Tuesday, September 7, 2004

   Perfect Time of Day by Howie Day


It's the perfect time of day
It's the last day of your life
Don't let it drift away
While your heart is still racing
It's the perfect time of day

And you won't feel a thing
And you won't recall anything at all

Close your eyes
And take your last breath
Rest your head inside
The end is the beginning
And every point in between
Some are lost
Oh, some are lost

And you won't feel a thing
And you won't recall anything at all

Let your colors clooide
All the time is so fleeting
I quit running behind
Oh, I know your meaning
You look too far
for what you want to say
And you look for
The perfect time of day

And you won't feel a thing
And you won't recall anything at all

It's the perfect time of day
It's the perfect time of day
Come on now
Come on now, come on now,
It's the perfect time of day
Come on now
Come on onw comon on now
It's the perfect time of day with you
Come on with you
Ah yeah, all lost.

TELL ME ABOUT THE PERFECT TIME EVERYBODY...Farewell...sorry i am unable to post my thoughts...this song is jsut so beautiful.


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   let me be your star to wish upon...




sorry i have been away for so long...things have just been topsy turvy these past few days...on friday was our scrimage game and our school dance...that was a very enjoyable time...i made new friends and proved that white girls can dance...the drummer of this one band said he admired my singing and that i was for sure going to win the battle of the bands the following day...i know some people say that punks, goths, freaks and the like do not dance to r & b and hip hop and things of that sort...that is an incorrect statement...i was dancing with them in the corner and they were awesome...we were all getting down with one another...dancing upon each other...like a big orgy but without any intercourse of any sort..just freak and dirty dancing...the following day was as mentioned earlier the battle of the bands...we did not win...our applause was great...we were welcomed with a burst of screaming and clapping...which of course was very encourageing...i was wishing that ragweed would win...due to the fact that they are awesome and that my love interest is in that band...it was narrowed down to two bands...the rest of us were backstage...then the drummer hurried backstage and reached for my arm and pulled me back on stage with him...he placed me in front of him and was yelling to the crowd that i should be the one to win...but i turned back to him and said that ragweed should win...so it went back and forth for a few moments until i walked behind the curtains...his band, ragweed, won and i was thrilled...sunday was rather uneventful...so many frustrations...my ex is going through so much mental crap right now...and i discovered today that my mother had lied to me about something and because of that it caused a chaotic motion to occur...no i was not loving that ride of depression and insanity...things are returning back to their normal state...i pray that they remain so...i will attempt to stop by your sites...i find it fretful when i cannot see how you are doing and leave you with loving words...i shall find some time for you all...i love you eternally, my dear Otaku friends...i bid you farewell and goodnight...slumber well let your dreams embrace you tight.
~Sleepless Dreamer~
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Tuesday, August 31, 2004

   Love has plunged into the flames once more...
well...today sheena and i auditioned for the Battle of the Bands...we made it...most of those participating are punk bands...we are doing a cover of Michelle Branch's "Goodbye To You"...only a sadder version...which is rather ironic seeing as to how i have said goodbye to my significant other...for good...no turning back...i have grown out of love with him and i told him...buecause well frankly i cannot continue to lie...my mother i should have held in till graduation...yeah right...lie to both of our hearts...nice idea...live in agony...now he hates me...more than anything...doesn't trust me...doesnt' want to be friends...and he told my mom all of these things about how i have fucked up in the relationship...he never tells me any of these things...how am i supposed to improve if he cannot even be honest with me...?...it appears we both were not happy with each other but since i was the first one to open the mouth and voice my opinion i get to be the villian...and my mother places this load of guilt upon my shoulders as if i don't have enough crap pushing me down...frankly i don't care anymore...i had to do this...for me...sure it hurts because i am out of my comfort zone but i cannot lie to us both...i have fallen out and in love with someone else...yes...i am horrible...here he loves me and worships me and i go and fall out of love with him and in love with someone else...he is just so tantalizing...this other guy i mean...Ri i have decided is more of like a buddy ...i love my ex as a best friend but he doesn't want that...so i have to accept our fate...x_X..yes death to it...but this recent crush...we shall refer to him as Age...he was performing at the Battle of the Bands today...and *sigh*...he is awesome...one of the nicest guys i know...my best friend knows him and has been feeding me info...i have talked to him a few times and each discussion has been pleasant...he likes AFI...like me...not punk...goth...or any of that sort...just himself...awesome guitaritst...and did i mention he sings...?...he is hispanic but looks completely white...he has brown hair with long blond bangs he wears in front of his face...and has a dreamy smile and green eyes with flecks of yellow...he is crazy in a cool sense...in any case...i do not wish to jump into things so quickly...otherwise i may find myself drowning in pain and i do not wish to seem as if i am acting on rebound

...here are two songs by The Cure which are really explaining some points on my love life at the moment...

"Apart"

he waits for her to understand
but she won't understand at all
she waits all night for him to call
but he won't call anymore
he waits to hear her say
forgive
but she just drops her pearl-black eyes
and prays to hear him say
i love you
but he tells no more lies

he waits for her to sympathize
but she won't sympathize at all
she waits all night to feel his kiss
but always wakes alone
he waits to hear her say
forget
but she just hangs her head in pain
and prays to hear him say
no more
i'll never leave again

how did we get this far apart?
we used to be so close together
how did we get this far apart?
i thought this love would last forever

he waits for her to understand
but she won't understand at all
she waits all night for him to call
but we won't call
he waits to hear her say
forgive
but she just drops her pearl-black eyes
and prays to hear him say
i love you
but he tells no more lies

how did we get this far apart?
we used to be so close together
how did we get this far apart?
i thought this love would last forever


"End"

i think i've reached that point
where giving up and going on
are both the same dead end to me
are both the same old song

i think i've reached that point
where every wish has come true
and tired disguised oblivion
is everything i do

please stop loving me
please stop loving me
i am none of these things

i think i've reached that point
where all the things you have to say
and hopes for something more from me
are just games to pass the time away

please stop loving me
please stop loving me
i am none of these things

i think i've reached that point
where every word that you write
of every blood dark sea
and every soul black night
and every dream you dream me in
and every perfect free from sin
and burning eyes
and hearts on fire
are just the same old song

please stop loving me
please stop loving me
i am none of these things
i am none of these things

i am none of these things

Emotions
Created by andy and taken 5611 times on bzoink!
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Are you emotional :
Do songs make you cry? If so, name a few :
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What emotion do you usually feel :
+ Sadness +
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Do you hate crying :
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Who looks good when they cry :
How else do you express sadness :
Are you sad all the time :
+ Anger +
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What's the worst thing you've done when you were mad :
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What's the worst thing someone's done to make you mad :
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What makes you happy :
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What's the worst thing someone can do while they're happy :
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Ever been so scared you couldn't breathe :
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Do rollercoasters scare you :
+ The strongest emotion +
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Sight :
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+ What do you do +
When the emotion suck :
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+ Would you rather +
Never feel again :
Feel loneliness or anger for the rest of your life :
Be happy forever and never experience bad times :
Cause misery :
Feel misery :
Be alone :
Be with everyone you know :
+ Who +
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Thursday, August 26, 2004

   It has been lovely but i must leave and scream now...my cries shall not be heard
dear sweet rotting corpes...this maddening internet service has thrown me off-line and has deleted my message i was writing and readily about to post...that angers me so...i have my thoughts planned out and it is removed in three seconds...let me see if i can retract my thoughts and figure what i was speaking of...ah yes...

an aura of happiness surrounds me...but inside my soul and heart a seed of sadness has been planted yet again and fretfully it has begun to bloom...i do not understand what is occuring within...but it is driving me into the depths of lunacy...my emotions are being placed within a jar and tossed about...in any case...i also have become better friends with the guys i was in the band with...that is all except for the drummer...he still angers me...he no longer speaks to me...which is understandable...i cannot stand him at times...he ridicules me and then goes and does the same thing...he goes down these non-sense venues and never explains his meaning...sometimes what he says appears rather insulting but every moment you catch on and try to figure it out he fronts you with a "nevermind...forget i said anything"...that can be extremely frustrating...am i lieing to myself in more ways than one on my outward personality...?...i do not know how i appear towards others...i have been feeling this reign of confidence these past few weeks but seemingly it has plummetted down and i no longer can call it mine...then there are these issues of love flying around in my face begging for some sort of ravishing attention but i do not feel as if i owe any to it...apparantly i have been flirting without truly knowing it...dear me...i only want to be friendly...i love being in the company of males...not for sexual purposes mind you...but they make excellent friends...they are honest and there is no pressure...you don't have to look good for them and you can joke about things you normally couldn't with your boyfriend...but i was not aware that my actions were being perceived as flirting...this is worrying me due to the fact that this one guy in particular is my friends interest...she has a slight crush on him but doesn't speak much in his presence...i on the other hand am rather talkative and joking and continuously smiling...it is only because i find him in interesting character...he does have a lovely accent however and is quite handsome but that is not the key components in this discussion...

i feel i must be on my way...my mind is reeling with too many thoughts and so many things that must be done...*sinks even further within the black hole...*...also i am working on two new songs which is very eventful...the first has no title yet and the second is "The End of the Bottomliss Pit"...Farewell all...i think i shall be able to visit a few of your sites...once again i am sorry...if i disappear for a few days it is due to the fact that i have to follow a schedule now...i hate schedules...i despise them greatly...



hold on for one moment...there is this band that i find very infectious...i have heard numerous songs by them and am pleased with every one that greets my ears...if any of you know anything of them please do let me know...there name is Diary of Dreams
~The Innocent Demon~


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Saturday, August 21, 2004

   Is that happiness knocking on my door...?...o_O
whew...finally some time to update and return to all of your sites...unfortunately i was unable to go to the Slant concert tonight...grr...oh well...there shall be others...hmm...what is happening...?...oh yes...sorry my memory has hit a fuzzy point for some reason...dear heavenly blood...my mother has just entered and has given me twenty minutes to do all of this...let me see how far i can get done with the task ahead of me...i have missed you all so much and i really hate it when i cannot go on and see how you all are doing...which i hope is wonderful...you all deserve the greatest of happiness in my opinion because you are all so kind and caring...^__^

well life has actually been pushing off of the charts of joy...this first week back has been tiring yet very enthralling...only downfall was my boyfriend and i had another fight...i pushed my foot down and am sticking to my guns...i have had enough of him...he hangs around the house...tries to win me back...but his attempts are not working...in any case i have finally been able to speak to this rather interesting character who sits beside me in beginning cooking...our teacher requested that we start the discussion going at our table since everyone was so shy and dead...well we started speaking to one another and found it quite hard to cease...of course we went off topic and started talking about our lives and things of that sort...he is a skater and is being sponsored by a local sport shop...he is in a band in which he plays guitar...his favorite bands are Smashing Pumpkins and Red Hot Chilli Peppers...sorry i am going on about him but i do believe that i have become smitten with him...one thing that grabbed my attention of him was his hands...now usually the things that catch me are the hair and the eyes...but not in this case...he truly has beautiful hands...he is well-rounded on many topics... oh...sorry yet again...i should stop before i bore you all to death...but isn't it a lovely feeling...?...the rush of the blood to your cheeks as the rapture of making that connection flows through you...?...now i look forward to school even more so...i hope this doesn't make me appear as one who just rebounds on the next thing that breathes...i really can't explain it...we all have those occurences where everything in the conversation just clicks...it is difficult to desist in speaking to one another because you are so anxious to discover more of the person...*sigh*...oh dear...it seems that i am falling into the heart...the overwhelming emotions are crushing me as i am crushing on him...i feel like a young child once again who contains puppy love...

the night was very peaceful tonight...after all was at rest in the house i snuck out and walked to the school and climbed the fence to get to the track field...i then climbed this elevated area and watched the stars...it was so enlivening...being up there alone...with no one to disturb me or tear apart my thoughts...i am thankful for this escape...while up there i did some writing and reflecting on life...

I can breathe in and not feel as if i am pulling in a heavy weight with it as well...i love this feeling...this joy is settling itself inside...nestling deep within...shall it remain...?...or shall it abandon me as it always seem to do...?...well perhaps the following weeks shall prove what Joy wishes to do...Thank you all for your kind and endearing words...*hugs everyone*...i appreciate it...you have all contributed to this feeling i now own...even when i had nothing but sadness you offered me what hope you could and that served as my guidance out of the abyss...Farewell all.

~The Innocent Demon~


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Monday, August 16, 2004

   Return to school....my final year here...
greetings all...i do hope you are all doing well on this lovely day...well as you all know summer must come to its dreadful end and we are left to return to the confined walls of school...awakening this morning was easy but not exciting...the only thing i was looking forward to was my sixth period and seeing my friends once more...but today actually turned into a rather eventful day...this is my schedule thus far...but the first three periods are due to change...

First Period...beginning cooking...i do not know a soul in this class so i am switching it to second period so i can bask in the presence of my best friend Cassie...

Second Period...beginning choir...my choir teacher was not rather pleased with these results he wants me in one of his advanced choirs thus i am moving that to third period...plus i can be with Joseph...

Third Period...p.e...the dreaded p.e...i am stuck taking this class because i remained in choir all of my years and could not make room for it...i am all alone in here so i am switching it to first period so i can be with my friends Joanne and Emsa.

Fourth...english AP...i am happy about this class and i have always loved english...i just am not so pleased that we have to write what the teachers call a Long Form...it is a twenty-five page or more on a single book...not something i enjoy doing...i always stress over it and have a nervous breakdown but i get the task done and always ace it...miraculously

fifth period...civics cp...i had ap but dropped because i was not so fond of the teacher...i had him the year prior to this school year and things just weren't clicking in that class...this class is much more pleasing...the teacher is a rather interesting character and plus Iruka is in my class...^__^...and someone i would rather not be there as well but i will not mention the name

sixth period...news production...otherwise known as the Live Wire...which is our school paper...i am highly excited about this class...i have been waiting for this and can't wait until it all comes together...the teacher was my english teacher last year and one of the reasons why she asked me to join was because she had always enjoyed my writing and thought this would a fun project for me to tackle...i completely agree...she said i am the most artistic...not in drawing but like creativity and things of that sort...i am going to try to be the Feature Editor...i really do not wish to be Co-Editor...I believe Darianne would fit that position much better than I...

so all in all today was a grade A day...i made some new acquaintances and was rather hyper today...i know sometimes it may be hard to believe that i am hyper but i get rather crazy...i always love hugging my friends...and i talk about the dumbest things...whatever arrives in my head usually pops out but only if i am comfortable around my surrounding environment...in addition i actually felt beautiful today...this is a rare gem that hardly occurs...i never feel beautiful but i have received a lovely haircut...very short and stylish...here is what it somewhat looks like short cuts page s41...i am not sure if that link was activated or not...but yes...that is all i have to say...



on a sidenote...i just noticed something...i was reading this book on christianity and it said that Jesus loves us for who we are...if that were so then why do we have to change our complete lifestyle...dress a certain way...talk a certain way...act a certain way...basically it is saying Jesus loves you for he wants you to be...not on who you truly are...



also if any of you are not busy on the twentieth of this montha and you find that you are in the vicinity of Los Angeles then go to my cousin's boyfriend's show. The name of the band is Slant and you can visit their site at www.slantmusic.com...you can e-mail th band for free tickets or call (213) 453-3480
here is the flyer with all of the info...


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Monday, August 9, 2004

This Feels All To Familiar...x_X...>_
*stares ahead rather lost in thoughts*...sorry all...i havn't been able to comment today...but i will leave comments on those entries i missed on the eighth...so look for them...I am so exhausted at the moment...i only wish to sleep...but alas this wish cannot be granted...i drifted on into a sleep at about two...and then i was awoken from a dream...the dream was rather frightening to me...this is what i recall...there is a hole in my chest...rubies are cascading from it...i move with the turn of the hall and see my boyfriend sitting at a table...the table top is designed like a painting i made...silver backdrop...a silver and black sky above...a teal and silver sea below...a golden orb in the center and within it a glowing red-orange fire...and white dots falling from the ocean to the sky...he has a knife i had given him as a present and my heart...the heart is pulsating rapidly...he is smiling slyly and using the knife to cut off little scraps...the pieces he cuts still beat as he slides them down into his mouth...then he looks at me and says "You've been torn away."...and i wake up...now i have this thing...in the corner of most of my papers and on cd cases i put the words TORN AWAY...and draw a tattered surrounding and i always draw a heart dripping with blood that has a dagger placed inside of it...earlier though my boyfriend had said something that disturbed me...the day was going blissfully until our conversation on the phone earlier in the night...i was mentioning to him of the happening of my friend splitting from her boyfriend...they fought over some of the same things we did...now as i have mentioned in previous entries, i am old fashioned...i don't move at a quickened pace...the holding of hands is something i consider a high way of showing affection...and i always love the stolen kisses...the innocent yet tender ones...my boyfriend however wishes for more...not sex mind you...but he wants me to be all over him...and he is always trying to feel me up...and slapping my ass...i find it rather nerving when i can't get up in front of him or pass by him without him slapping my ass...i have asked him to stop and when he gets too aggressive i pull away...and of course this annoys him...i mentioned on the phone that i was worried that i would push him away so much that he might leave me for another girl..before when i had this fear he always told me i was worth the wait and he would never even dream of crossing onto another girl and leaving me on Heartbreak Highway...but i fear that words can be too sweet...and their sugary taste eventually withers into a sour afterset...he told me that that could happen...he would get up and leave and go with another chick...i tried to shrug it off but i was feeling choked up...i wanted to leave the phone sitting there...luckily he had to get off...and when i hung up those words started drilling into my mind...reverberating and hurting with each resound...i do not plan to change to fix his lifestyle...but then i suppose i cannot expect that of him either...i am considering ending this before i end up even more bashed...he left me once before for his ex...even though he repeatedly denies it...i give him the play by play and he says that it didn't happen that way...i remember perfectly...my mother told me she had seen another girl hanging all over him...i knew he had female friends so i just left it at that...then he comes to my door and tells me he can only see me as a friend...nothing more...that he wants to get back with his ex...i just smiled and wished him well...i silently closed the door and began laughing hysterically...i never knew what she looked like...when i discoverd what she looked like i suddenly rememberd him walking with her all the time we were together and at one point leaving me in the middle of a discussion and kissing her on the cheek...but i was such a fool...i will be heartbroke that i will have to end this...but even more shattered if he left me for another...that would be taking my confidence and rolling it into a wad of spit and spitballing it back at me...am i over reacting...?...or have i yet again taken him back for all of the wrong reasons...?...things should end...even my mother is beginning to think so...which is a relief...she usually believes me incorrect...but after i told her what he hat stated she said i should really reevaluate our relationship...dearly i must bid you all farewell...i have more pacing and pondering to tend to...
~The Innocent Demon~

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Saturday, August 7, 2004

   happy birthday you old lady...
the beginning of today wasn't exactly a warm birthday welcome...as usual my mother and i had our ritual birthday fight...so i ended up cancelling the party...somewhere in the middle of the day we smoothed things over and the party was back on...I had to rush on over the salon and get my hair done...my mother's friend is a proffessional who set up shop in our small dull town but he is among the highest ranking in the state...after that i had to prepare...my mother requested me to wear an outfit she had picked out for me at Retro Rag...a vintage shop in Fresno...i have to admit she is excellent in picking out clothes for me...she knows what i like...they were a backless halter and a skirt...both brightly coloured and oriental prints...i was really digging how i looked...did i just use the word digging...?...o_O...anyways...the only people that could make it was my best friend and her boyfriend and my boyfriend and a small number of my family...i was rather nervous because her boyfriend was a member from my ex-band but he had no animosity towards me...whew...thankful for that...we were taken to Olive Garden and seated in the best seats in the building...the area was placed in the very center of the restaurant with graps and vines hanging around us...it was secluded...people could see in but they were unable to walk through...my friend presented me with the present she had created for me...i love it more than anything...it was a large wooden board with pictures of me and her with writing and designs and the whole ten yards...and she made me a chocolate cake as well...she also paid for half of our meals the total was over one hundred dollars and all she had on her was a fifty dollar gift card for olive garden...thanks rachel!!!!...then as usual the waiters and waitresses came in and sung happy birthday...one of the waiters mistakened me for Tori Amos...i don't see how but hey...i will take the compliment...after the meal we went on to a very fine place home to very delectable ice cream...after completing the dessert portion we headed on over to a world trade market...my mother purchased a few more items for me within the store...i was able to get my Jelly Bellies!!! ^o^...glorious jelly bellies...and my rice candy and...Poccy...did i spell that right...?...in any case it is one of the most rockin' candies i have ever placed between my lips...i then purchased a game for my xbox...one with vampires in it...i was unable to play it yet...and then my friend challenged me to a pole dancing contest...so she did a little shimmy but i like jumped upon it and wrapped a leg around it and threw my head back and then embraced my hands around it and swirled around...and of course with my luck my mother caught me...*blushes*...we were only playing...don't get the wrong idea...i am no stripper...i just know how to move my body to please the people...it is all a matter of grace...my family and i had to go our separate ways at this point and on our path we headed home...we dropped everyone off and i went on home...so here i am in front of my screen telling you of my day...so wow...it was a simple yet very joyful day...^__^...yay...no tears were shed upon this day...

also just in case you havn't look down in the last entry and there is a drawing...i would love feedback...Farewell all of my lovely friends....*waves*

~The Innocent Demon~
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   just a quickie...
this is a picture my boyfriend drew...not me...sadly i am not that talented...he would like some feedback...if possible...i will also be posting a new post later on today about my b-day so stop by a second time to see if it is up...


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Thursday, August 5, 2004

   moonlight savior...
Greetings all...

Can i sleep in your arms tonight?
Oh blessed heavenly light...can you embrace me and never release me...?...can you shield me from the bad weather of the world...can you place my blood back within my body...?...can you give my heart a place to stay...?...can you heal my sickness...?...can you pacify my hate...?...oh orb of hope can you come down and let me sleep in your arms tonight...?...i hid in shadows far longer than needed...i slipped through too many worlds unseen...i have bloodied myself more than usual...i lie here in death's grip...looking to you and yearning for your hand to pull me from the damage...can you help me undue the done...?...please can you purify my mutilated corpse...i did not mean to fall into the temptation of death...i did not take heed to warning call...please do not let me go...death is pulling harder and bringing me closer...i want to see your light but my sight is all a blur..so dark...so dark it is of now...i no longer see you...i want your aid now...please...rescue me before i am dead

tomorrow i hit the age of seventeen...happy birthday to me...not really...i don't feel like celebrating...i don't know why...i just don't want to plan a party...plus it is rather late...rachel is supposed to drop by and help me decide...i feel so lethargic...

Death of the Demon"
by amber sadoy

Moonrays fall down and create a silver gleam
She smiles at her reflection
Midnight black hair and watery blue eyes
Covered in a crimson robe
It flows slowly making her weak, slowly absorbing her life

The time is arriving
Sin is standing at the door
the scene has been set
And the death of the demon shall commence

The knife drops and clatters to the ground
She is pushed back by the hands of the Reaper
Plummeting backwards into the liquid glass
Her gown of crimson slithers from her and overpowers the water
The moon cries and her light now falls onto the floating image

The time is arriving
Sin is standing at the door
The blade has been plunged
And the Death of the Deon is taking place

Her eyes have been glued shut
Her smile peeled off
Her skin freshly pale
The blushing rose on her cheeks has wilted
The crimson robe ceases flowing and all is silent and still
Her black stained heart beats no more

the time is arriving
Sin is standing at the door
The blood has been drained
And the death of the demon has ended
(C)2004 Amber Sadoy
i posted that song earlier but no one was visiting my site at the time so i decided to let you all see it...

eww...i have no make up on...i look horrifying don't i...?...

Usuals:	usual what...???
Name::	Amber....The Innocent Demon...or Fae-Fae
Age::	sixteen...going on seventeen...tomorrow
Sex::	no thank you...oh...female...^_^
Height::	4'11"...no kidding...i am very short...the same height of my grandfather...if it is true that filipinos are so short then i must be the shortest
Hair Color::	Red...oOo...
Eye Color::	green-hazel...
Weight::	99 lbs now
Shoe Size::	ooo...um...seven
Favorites:	ok...sure
Color::	red and black
Number::	8, 13, 27 is my unlucky number
Letter::	...um...i don't really play favoritism with the alphabet
Animal::	cat
Weather::	foggy, rain
Band::	HIM, AFI, Incubus, Diary of Dreams, The Cure,Linkin Park, Rasmus,Chris Botti, i could go on forever you know
Artist::	my ex brother in law...one of the most amazing painters i know...*bows*...i love him so much
Guitarist::	hmm...i still think Hendrix is the master
Singer::	oOo...Ville...Brandon Boyd...Robert Smith...Amy Lee
Drummer::	Joey Jordison...and Dave Grohl
Key boardist::	Chris Martin from Coldplay...or did he play the piano...?...o_O
Pianist::	not sure...
This/That:	i wouild like or please
Pepsi/Sprite:	ooo...Sprite
Outgoing/Shy:	shy at times...outgoing when i feel confident
Mean/Nice:	nice...with a mean streak
Depechemode/VnV Nation:	not sure...
Pantera/Cannable Corpse:	um...Cannable Corpse
Guitar/Drums:	Guitar
Singer/Dancer:	Singer
Day/Night:	Night
Sunlight/Moonlight:	Moonlight
Romantic/Normal:	Romantic
Freak/Looser:	Freak
Loner/Popular:	Loner that is somehow popular...
Quiet/Loud:	i have my quiet moments...well usually almost always but when i am with friends i am loud
God/Atheist:	...still debating this...
Some more...:	more of what...?...
Do you believe in god?:	who knows anymore...
Why?:	i have my personal reasons
Any Siblings?:	yes...many...but i only count one as my real blood sister
How old are they?:	32 going on 33
Do you like humans?:	eh...they taste good
How about animals?:	oOo...i love them
Or crayons?:	they taste good too
Relationship...:	with you...?...
B/f Or G/f?:	ooo...i met this really hot girl...err...um...i mean boyfriend...
Bi, Straight, Gay:	straight as a crooked pin...just kidding...i am straight but a lot of people think i am Bi...
Are you single?:	no...but maybe i should be
Why or Why not?:	*rolls eyes*...must you know everything...?...
Do you love them?:	...
Do they love you?:	...
Have a crush on someone?:	yes....very much so
Have stupid pet names? or have you in tthe past?:	many
Virgin?:	yes i am...and i am not ashamed
Have you ever....:	ok...
Had Sex?:	well if i said i was a virgin earlier...*rolls eyes*...get the questions straight
Killed an animal?:	purely by accident...my uncle was trying to show me how to shoot and i killed a birdie
Gone Surfing?:	no
Gotten High?:	...yes i have...
listened to a band you hated?:	yes i have
Kiilled someone?:	um...no...*stuffs missing limbs under mattress*...not at all
Tried?:	when i was little i somewhat tried attacking someone with a knife...and i threatened my grandmother that i would stab her...i was an evil little child...
but got caught?:	not really
Bunge Jumped?:	no but i would love to
Tried Suicide?:	yes...too many times
Read a very long book... (over 500pg's):	all the time
Kissed someone?:	yes
Told someone you loved them, but didn't mean it?:	yes...i have...don't do it...it only produces pain
Made out?:	...yes...with a complete stranger...i grabbed him and took him to the restroom and just let him have it
Oral?:	nope
Been called a freak?:	hah...more times than needed
Are you one?:	yes
Had a pet?:	*tear...yes
What was the pet?:	dogs...and cats...goldfish...a turtle...and a duck...and a dog i thought was a goat
Do you...:	yes...????
Care about anyone?:	of course
Love your enemies?:	sometimes...
Kill helpless animals?:	no...what if they become mutated and kill helpless little me
Go to parties every night?:	no...in this town...?...hah
Hate posers?:	eh...they are only tryin to discover who they are...we are allowed to experiment
Beat others up because they are different?:	no...never

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EmotionDump - 100% Anonymous Emotions and Confessions

ok...um...i was really bored so this next one has over two hundred questions...pass on over
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