Monday, April 5, 2010

yes, Belinda got me pregnant!


--

I have practice today.. which fails, lol.
but I throw in the meet tomorrow! yay! not.
I'm sure I'll do horrible lol like I did on practice on thursday.

...Something is dying in my room but I can't figure out what it is.

I hope you all had a good Easter, mine was alright. I missed my baby :( But I get to see him today! :D

♥jennnnayy.
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Thursday, April 1, 2010

I'm pregnant..





.............
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Wednesday, March 31, 2010

I'm alive.
Please keep me that way.







but you know that dying isn't what i'm afraid of.

i love you.
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Thursday, February 25, 2010

What is the point really of trying to hide it? In the end they're going to eventually all find out because this is never going to just fade away. This is forever and you're just going to have to live to learn with it. Because this sound? The sound of her breathing in my ear while we both fall asleep in separate beds? No it won't be for long. Were going to make it. Were going to have a life so much better then either of you.

We'll do it babe, just you wait. You gotta just keep on breathing my love

<3
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Thursday, February 11, 2010

don't bother reading this.
Gosh, I never have time to post here anymore. I guess maybe I'm just using this place now as a way to remind myself to slow down and reflect on all the things that have happand since i last had a time to slow down and believe me I don't get those chances very often, but right now i'm completely alone. Jordans not here, and Mom and Laura are off at the store. It's weird. I'm not really used to being completely alone. I used to love being alone but now it just doesn't feel right. i've changed so much.

it's almost been two months.. i'm so very happy. It's impossible to explain.. but it's like I never ever dreamed that this would actually happen. Of course I dreamed about it all the time but I never thought I'd actually have my dreams come true, have all my wishes become my realitys. it's amazing, and believe me if you really really want something and try so very hard to get it you will. :) Keep that in mind?

I got my senior schedule yesterday.. It's so weird to think that we'll be seniors next year. I have ACT's coming up really fast and i'm pretty sure I know what I want to go to school for.. but I just hope and pray that I don't change my mind. I'm sure I will.. but hopefully things will still be okay.

I know with her by my side things will always be okay. it's funny.. when you love someone this much they become a part of you. A part of you that when it's taken away it's difficult to do anything, to function, to breath, to do all those normal things you always do and don't notice how easily they used to be until they're not anymore. They become your energy, your willpower. your motivation. your all and everything. they become your life, and without them you do nothing but exist with no reason and no purpose.

thank you for giving me purpose my dear.

-jenny
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Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Crying eyes so beautiful
*sigh* I have nothing better to do then update here because Today and tomorrow are finals and that means that our classes are longer so right now i have a two hour long study hall and then another two hour study hall at the end of the day. Needless to say I am running out of things to do by now and it's only the second hour of the day.

I have a few doctors appointments coming up soon too. Which is good considering I think I really need to get a CAT scan... My back and my stomach have been killing me lately to the point that it's difficult for me to move around. But I'm stubborn and I don't really want to go to the doctor.

This saturday it'll be a month for Jordan and I. Officially. Things are going great too. I never thought I'd be at this point in my life, because I never thought I'd win her. And all the lies, and all the bad stuff that has happaned in the past two years is like erased.. Which may be good or bad. She made up to me all the times that she hurt me and we're okay. We're better then okay. I never wanted to use the word perfect but that's where we are and I hope that this feeling never goes away, but i'm sure it will change but it'll always be there.. because i'm never letting go of this. ever.

I may be a fool.. But at least i'll admit it.

No school friday.. Thank god, it's only tuesday and it feels like it should be friday already.

Man.. i'm bored. =/

and paranoid now.

So I guess I'll go play some keyboarding games... lol.

Later :D

-jenny
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Thursday, January 14, 2010

Vindicated
I am not the same person that I was a year ago.
and I have never felt this happy before in my life.

I just hope that this feeling never ever goes away,
but the paranoia can dissapear at any point in time now.

Oh, yeah, Happy New Year everyone.

-Jenny
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Wednesday, December 30, 2009

A Teenage Vow
I don't like shrimp ramen, I really don't.
Shrimp sometimes to me tastes like cat food.
._. Not saying that all shrimp is bad! some is REALLY good but only if it's made right.

I need a job...
really ned a job..
and a better way to waste my time then sitting at this computer xD
But, despite that I sent my laptop in to get fixed yesterday so hopefully I'll have it back by the middle of January.
-_- stupid thing. The bad part is I'll probably lose all of my music
and hopefully i won't get in trouble for having limewire on my computer XDD

I have enough money to buy bigger gauges today... but I think i'll buy something else instead... haha.

my mom is hosting a teenage party new years eve.
who is on the guest list?
well.. just me and Jordan.
haha.
:) this will be waaay better then last years party.. xD
and hopefully won't end in me crying my self to sleep again.
Hah.

Welp. I'm gunna go play the wii or something now.

-jenny
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Sunday, December 27, 2009

No matter what I do I always feel like the bad guy, and I hate that.

I've been sick for almost a week now. It's getting sickening.

and I just want to see her, but her parents are assholes. Oh well. I guess I can wait until tomorrow. I guess.

It's almost New Years, so much for that resolution hahaha. :)

-jenny
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Thursday, December 24, 2009

I believe in nothing but the beating of our hearts
Merry Christmas/Christmas eve everyone.
I don't post much anymore because my laptop has been broken for awhile and I don't really ever get on the computer anymore because either my sister is always on or because i'm busy with other things.

I personally am not having Christmas until Sunday night but I hope everyone else has a good one. :)
I guess we're opening presents tomorrow morning instead of tonight like we usually do.
Which is fine with me I never really liked opening presents the night before anyways even though no one in my house still believes in santa. Haha.

I can't believe I won't be single this christmas, it feels so weird to actually be able to tell people that we're in a relationship. Because honestly my entire life right now feels like an unbelieveable dream. But I like it, and I don't want to ever lose whatever this is that we have found but a part deep down inside of me knows that we will but i just don't want to think about that right now. I'll deal with the pain when that comes and if I can't deal with it, well then so be it.

*deep breath*

The Breaking Benjamin concert was amazing, I can't wait to go see them again in January with Three Days Grace and Flyleaf. :) and hopefully, HOPEFULLY i get to go with her. :D Cept it won't be the same considering how many people we will know at this concert.

I hate having to be secretive about us. But it's better then nothing, believe me it's better then nothing.

and now i'm done, once again. :D
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