Tuesday, December 30, 2008

December 30, 2008
I'm back. I really don't have much to say about my 'trip' spent to much time with relatives and felt bad leaving my grandma alone. found out that my uncle may try to move up here and start his own buisness. realized that if it ever did happen it'd be a pretty big oppritunity for me. And hell, it's ironic considering one of dads first jobs was working with my uncle. I'm my father in so many ways. Just, hope we don't have the same outcome heh?

I went to the mall yesterday. I got a Invader Zim hoodie and some perfume, because that's just the way I am.

Yesterday went so slow, and I don't really know why. Even while I was on the phone it seemed like time was going to slow. I don't know. Maybe Wendsday's not supposed to happen. But I don't think I'll be drinking so why should it matter? Nothings going to happen. Now i'm kind of dissapointed though, because I kind of promised it to her. Oh well.

Talked on the phone with Cassie, while her brother and friend where over. Got told that they'd both screw me and every other cliche way men throw around the idea of sex. I guess it's nice to know that a fairy fucker isn't the only one who wants his way with me.

For the record, i'm no good at giving sex advice.

Talked to Megan, lolz ensued.

I had a dream last night that I was doing 'suggestive' things to one of my friends boyfriends.. many things I suppose I should say. Which isn't cool at all because I have no feelings for him what-so-ever. And on top of it, he's one of my friends boyfriends. I believe I said something to him in the dream too under the lines of "What about Her?" ....It was so fucking weird, and the worst part is I know in the dream I didn't enjoy it. Because I remember saying to my self "This is no different then the last time" Maybe it's just because he was a guy or something... I don't know. But now i'm confused because I know i've never had feelings for him, and I don't want to start now just because of some stupid dream it wouldn't be so bad but he's a hardxcore drug addict and gets drunk all the time. And as if all of that isn't bad like i've sad he's taken by one of my friends. UGH.

I kind of blame this on Cassie. lol. Although I wasn't thinking about much of anything like that when I went to bed. How come I can never have good dreams about the person I want to dream about? Oh well.

But she promised, so she's gotta give me something to dream about now.

it'll never be the same.

time: 1:57pm
music: I Must Be Dreaming; The Maine
mood: bleh.
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