Saturday, February 23, 2008

Listening to: Nine In the Afternoon: Panic at the disco.
Time: 11:49
Mood: wanna disspear.

We didnt end up going to milwaukee this weekend because my moms car didnt get fixed so we had no transportation to get there....

School was shitty. It was FFA week this week and we had an FFA breakfast this morning.. you had to pay to eat breakfast and i dont have any money since im saving it all for when i go see cassie and megan. Which i didnt mind it that much but we had an assembly thursday and it wasnt the assembly that bothered me but what happaned after. and a certain conversation today... its driving me insane..

...im a horrible person... end of story.

other than that... nothingelse fascinating has happaned to me latley.

Im.. Just not who i was before. and I hate my self for it. and im sick of it.

32 days



this could quite possibly be the only thing making things okay. ryden makes me smile :]

¢¾;;

and today its been 6 months, im feeling weaker then i've ever been. The longer you've been gone the shorter my time seems to be. I cant help but wonder what it'd be like today, if you hadnt chose to stay awake. I wonder if you really know, how much it hurts me, to see not only my own life fall apart but everyone i love. Im stuck inside this nightmare, screaming not to be heard.. This never ending pain, that never seems to subside. Its growing so much stronger, pulling at me..this time its pulling me down, stop it all before it starts.. and it finishes what i began.
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