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myOtaku.com
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AIM
• InnocentDemon8
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• europa_nymph
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Birthday
• 1987-08-06
Gender
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Female
Location
• The city of lost angels..a,k.a. Los Angeles
Member Since
• 2004-06-26
Occupation
• singer/ writer/ student/vampire/old age goth/witch
Real Name
• Amber but you can call me Fae-Fae
Personal
Achievements
• Choir Awards, Singing Awards, Poetry Awards...too many to list, Honor Roll my whole life
Anime Fan Since
• well...since eighth grade but my newfound friends in p.e. got me more into it
Favorite Anime
• Inuyasha, Cowboy Bebop, Witch Hunter Robin, Chobits, Yuyu Hakasho, Tenchi Muyo, Ruroini Kenshin...i know i spelled some of those wrong
Goals
• to become a singer, study in Italy, find my true vampire love...already attained, to master my craft of magic
Hobbies
• singing, being different, daydreaming, writing, dieing, bleeding from sel-inflicted wounds, crying, hurting, mentally breaking down, hating, loving everything but myself, ridiculing myself, drinking blood, casting spells, and learning about Wicca
Talents
• singing, writing,...i think that is it
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myOtaku.com: Fae Tsukiakira
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Monday, August 9, 2004
This Feels All To Familiar...x_X...>_
*stares ahead rather lost in thoughts*...sorry all...i havn't been able to comment today...but i will leave comments on those entries i missed on the eighth...so look for them...I am so exhausted at the moment...i only wish to sleep...but alas this wish cannot be granted...i drifted on into a sleep at about two...and then i was awoken from a dream...the dream was rather frightening to me...this is what i recall...there is a hole in my chest...rubies are cascading from it...i move with the turn of the hall and see my boyfriend sitting at a table...the table top is designed like a painting i made...silver backdrop...a silver and black sky above...a teal and silver sea below...a golden orb in the center and within it a glowing red-orange fire...and white dots falling from the ocean to the sky...he has a knife i had given him as a present and my heart...the heart is pulsating rapidly...he is smiling slyly and using the knife to cut off little scraps...the pieces he cuts still beat as he slides them down into his mouth...then he looks at me and says "You've been torn away."...and i wake up...now i have this thing...in the corner of most of my papers and on cd cases i put the words TORN AWAY...and draw a tattered surrounding and i always draw a heart dripping with blood that has a dagger placed inside of it...earlier though my boyfriend had said something that disturbed me...the day was going blissfully until our conversation on the phone earlier in the night...i was mentioning to him of the happening of my friend splitting from her boyfriend...they fought over some of the same things we did...now as i have mentioned in previous entries, i am old fashioned...i don't move at a quickened pace...the holding of hands is something i consider a high way of showing affection...and i always love the stolen kisses...the innocent yet tender ones...my boyfriend however wishes for more...not sex mind you...but he wants me to be all over him...and he is always trying to feel me up...and slapping my ass...i find it rather nerving when i can't get up in front of him or pass by him without him slapping my ass...i have asked him to stop and when he gets too aggressive i pull away...and of course this annoys him...i mentioned on the phone that i was worried that i would push him away so much that he might leave me for another girl..before when i had this fear he always told me i was worth the wait and he would never even dream of crossing onto another girl and leaving me on Heartbreak Highway...but i fear that words can be too sweet...and their sugary taste eventually withers into a sour afterset...he told me that that could happen...he would get up and leave and go with another chick...i tried to shrug it off but i was feeling choked up...i wanted to leave the phone sitting there...luckily he had to get off...and when i hung up those words started drilling into my mind...reverberating and hurting with each resound...i do not plan to change to fix his lifestyle...but then i suppose i cannot expect that of him either...i am considering ending this before i end up even more bashed...he left me once before for his ex...even though he repeatedly denies it...i give him the play by play and he says that it didn't happen that way...i remember perfectly...my mother told me she had seen another girl hanging all over him...i knew he had female friends so i just left it at that...then he comes to my door and tells me he can only see me as a friend...nothing more...that he wants to get back with his ex...i just smiled and wished him well...i silently closed the door and began laughing hysterically...i never knew what she looked like...when i discoverd what she looked like i suddenly rememberd him walking with her all the time we were together and at one point leaving me in the middle of a discussion and kissing her on the cheek...but i was such a fool...i will be heartbroke that i will have to end this...but even more shattered if he left me for another...that would be taking my confidence and rolling it into a wad of spit and spitballing it back at me...am i over reacting...?...or have i yet again taken him back for all of the wrong reasons...?...things should end...even my mother is beginning to think so...which is a relief...she usually believes me incorrect...but after i told her what he hat stated she said i should really reevaluate our relationship...dearly i must bid you all farewell...i have more pacing and pondering to tend to...
~The Innocent Demon~
Comments
(5)
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