Thursday, February 11, 2010

don't bother reading this.
Gosh, I never have time to post here anymore. I guess maybe I'm just using this place now as a way to remind myself to slow down and reflect on all the things that have happand since i last had a time to slow down and believe me I don't get those chances very often, but right now i'm completely alone. Jordans not here, and Mom and Laura are off at the store. It's weird. I'm not really used to being completely alone. I used to love being alone but now it just doesn't feel right. i've changed so much.

it's almost been two months.. i'm so very happy. It's impossible to explain.. but it's like I never ever dreamed that this would actually happen. Of course I dreamed about it all the time but I never thought I'd actually have my dreams come true, have all my wishes become my realitys. it's amazing, and believe me if you really really want something and try so very hard to get it you will. :) Keep that in mind?

I got my senior schedule yesterday.. It's so weird to think that we'll be seniors next year. I have ACT's coming up really fast and i'm pretty sure I know what I want to go to school for.. but I just hope and pray that I don't change my mind. I'm sure I will.. but hopefully things will still be okay.

I know with her by my side things will always be okay. it's funny.. when you love someone this much they become a part of you. A part of you that when it's taken away it's difficult to do anything, to function, to breath, to do all those normal things you always do and don't notice how easily they used to be until they're not anymore. They become your energy, your willpower. your motivation. your all and everything. they become your life, and without them you do nothing but exist with no reason and no purpose.

thank you for giving me purpose my dear.

-jenny
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