you're all that's worth it.

I don't want to see him.. even if he has changed.. fear wracks through my body and my heart tries to find a way to slip out of my body, nothing in the world makes me more terrified then him. I'm not scared of him, so much as I'm afraid of what he could make me do to me..

And to think I never used to give a shit about myself.

Maybe someday we'll be strong enough to leave it all behind.


Comments (0) | Permalink

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Spinning.
I feel like a disaster in this town. I don't belong. I don't belong anywhere though. No where but in your arms. Every morning I wake up and roll over and expect the warmth of your body next to me. To much of a trick I suppose spending so much time with you. 2 months away from being an official adult, but I feel like I'm stuck in a dream where I'm 10 again and I have my dad back. Not the demon that inhabited him before it died but someone who loved me... but who cares really? Can't change the past. That's why I carefully plan our future. Set it in stone. Maybe I try too hard.

I hate summer. As much as I say I hate it, I need to be busy. My many runs on one track; Paranoia. Give it up Jenny.

I'm Spinning.
Comments (0) | Permalink

Monday, May 17, 2010

An older guy died today on the highway.. got sideswiped by a semi. They brought his wrecked pick up truck to the junk yard behind our track at school so Jordan and I decided to go exploring to see it.

The truck was completely ruined, you couldn't even tell the front drivers side was a car.. the windshield was completely destroyed and the steering wheel was squished.. I don't even know where the motor was. one tire was missing, or under the rest of the wreckage.. and the other was caved in.

His guts were everywhere though.. stuck on the seat belt and on the door frame and the broken windshield and the lose wires. there was blood all over the seat and the door.. Just all over like he just exploded, which I suppose in a way that's just what he did.

I guess his wife was with him too. I really doubt she survived but maybe? there were pictures on the passengers seat too, which i don't understand.. then again I suppose they were trying to identify the man.. I'll never be able to forget that smell..

I guess the thing that bothers me the most is the fact that the key was still in the ignition.

Human life.. is so.. fragile..


Comments (0) | Permalink

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Haha well doesn't that sound familiar?
You never learn do you?
don't you realize you're doing the exact same thing you did to fuck up our friendship?
You better stop before you lose that too.

:D Haha, I'm a bitch.
But I'm so very good at it. X3


Only 14 more days of school. hellz yahh.

-jennehhh~
Comments (0) | Permalink

Sunday, April 25, 2010

We're all part of the same sick little games..
lol. I love being the one who hurt everyone.
Honestly though, I don't care.
I've been hurt enough in my life to deserve some kind of revenge.


Besides I have all I need in this life now. and if I ever lose it then I won't bother living anymore. There is no point. but I know I'll never lose this.

I don't want to go tomorrow.

Fuck.
Comments (0) | Permalink