|
myOtaku.com
• Join Today!
My Pages
• Home
• Portfolio
• Guestbook
• Quiz Results
Contact Me
AIM
• InnocentDemon8
E-mail
• Click Here
Website
• Click Here
Yahoo! Messenger
• europa_nymph
Vitals
Birthday
• 1987-08-06
Gender
•
Female
Location
• The city of lost angels..a,k.a. Los Angeles
Member Since
• 2004-06-26
Occupation
• singer/ writer/ student/vampire/old age goth/witch
Real Name
• Amber but you can call me Fae-Fae
Personal
Achievements
• Choir Awards, Singing Awards, Poetry Awards...too many to list, Honor Roll my whole life
Anime Fan Since
• well...since eighth grade but my newfound friends in p.e. got me more into it
Favorite Anime
• Inuyasha, Cowboy Bebop, Witch Hunter Robin, Chobits, Yuyu Hakasho, Tenchi Muyo, Ruroini Kenshin...i know i spelled some of those wrong
Goals
• to become a singer, study in Italy, find my true vampire love...already attained, to master my craft of magic
Hobbies
• singing, being different, daydreaming, writing, dieing, bleeding from sel-inflicted wounds, crying, hurting, mentally breaking down, hating, loving everything but myself, ridiculing myself, drinking blood, casting spells, and learning about Wicca
Talents
• singing, writing,...i think that is it
|
|
|
|
myOtaku.com: Fae Tsukiakira
|
Saturday, June 26, 2004
hmm...
I sit here and look at pictures and cannot believe how fast these years have passed...they whisked by me unexpectedly...while as a child it was exciting to dream of growing up and becoming an adult...but now that one year remains i find myself dreading and fearing the moment yet slightly anticipating it...this is it...our final time to make our mark...yet i do not know where to go to begin once the end has passed...i look back and realize how much i have changed and how my opinions have changed...i also feel lost...while entrapped into the mindset of religion i felt somewhat content and protected but now that i have stepped from outside of the box i now see what i have lost...but you can not truly return...religion isn't real in my opinion...humanity craves the knowledge of the unanswered mysteries...how did we begin?...what is our purpose on this earth?...where do we go after death?...perhaps there is something, perhaps not but each religion has different beliefs but the same basic structure...they all give various reasons as to why they are the right way and they offer an answer to the unknown...the people lap it up greedily wanting more believing in it and laying their very life into it...how can Christianity be considered to be the rightful way?...many other religions were founded before it even came to reign supreme...Christians persecuted others yet they chastized any other being who did the same...I love this quote from Ann Rice's Queen of the Damned..."'How great seems that achievement; the very machinery of culture dependent upon the fuel of religious belief."...it is true society has become dependent upon it in some cases...wait scratch that...not society as a whole...but certain people...it is not harmful to believe in a certain belief but one should not enforce that into others and then condemn them when it has been denied...we are all a part of something but what?...there is so much world out there so many things to experience yet so many of these religions hold you back from them...how can listening to a song based on anger and grief of a divorce be considered evil?...are you not supposed to feel these emotions?...churches do not want you to...pray...why can you not write of things dark?...why when i write my grim poetry is it considered hurtful and demonic?...why is listening to something that pacifies me considered to be hell-related?...why?...this does not make sense...you cannot deny your emotions and bottle them up and grab some Elmer's glue and paste a smile upon your face...life doesn't work like that...there is oppression, death, suffering out there...what does the church offer?...salvation...pray ...accept Christ as your Savior and you will be saved...when i accepted him into my heart did he prevent my mother from beating me and mentally abusing me?...did he save me from the ridicule?...did he save me from depression?...no he did not...i did not fall from religion...religion fell from me...when i was young it was easy to believe...my mind would grasp anything that would offer me uplift...all of those lonely nights i prayed and waited...patiently i waited...one week turned into a month... a month into a year ...a year into fourteen years...never was there a change...not inmy family...not in the danger around me...and how can a god send an innocent soul into eternal damnation...one who has never heard of him...never opened a bible because they were not aware there was one...how can they be sent to hell?...is this justice?...i scoff at the very thought...there is no hope in pulling me back into another cult of belief like that...perhaps i shall find something to believe in for i am merely human and i admit i am too weak to admit that there is nothing...there must be something but we shall never know the answers until death...if you are christian or buddhist or anything that is good...if you are not that is fine as well...just understand i find it hopeless to return to something that did more harm than good...but then who knows...maybe i shall be proven wrong...maybe i will become to this infectious belief once more...only time will tell...and nothing besides that
Comments
(0)
« Home |
|
