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myOtaku.com
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• InnocentDemon8
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• europa_nymph
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Birthday
• 1987-08-06
Gender
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Female
Location
• The city of lost angels..a,k.a. Los Angeles
Member Since
• 2004-06-26
Occupation
• singer/ writer/ student/vampire/old age goth/witch
Real Name
• Amber but you can call me Fae-Fae
Personal
Achievements
• Choir Awards, Singing Awards, Poetry Awards...too many to list, Honor Roll my whole life
Anime Fan Since
• well...since eighth grade but my newfound friends in p.e. got me more into it
Favorite Anime
• Inuyasha, Cowboy Bebop, Witch Hunter Robin, Chobits, Yuyu Hakasho, Tenchi Muyo, Ruroini Kenshin...i know i spelled some of those wrong
Goals
• to become a singer, study in Italy, find my true vampire love...already attained, to master my craft of magic
Hobbies
• singing, being different, daydreaming, writing, dieing, bleeding from sel-inflicted wounds, crying, hurting, mentally breaking down, hating, loving everything but myself, ridiculing myself, drinking blood, casting spells, and learning about Wicca
Talents
• singing, writing,...i think that is it
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myOtaku.com: Fae Tsukiakira
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Thursday, September 30, 2004
death is appearing sweeter with each breath i pull in...
Chaos has been placed in the middle of my life and is eating away from the inside out...my mother placed her hands upon me late of last night...i was working online to finish my homework and she demanded i get off because i was on to long...not even thirty minutes...so she comes intothe room grabs me by the hair...pulls me and starts jabbing me hard in the nape of my neck telling me to shut up and get off and i shall not go to anymore school conventions or anything of that sort...before logging off i typed an IM to my sister requesting that she call our mother and talk to her because she was hurting me again...well perhaps i made the mistake by doing so but at this point and time i have no idea what is right or wrong if i am fucked up or my mother...i am blind to all reality...blind to nothing but this pain and urge to place something around my throat or across my veins just to end this torment...let me continue...sorry...she would not leave me to my work but instead just sat down in the chair across from me and said she would not leave until i shut the hell up...i just wanted to be alone and i just needed her away from me and she just sat there with her smug superior looking down upon me and said no when i asked her to leave...i gathered my material and locked myself into the bathroom and i suppose she retired to her room...i am unsure...i had a headache gathering within the edges of my forehead and i decided to take a shower and then continue my work...my mother then came and started banging on the door and i just collapsed against the wall begging for her to leave me alone..apparently my sister was on the phone so i reached for the phone after she broke into the bathroom...my sister had received my message and was calling to tell my mother to stop...i don't wish to get into complete detail but my sister threatened to call the cops if my mother would not talk to her...to give you a view into my childhood and my mother's treatment upon me ...she smothered me as a child...she grabbed me by the neck and slammed me against a wall...she gagged me to the point of near suffocation...she stopped once i turned fourteen and last night she hurt me out of nowhere...i am left with the decision to retreat with my sister to michigan...all across the nation...i want to leave but i cannot leave my friends...everything i have built for myself here is now being stripped from me...now my mother won't look at me...she wants me gone now...she said she no longer loves eithe of us since we confronted her...i was lying on the couch listening to her discuss manners of getting me out of the house and she had no remorse within her voice...she seemed relieved...she was saying that the my sister wanted to place her into jail and then take everything from her...which is rather foolish because first off that is not our intention and my sister doesn't need my mother's things...they have more than enough money at this point and could care less about my mother's belongings...so much happiness was shining into my life in the beginning of yesterday...i was going to confront my Strumming Muse...my friends were nominating my friend and i for Homecoming royalty...our formal was coming up and i was going with Stud...and now i may have to leave all of this behind...i do not know which way to turn...i have been crying and breakingi only want release from this torment dancing within...i only want happiness...a family that loves me...i want to be left with my friends...i want the smile to remain on my face and not removed when i enter the door of my house...knowing that a fight is awaiting...i guess word is getting around that i may be leaving and i have received a downpoor of affection for reasons as to why i should not leave...if only it were that easy...even Stud doesn't want me to leave...he told me i have to stay...as did some of my teachers and other close friends...then there is the band...i return to them and now i am being separated again...what shall i do...?...at least if i am dead then all of these questions will not be pushing me and wanting an answer...i want to lie dormant within a casket...place the earthy soil upon my body...i no longer care...if i were there i would not be here and i sincerely wish i were anywhere but here...i have to go...i don't know if i shall return...i do not know if i can make it through this night...Farewell for only fate knows how long my absence shall be...
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