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Birthday
• 1982-04-02
Gender
• Female
Location
• I onced lived in heaven with my brain slowly roting away at room tempeture but now I'm stuck here in Shagri-la
Member Since
• 2004-02-15
Occupation
• Protecting the Founding Scriptures of Heaven and Earth
Real Name
• Sara Gabrile Shien-Jade

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Achievements
• I've keep the Sacred Scriptures away and hidden from the Prince of War,the War god; Homaru
Anime Fan Since
• I saw Cardcaptors
Favorite Anime
• Angel Santuary
Goals
• To earn some respect from the other gods in heaven and make them not think I'm a bastard child
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• My secret garden! sh....its supost to be a secret ^.~
Talents
• I have a green thumb and take care of injured animals! ^^




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myOtaku.com: FalenFarFromGrace


Tuesday, February 17, 2004

   "Faithful Hatred"
You use me and yet you greet me with a smile and a hug. Do you love me? Do you pity me? Do you hate me? I feel uneasy around you. I go out and do your dirty work for you and when the job is done, what the hell do I get? A pat on the head. A smile and a "Good job." Why do you treat me like I'm something special and yet still treat me like trash? Am I your beloved? Am I your pet peeve? Tell me. Tell me what you feel.


For you I feel love and hatred. Joy and sorrow. Bliss and suffering. I love you with all of my heart and hate you with all my soul. Others think of you as a heavenly being and yet I see the creature from Hades in you. I see the true you. The one you hide from the universe. The part of you that you hold back with chains at the bottom of your soul. And yet he always breaks free from his chains in some way shape or form and only you and I know when that happens.


You are the closest I can get to salvation. You are my God in more ways than one. I obey you and sever you. And yet I feel that I have been unfaithful by hating you. Though I can't go a day without saying "I hate you." and all you do is smile. Why do you have to be so stupid? Why do you even put up with me? I'm worthless and both of us know it. You keep me as some kind of trove and I'm getting sick of it.

If I leave where do I have to go? I have nothing in this world.Except for my feelings and you.So you are my everything. I'm worthless without you. You are the cause for my feelings. I thank you for them. For my memories. For my love. For my hate.For my soul.


Rash and sudden. When I was furious with you the other day you kissed me and held me in your arms and smiled down at me. Why did you kiss me?Was it to shut me up?Why did you hold me? Why was your smile different from all the others? Did it mean something? Dose it mean you love me?


I love you.I really love you.I love you for the monstrous thing you are. I don't care what other think. Maybe our love is taboo but do you really care? Do you care for me? I care for you, always. I want to kiss you. Hold you. I want you to give me proof of this worthless life. Just love me. Only me. I'm selfish for wanting you all to myself by I don't really care.But I also can't help but scenic a feeling of hatred towards you still. I guess that's part of love. Hate. They contrast eachother.


Like I contrast to you. My dark side.
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