Thursday, February 12, 2015

You left me. I never thought those words would come out of my mouth. I never thought you'd get sick of my shit. I never thought we'd be "that" couple. I thought we'd make it. Maybe it's my fault. Maybe I broke us because I couldn't trust you. Because you shouldn't have trusted me. I'm not a good person. Now I'm left to suffer the consequences of being so selfish. Karma has come around for once.
I don't know anymore guys. I know none of you are here anymore but I don't know how much more of this life I can take.
disappointment after disappointment. I'm starting to think that the world is out to get me.
i'm starting to think that it should have been me hanging from that beam.
i have no direction and I don't think I'm getting anywhere any time soon.

I'm tired of giving so much to be fucked over in the end.
maybe I want to hurt you. I want you to realize how miserable you've made me. How much you hurt me. How much my heart aches every night that I have to lie in this bed without you. How little closure you gave me.
It's not that I don't want to try. I want to get better, I want to move on. I want to get over you and be completely happy with my self and my life so I can rub it in your face.
I can't though. Not yet, and I don't know if ever.
I don't know how people can move on after heartbreak. I gave everything to you. There won't be another person in this world for me because I gave it all to you and you threw it away.

You threw it all away and stepped on my heart like it never meant anything to you. It fucking hurts that you can just stop loving me and I can sit here with a pain in my chest that feels like you took all the life from me. You robbed me of the innocence that five years had given me. I never thought you'd leave.

but you did; and now i'm here picking up the pieces and walking towards disaster.

but as long as you're happy.
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