Thursday, April 14, 2011

I'm not the only one to blame you know? I tried hard to make what we had work but in the end it just wasn't enough and it's not my fault that I fell in love with someone else. I'm sick of feeling like i'm the only one to blame. The truth is that we had wouldn't have worked out in the end and I wish you'd just realize that and move on.. I do still want whats best for you and i know for a fact that I never was and never would be what is good for you. --- It's been a really busy week lately, hence the fact that I haven't been posting much. Monday I had my job interview and that went okay, I probably didn't say all the right things because it was my first one but I tried. He could tell that I was nervous. Everyone can tell when I'm nervous. And... well in short, he called me Tuesday and left me a voicemail and told me that I didn't get the job. I wasn't really expecting to get it though so it's okay. Theres a diner hiring in Westby that I think i'm going to try and apply too. I could apply to McDonalds but I know too many people who work there and i'd rather not work with people I know. I want to work in Sparta so I'm closer to Stritch's house when I house sit for him in the summer since he'll let me drive his truck to work (which is a stick, and I don't know how to drive a stick but oh well) I don't know. It's so fucking hard. I just really need/want the money. I'm almost 19 years old. I shouldn't be mooching off my mother anymore. Nonetheless though she bought me my graduation dress the other day. It's really pretty but not something I'd ever have imagined my self to wear. I don't have a prom dress yet but I'm going to have to get to it considering prom is in two weeks. Speaking of prom Jordan and I are going tanning Monday. Which is something I vowed to never ever do but I look like a fucking ghost when I wear dresses so it's for a good cause I guess. It'll probably be the only time I go anyways. Part of me doesn't even want to go to Prom but my baby has such a beautiful dress that I couldn't ever say no to that. Plus it's our senior prom and I love dancing with her :) I've been getting into manga again. I've been reading the D.N. Angel series finally. It's really good. I want to read Gravitation again but I can't find anywhere that has it. My library doesn't and my barnes and noble doesn't. I could order it online but I don't have any money.. -_-; Huh. The day of silence is tomorrow. I'm doing it. But we didn't make a big deal of it like we did last year. I don't want a repeat of last year with all the harassment and homophobes and assholes and it just made me so angry so i'll do it in silence because I always will be silenced in this world. Sadly nothing I do, or anyone else will ever stop that. Oh, i'm finally going to the doctor tomorrow to get my knee looked at. I have no clue whats wrong with it but we'll see. welp, if you read this i congratulate you and apologize. _jenneh_

Comments (2)