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myOtaku.com
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AIM
• InnocentDemon8
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• europa_nymph
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Birthday
• 1987-08-06
Gender
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Female
Location
• The city of lost angels..a,k.a. Los Angeles
Member Since
• 2004-06-26
Occupation
• singer/ writer/ student/vampire/old age goth/witch
Real Name
• Amber but you can call me Fae-Fae
Personal
Achievements
• Choir Awards, Singing Awards, Poetry Awards...too many to list, Honor Roll my whole life
Anime Fan Since
• well...since eighth grade but my newfound friends in p.e. got me more into it
Favorite Anime
• Inuyasha, Cowboy Bebop, Witch Hunter Robin, Chobits, Yuyu Hakasho, Tenchi Muyo, Ruroini Kenshin...i know i spelled some of those wrong
Goals
• to become a singer, study in Italy, find my true vampire love...already attained, to master my craft of magic
Hobbies
• singing, being different, daydreaming, writing, dieing, bleeding from sel-inflicted wounds, crying, hurting, mentally breaking down, hating, loving everything but myself, ridiculing myself, drinking blood, casting spells, and learning about Wicca
Talents
• singing, writing,...i think that is it
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myOtaku.com: Fae Tsukiakira
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Welcome to my site archives. 10 posts are listed per page.
Pages (10): [ First ][ Previous ] 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 [ Next ] [ Last ]
Thursday, July 1, 2004
 In my own words...
here is some of my poetry and song lyrics...let me know what you think
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Wednesday, June 30, 2004
The Moon Your personality is lunar. You shine when others share themselves with you, and are lonely when they are not. Your friends probably perceive you as aloof, and cast you in the role of wise counselor. They may be unaware how much they really mean to you.
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Tuesday, June 29, 2004
 *whistle*
hmmm...things have been rather silent...i have received the new CD of The Cure..gotta love them...hmm...i have to go for a while...i will enter a new entry later on tonight...
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Sunday, June 27, 2004
 sleepless...
aye...i should be sleeping in my bed right now entering my realm of dreams...falling back into my home...my safety...unfortunately the sandman forgot to sprinkle some of his dust upon my eyelids for if he did then the gentle breeze must have flown into my bedroom spraying the grains away onto another restless soul...i want to sleep...but my body just lies there and i cannot drift...i remain trapped in this miserable reality...so grey so dull and lifeless...no color in this life...no energy...no zest..but my world...ah...my lovely dream world...everything is serene and ambiant...no one could touch me unless i venture into the red zone...that is where the nightmares lie but sometimes one needs a good fright from time to time...perhaps i should cease typing for now...oh well...hopefully sleep will come for a visit before the morning decides to wake from her slumber.
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Saturday, June 26, 2004
my angel has died...
please....destroy me now....i hate breathing....i hate the oxygen that gives me life and makes me endure this consistant headache...where is the one....?....the one who can save me...the one who can catch me and fly me out of Hell out of torture and into bliss...is there no one person who can save me?...Please angel who have forgotten me....i need your help
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 just hazy thoughts...
well....time is driving me crazy...which each passing moment the guilt sinks lower and lower into my mind...thoughts that satisfy my heart yet break it at the same time...is this love an allusion?....sometimes i wonder...do i love for companionship? or do i love beacause i love...it is hard to determine....words are being spun and emotions are being torn and i am trapped in the middle looking for a way to break the bonds....i fear....i fear all that touches me...i fear the daylight for it means another day has passed....i loathe the night for that is when i wish to free but am held in captivity....some day....some day that love and sweet midnight air shall be mine for the taking...all will be right....it has to be....it is the only hope i cling to in this decaying world.....so corrupt are the times of now....so little light....people pull me telling me what i should believe....there she goes again....perhaps if i close my eyes and wish on the darkness it will rescue me and shelter me.....i shall have to close this entry for now....perhaps it shall be continued later on into the night....but then perhaps it shall not
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 destroyed kinship...
my mother is not a mother...she is just a woman who tries to buy my love with material possessions....when someone else cries out...she runs to them...but when i need help and i feel the only way out is by pushing a blade into my flesh she turns and tells me how ignorant i am...if someone else does they aren't ignorant...but i am....is it because i am her daughter?....yes i told her i didn't want her to treat me like a daughter...but that was a long time ago...these past months i asked her to treat me like a daughter....but she didn't....she never did....i don't know what a mother is....i have no father nor mother....no guardian....no angel...no protector...and when i say i think it should be quits with my boyfriend she throws all of these guilt trips on me..."well then you can tell him this...you can tell him that...now i can't help him anymore....you explain to him and his mother...."...sometimes i wish sadness would kill me...no pain is worse than this....a knife buried deep in my heart cannot compare to the emotional wounds and scars...then she will go and tell my boyfriend or someone else...she is this she is that...i want to fade away....i wish i were invisible....i hate breathing....i hate living....i hate thinking and talking....i just want to leave this world and find one where my pain can be remedied....would she even flinch if one day i were gone?....i have so much anger built inside of me...so much hatred and hurt...please God...gods or goddesses whoever rules over the heavens...please please cease my misery....i don't want gloom for a companion...can't happiness come and visit and stay this time?....is that too much i am asking for?...please send me some answer because time is becoming my enemy...my foe...blood looks so reassuring...my own blood that is...for with each drop that falls so goes a drop of my life energy along with it...such a beautiful picture it is...so lovely...the life draining from my body...peace finally entering my soul....finally means the release is coming...the tension is leaving...i will enter the eternal reassuring sleep never to be disturbed or tortured....someday happiness and joy shall belong to me
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 some dreams should come true...
Recent dream that has visited me in my sleep....
I lie in a coffin...dead...lifeless...my love...a love who i have not met but who is of a godsend...long black hair and green eyes and pale skin lies on the top of the coffin putting his ear to the polished woodhis heart beats reverberating to the inside of the coffin slowly offering me life and breath...a tear slides from his face and into a crack falling onto my eye...my eyes flutter open and I feel the blood rushing through my body once more...he kisses the coffin and places his hand upon the wood...i feel the heat circulating from his hand and i lift my hand and place it onto the silk that surrounds me...i shift inside and tap the sides to let him know i am not dead...just frozen from heartless love...he backs away and lifts the lid and i step out only to fall into his arms buried in his hair...then he cuts his arm and makes me to drink his blood...then all goes black...and i awaken in a room a crimson room and he is there by my side...and then i awaken in my real room...i think my heart is lieing to me
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tattered love...
pray for eternal death and eternal life...away from you i must be...please leave , leave me now...you are not mine...i was never yours...my heart has run from your fledgeling heart into another's...i belong to him the one you know not of...i know him not also but i know that we are one, a soul, one body, breathing together, away from each other, waiting to meet, waiting to love, waiting to die, waiting to live a real life.....
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 unconscious right now
stop....breathe....release....let the words flow...do not think....
mystery awaiting....darkness lighting...beauty descending...falling into nothing...wind carrying me far to the land of beyond...to the place...to where i belong...my haven...my land...my mental escape...my imaginary playland...dance freely...grace...miniatures following the police............running.....the evil is following....i need to leave....things are eating me...devouring me....the pulse heightens....the rush is waiting to release..............follow........love...........die........arms of the love....the love....the love....my love....my lord....my dark and secret love.....the hair cascades around enveloping....pulling me out of this nightmare.....the fire swirls around me....it whips at me nipping my flesh.... it draws me in...i step into its cavernous mouth...it devours me turning me to ashes....i am the earth...i am nature...feel my spirit as you step upon my skin...embrace me....love me...for soon you shall become me....
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