Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Really?
really where did all this time ago? How was it one minute 2007 and now it's 2011? four fucking years passed me by and I never even noticed. How am I here? How did this happen? How did high school fly by.

I miss everything about four years ago. I miss all the people that made me who I was. I will never be able to let go of my past, even thought it's already let go of me.

I do not want to grow old, I don't want to be a responsible adult. But I am, everyday I'm making decisions for my self. I don't feel like I fit in high school anymore because I can't handle their form of immaturity. The discrimination is what bothers me the most, but I'm going to have that where ever I am. I'm really just not happy with the world that I live in. If I could just live in a community with the people I know, the great people here..
Things would be okay. But I draw out a world full of perfection without realizing that perfection is un-attainable.

I need to realize that, and face the facts that this is the way it's going to be. This is what this life is.

Don't get me wrong. I finally have what I've always wanted and I realize everyday that I am so lucky to have the best girlfriend ever. She is so good to me when I can be the shittiest person ever. I just hope she realizes how much I love her and that she doesn't have to worry because If I ever left her, I'd be signing my life away.

How can I kill myself when I've finally learned how to live?

Please Jenny, just change. Cheer up a little bit. Life isn't the bad. Not if you make it better.

Goodnight MyOtaku. I miss you.

_jenny_
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